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5 years of anxiety and few depressions without serious medication.

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alex91387
alex91387

I am a person that was raised by parents with the thought that medication shouldn't be used because of its drastic side effects. Started suffering from anxiety 5 years ago when I had a panic attack in college, after this event my life has changed drastically. 6 months ago I decided to start therapy with a psychiatrist, we believe that medication could be a solution to my problem however, I havenot taken the decision to take it. My symptoms when anxious are the following: sweaty palms, pressure in my head, lack of concentration, lack of self confidence, social anxiety, anxiety to travel. My symptoms when depressed are the following: lack o motivation, lost of where to go in life, fear of failure, fear of lack of control, lack of motivation to wake up during the day. I am starting to feel that cognitive behavioral therapy is not enough for my problem, eventhough we have been working strong with my therapist I still dont find it is solving my problem. I am a very dedicated person currently pursuing a masters and working at the same time. Few people in my life know what im going through as I have always been seen from the outside as an overachiever. I also have a fear that falling in depression to much could lead me to be a more depressive person and that is why I am thinking to go a step further and try medication. I also feel that people near me dont feel the same way I do and I often ask my self why ? I also put my self in the positions of other and always ask my self how I would deal with that particular situation If I was in their place (this thought process often makes me feel worse). I know I have a big goal in life which is to become a successfull person and after this experience I want to create a source of helping people with anxiety and depression. In order to reach these goals in my life I have to deal with my own problems first and that is why im asking for an advice in this matter. I have tried reading books l like "feel good" and "panic Attack" but I seemed to get worst as i read thorugh them. I am starting to feel that the more involved I am in this problem the worst my feelings are. Trying to find for that particular solution of why I feel this way has not helped me as well, as it seems that I am looking for a particular answer that I am almost sure in my mind that I wont be able to find. What should I do ? the suggested medication for my case is to try one of the following medications: Lexapro, Celexa, (wellbutrin + Clonazepam). 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • sarah86347
    sarah86347 alex91387

    Posted

    You sound like a very intelligent person. I would greatly recommend looking up metacognitive therapy which has really hlped me understand why some people have a panic attack and dont end up with an anxiety disorder and some people do. Its through rumination.

    Medication will help your physical symptoms undoubtedly but what are you actually thinking at the time of either your anxious or depressive eopisodes? x 

    • alex91387
      alex91387 sarah86347

      Posted

      Thanks sara I greatly apreciate your response im going to look more into metacognitive therapy. My thoughts are negative, I feel stressed, I feel that I can't work and perform like I used to. I think of how I am going to get out of this situation and I often think about medication as my way to solve the problem. No matter where I am and What im doing I feel disconfort either by been anxious or by feeling depressed. I dont feel the same definately, I used to drink a lot too which made my anxiety worse, since I started therapy i haven't drink. 
    • sarah86347
      sarah86347 alex91387

      Posted

      It sounds like you are trying to dig yourself out of a hole, and that just makes it deeper. Because you have an analytical mind and are a overacheiver, your mind will look for ways to solve this issue, thinking about it in depth. I also did this. Other than realising that the things you think about are just thoughts that you are adding an importance to, there is nothing else to it. Like you said, you may never know the answer really. 

      I'd say get some more excercise into your routine. You sound like you have a lot of mental excercise but no other outlets. 

      There's no reason why you shouldnt try medication, if that's something you want to do. 

      A brief outline of the things i took from MCT that might help:

      Postpone worrying. Set a time each day to worry for ten minutes. This will allow you to take more control of your life/realise you control worry.

      Type 1 worries; Im going to panic, fail, i feel sad

      Type 2 worries: Why do i think I am going to panic, is there something wrong with me, am i going to have a breakdown, why do i feel depressed, when will the thoughts go away

      Type 2 are the ones that you go over for hours, think about at night and they become a habit.

      Id try to get some more excercise and relaxation, practise labelling thoughts as type 1 and type 2 and allow them to be without engaging, reasoning or arguing with them. 

      The more you agonise over thoughts, the more problematic they become. Don't avoid or suppress them, but allow them to just pass in your mind.

      Hope it helps xx 

  • aedii9
    aedii9 alex91387

    Posted

    Clonazepam is one I would like to try although if I'm not mistaken it is addictive and causes dependence. I've suffered from anxiety my whole life. My Mum thinks I was born neurotic although to be fair as I share half her genes there's probably some projection going on there. 

    I'm also an intelligent and capable person but years of mental health problems have slowed me down and some days I feel severely limited by the extent of my problems and the knowledge of what they have done to me and and my life. I feel anxiety and depression are largely useless kinds of suffering with me - they are parasitic and distort the person I truly am at heart. 

    Unfortunately I am also in a perpetual dilemma about medication. 1) because I have little trust in it overall, seeing as the majority of psychiatric drugs have dubious efficacy, and 2) because I have something of a trauma complex related to being disabled by very large doses of psychiatric medications when I had a psychotic breakdown 3 years ago. 

    I'd like to eliminate the anxiety, but that's probably ambitious. Some anxiety is natural and serves a purpose. Nicotine patches, for the time being keep the depression at bay but the social anxiety is an ongoing issue. Some days I cannot leave the house and can't look another person in the eye. I have occasional bouts of obsessive rumination and irrational anxious thoughts, although I'm very thankful these have improved. At age 16, I was virtually mentally incapacitated by the severity of my OCD/anxiety/mood and under performed/fell behind in every area of my life as a result. I've spent the last 6 years desperately trying to achieve my potential and salvage my life. 

    Medication can be helpful. It can take the edge off, it can make you less conscious of your own thoughts and feelings which can be helpful if like me you're always painfully aware of yourself and your own emotions. I've spent an ungodly amount of time hiding and suppressing my own thoughts/behaviours and compulsions just so I can function. 

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