33 weeks pregnant and depressed, no way out

Posted , 4 users are following.

I am 19 years old and 33 weeks pregnant since I was 15 I suffered with aniexty and depression and an eating disorder which I was on fluoxetine for a while then changed to citialopram, which seemed to help, when I found I was pregnant I made the descion to stop taking the anti depressants and I was doing surprisingly well. When I was 29 weeks pregnant my sister was raped and I found it hard but throughout my pregnancy I obsessed about my health that I was going to die to the point I suffered with a panic attack which has thrown me off, I now don't feel normal I feel I'm going to go insane I don't feel connected with myself I have to sleep in with my mum but I'm scared I'm going to forget who my family are and who I am, I walk into a room and feel anxious because I feel like don't know my surroundings, I feel very anxious writing this now. It feels like the only way out from this is not to be here anymore, I don't want to be in my bedroom cause it surrounded by all the baby's stuff and I panic I feel like I don't want this baby because of how I've started to feel , I feel I don't know who I am I don't like looking in the mirror cause I don't recognise myself I haven't eating a proper meal for 5 days I've been so anxious I've been vomitting . I just don't ever think I'll feel normal and myself again, they put me back on citialopram 20mg on 29th March but they changed me to fluoxetine on Sunday as i felt worse on citalopram, so I've been on fluoxetine for 3 nights now. I feel like my brains shutting down that I've got amnesia or dementia because I fear I'm going to forget my family and myself and my surroundings I feel I'm going insane . Will this get better?

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    I'm assuming that your doctor is ok with these medications while you are pregnant and your baby's brain is developing.

    If I were you, I would concentrate on a very healthy diet including lots of omega 3's (fish and flax seed oil), balanced B complex vitamins, Vit C, daily sunlight, and daily exercise.  

    When I was pregnant, I suffered from a folic acid deficiency which I was told also contributed to my post-partum depression.  Good luck to you and your baby!

  • Posted

    ❤️ You have s very full plate . Any one you can talk to , therapist /etc . Pregnancy is different for everyone , I too was terrified as due date approached , hormones are raging again . You need to eat. That's not healthy for you or baby . You're only 19 , that's hard enough to be in this crazy world ., you're not going crazy just overwhelmed with all that is going on .. I don't know if anything I wrote makes sense or is helpful . Please take care of yourself. Your baby needs its mom hugs 💕🌹
    • Posted

      I'm trying I just don't want to be here anymore if I'm going to feel like this x
  • Posted

    hang in there chloe you will change your thinking once the baby is here believe me because you will  have another to think about. v sad to hear about your sister.  I can see you are feeling it now keep going day by day and you will get there.

    rich

  • Posted

    You are obviously really struggling at the moment, but please don't give up. In a month or so you're gonna have a beautiful new little person in your life. Having your first son or daughter will likely be the proudest moment in your life. You do need to try and eat more for the babies sake, if you can't stomach a full meal why not ask your doctor if there is any meal replacements they can recommend just to make sure you're getting what you need.

    Although yes you have and still are struggling I think a lot of the bad feelings and sickness could also be due to your hormones flying up and down. I have also struggled with an eating disorder myself and I can bet you're likely struggling with the idea of gaining weight with the baby. It's something I've always panicked about, and still do even though I'm not pregnant. But you have a good reason to gain weight. Women are genetically more likely to gain weight for this specific reason, we are more likely to have more "flab" around our middle section because we are made to make amazing new little people.

    Try your hardest to keep going, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment you might find when you give birth your thoughts may change.

    I'm 20 myself, so a very similar age to you and I know how scary it is being pregnant at this age, I've had a few scares and also a possible miscarriage when I was 17. The doctor told me at the time I likely had a miscarriage due to the fact I was so mentally unwell and not looking after myself.

    If you just need a chat at any point I'm happy to give you my contact details so you can speak to me in person. I am completely non judgemental and maybe having someone out of the picture to chat with could help. I'm unsure how to give you my contact details over here as they don't allow emails or phone numbers I don't think. But if you want to look me up on Facebook my name is Jess Brianne Abigail Gilmour.

    Stay strong, you are an amazing person and so so strong for getting this far. It is incredibly difficult just dealing with mental health, with a baby on the way I'm sure it is double, if not even more hard.

    Xx

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