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Admitting I am an alcoholic for the first time ever

Posted , 13 users are following.

sarah48129
sarah48129

This is my first time I have ever done anything like this, but I feel its time to try to make changes in my lift. 

I have been drinking between 30-50 units of alcohol a week for the past 9 years or so, I dont drink everyday - have 3-4 drink free days a week, but i get drunk about twice a week. 

I have told no one about this, everyone knows i like a drink, but my family and friends have no idea what I am going through. 

I dont smoke, eat healthy and exercise reguarly, so I give off the impression that everything is ok. 

I just want to get to the place where I dont want to drink all the time, and where I can have a weekend night without wanting to get hammered. 

This is really hard for me, I am fed up of being this person, I feel so alone with it. 

0 likes, 29 replies

29 Replies

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  • Sober_As
    Sober_As sarah48129

    Posted

    Hello Sarah,

    Each one of us is alone with it... it is such a personal battle.  We can help each other though, by sharing our "ups and downs" and by giving and taking advice.

    It is a big step to admit the situation.  I am an alcoholic too, but I don't like admitting it.  You can have some alcohol- free days, each week... so that is great... that is some control.  Take hope from that.  

    Have you confided in your G.P.?

    There is medication available that helps you cut down.  I am taking Selincro/Nalmefene.  

    You have come to this Forum... brilliant second step on your new journey.

    I wish you well.  You are moving in the right direction.

    You are really not alone, anymore.

    Happy landings(angel joke),

    Alonangel 🎇

  • RHGB
    RHGB sarah48129

    Posted

    Hello Sarah,

    You don't need to call yourself an alcoholic, we don't judge people here. With the odd exception, most of us have been/are in some sort of a similar situation that you find yourself in.

    The advantage of this fourm, is that you can learn through other's knowledge without have to suffer the learning experience as well.

    The fact that you can have alcohol free days, means that you are not alcohol dependent. Yes, you do get to that stage where you stop enjoying alcohol and it becomes a routine, a roundabout that you just can't seem to get off.

    There are plenty of like minded people here, you can talk to, so you are not alone. The good news is that you sound like you are a candidate for Nalmefene/naltrexone medication which helps the body not crave alcohol so much when drinking, alllowing you to temper your drinking.

    The small fly in the ointment is you will probably have to jump a few hoops to get there.

    I use a different sort of medication, so I'll leave it to someone who is more familiar with the suggested medications to explain them to you.

    Stick around, you will get plenty of responses.

  • sarah48129
    sarah48129

    Posted

    crying as I read your replies. I have a great family and friends and a life that is generally good, I have so much more than some people, I dont know i jeopardise it all and why I am so weak when it comes to alcohol. 
    • RHGB
      RHGB sarah48129

      Posted

      Because it is an addiction, just like heroin, and if you were addicted to that, you would be offered support and help. 

      Unfortnately, people with an alcohol problem are stigamatised and hide away from seeking help. There is a great lack of education about it in the medical industry and this is borne out by the way it is dealt with.

      You should be able to just go to your GP and get help for it, like any other illness, but most of the time, that is not the case.

      Try not to upset yourself over it (I know, easier said than done) and realise that you are now moving in the right direction to sorting it. Beating yourself up about it, really isn't going to help you, but if it makes you feel better, have a good cry and then start with a positive mood to move forward.

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As sarah48129

      Posted

      Crying helps let the pain out.  I cry a lot... about my state, about others' state, about helpful advice... etc.

      We all tend to "beat ourselves up" about the alcohol.

      There are others here in "good lives", drowning in booze. The case for genetic predisposition, is strong.  I am no expert, just another weakling where drink is concerned.

      I am sitting up in bed just now.  I can see the street.  It is pouring with rain outside.  My thoughts are about going to the shop for wine.  My health is not great... but I cannot get through the day without alcohol.  I am desperate for the medication to help. I am very afraid of running out of chances !

      Take care, new friend.  You can do it.  You have started the journey.

      Alonangel 🎇

       

    • sarah48129
      sarah48129 Sober_As

      Posted

      Thank you so much, I already feel that tiny bit stronger now having done this, I know I am not physically speaking to someone, but even typing this thread is the first time I have interacted with other people regarding my alcohol problem. I guess even a baby step, is still a step. 

      My thoughts go out to you, I hope today is not too horrible, I hope you find the strength or courage or whatever it is that allows you to make positive changes in your life. 

      I already feel less alone. 

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 sarah48129

      Posted

      Glad to see you here, Sarah.  You will find lots of help and understanding. 

      You are doing the right thing and you must not feel that you are unique...you will soon realise that as you read the posts in this forum.  I think you are dealing with the problem at a good time because you can still have drink free days, so you are not yet totally dependent ( I wish I could say the same!!).

      Hope you find your answers and become that person you want to be.

      Pat xxxx

    • Sober_As
      Sober_As sarah48129

      Posted

      Hi again, Sarah.  I cannot cope with the "face to face" speaking about it, just now.  Communicating here is my lifeline.  I am so glad I found it.  I freaked a couple of times and left... but I came right back.  You are at a good age in your life, you can turn this torture around.  I only acted when things had gone to a terrible place..... had been functioning fine, then not feeling right.  Long story short--- alcoholic hepatitis.  I drank on for 6 months after diagnosis... beyond help.  My damaged liver recovered after staying off alcohol for 20 months.  Why did I drink again?  Life sh*t. Grief.  Lost it.  I have been drinking again for 3 years.

      I am 60 now.  I don't feel old... l feel damaged.  

      You can avoid my rubbish.  You are stronger.  You know what is happening to you.  Only you can fix it.  I know you will, I just feel good for you.  You have strength... that is how you can go alcohol- free for a few days.  I am already taking hope from your new journey.

      I hope you don't mind my age.  That is the first time I have stated it, on here.  

      Alonangel 🎇

       

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 sarah48129

    Posted

    i'm curious as to how old you are because I was able to "function" with alcohol being part of my daily routine...until I was 41.  I then managed 8 years of sobriety because I was at a point at 41...that I could no longer drink and keep up with my daily activities...the body gets tired quicker.

    ​Now at 52...I drank for the last 2 years..and almost died at least 3x.

    ​Alcoholism is progressive....sooner or later things will change for the worst. I hope for you that you can get a hold of the problem...before it gets a deeper hold on you sad

    • sarah48129
      sarah48129 Misssy2

      Posted

      Hi Missy, 

      I am nearly 32, I have cut down a bit over past few years, I did used to drink everyday (only two on days when I was working) , however I now have at least 3 drink free days a week....sometimes 4-5. 

      I really need to sort this out though as I knopw I am still drinking way too much, I am really getting my head together to try to stop this, I feel like I have just had enough now, Its like a massive weight dragging me down, if that makes sense

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree sarah48129

      Posted

      Sarah, have a look at this link, sounds like it's just what you're looking for:

      https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

      I use this method myself and have cut down from about 84 US units per week to around 30. 

      I'd say the first step is to get an appointment with your GP asap, as you might be referred to the local alcohol treatment service to be approved for the medication. Start a drinks diary and log what you drink per day, they'll need to see that. 

      Stick with us, we'll help you through this!

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sarah48129

      Posted

      Thank you for responding with your age...Its great you have some "off" days...doesn't mean it is not a problem...it clearly is a problem for you OR you wouldn't be here...best of luck
  • rainbow2014
    rainbow2014 sarah48129

    Posted

    Hello Sarah 

    I'm so pleased that you have shared your story here. You are definately not alone ! As the others have stated, it's great news that you have free days !That says alot to prove you are not yet dependant as yet . When I was your age I drank too much and felt good also to have the odd free day , although that was not often. I was working full time and managing to cope with bringing up my two kids at the same time alone. Now , 12 years later I am exhaused. My memory is bad, I suffer nitemares and sleep paralyasis and generally feel i cannot cope with life at times. Does drink dependancy run in your family ?  Also , has anyone in your family made you feel bad for having a drink ?

    I am feeling very positive for you Sarah . Please carry on this new journey in helping yourself . Believe me , it can get much worse and it's well worth taking control of it now at your age . Also, this is not your fault ! this is an illness and an addiction. Please dont feel bad in any way 

    I cry alot too but accepting that you are helping youself by being kind to yourself is a big step

    Take care xx 

    • sarah48129
      sarah48129 rainbow2014

      Posted

      Hello Rainbow, thank you so much for your kind words :-) 

      I do not think it runs in my family, they are very much in the dark about my problem, I am so good at hiding it. My family love me very much, but I dont think I can tell them... the thought petrifies me :-( 

  • rainbow2014
    rainbow2014 sarah48129

    Posted

    Yes, I remember you saying that in your initual post . Thats great that you have a close family smile Some members of my family are aware of my problem because of the way I have behaved at get togethers etc , although a few of my family members have the same issues ! When alcohol takes over and you often make a fool of yourself ! thats when you need to worry more also ! 

    Good luck with catching this early Sarah and keep posting . We are all good listeners 

    Take care xx

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