Advice please
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hello, new to this but really need some help. Id been miserable after finding out my dad had terminal lung cancer and I had been suffering with burning feet and restless legs at night to the point of not sleeping. I had tried morphine, oxycodone etc before, more of a stupid dable really but then my boyfriend purchased some fentanyl which I began taking the euphoria was something else, never felt so calm and relaxed, slept well but also had energy to get things done and I was happy. Stupid but happy. Then i started thinking about the down sides, the awful constipation, not eating properly, taking it religiously, hiding it from people, no sex or desire for sex in months. Lost all interest in going out, doing things and seeing anyone. I started worrying about the long term effects, not being able to have children etc. So 5 days ago i stopped. The sweats, chills, shaking, feeling weak like I've never felt it before, total and utter despair. The worst is the depression, i cry constantly to the point im beyond worked up having what i think is a panic attack and being sick. Not to mention the RLS being 100% worse than ever before.My boyfriend keeps saying it will be OK and that its just a chemical imbalance in my head that will soon pass. I finally went to the doctors yesterday and told him everything. He sent me away with some beta blockers because of my distressed state and have me a depression questionnaire. Im off work, lying to people i love and im ashamed and terrified things won't get any better. I've been looking at forums where and considered trying to self medicate again to get better but that's not going to get me anywhere. I want my doctor tob understand and help me not through antidepressants and anxiety tablets at me. Thank you for reading.
0 likes, 12 replies
angie86937 sophie92186
Posted
Sophie how on earth did you get hold of all those meds? You say your boyfriend purchased some fentanyl ?. I do understand everything you put as I've been an addict of Dihydrocodeine fir 14 years . You will lie to anyone as this is all part of the struggle. I'm still not anywhere near being able to stop my addiction . Just can't work out how you came to get hold of all those opiate . All the best , let me know xx
sophie92186 angie86937
Posted
Hi Angie, started with taking a couple from my dad, morphine, oxy. He didn't want them and asked me to get rid. Then it spiralled, boyfriend knew someone who sold them and an analogue of fentanyl and it went rapidly down hill. I've never been filled with such regret, feel so ill, can't tell anyone why and my doctor won't listen. I'm still taking dihydros but I'm not sure they're doing anything. Thanks for replying xx
aja2278 sophie92186
Posted
If hes not listening or believing u fire him & get urself a better dr that fentinal is a pain med they give u before surgery and during it. I was given it in a patch, did nothing for me. Dnt medicate yourself it can b dangerous and do bad stuff to ur body. I learned the hard way. Get urself into detox kinda place. Wen i was there n i have a spinal issue i learned i didnt need all the meds i was on i still take my morphine but instead of 60mgs a day im dwn 2 30 mgs a day unfortunately after beeing on morphine for over 2 yrs n i didnt want it in the first place no other pain med will help.
tina18497 sophie92186
Posted
Sophie 92186, I really want to tell you how strong you are. You have done what most people can't do. I know the withdrawals are unbelievable I know because I have been where your at. I have come off my meds several times and the pain is always so bad that I have to go back on them. Six years later here i am again . But I have severe withdrawals. I have trouble breathing and getting dehydrated. So I will have to be hospitalized and I don't know that I would survive on my own. So I give you a lot of credit for doing this on your own. I hope things get better really soon. Keep in touch and let us know how your doing. Thanks.
stacey61584 sophie92186
Posted
I've been addicted to opiates for 5 years then I came off of them and went to suboxone for 3 yrs and I was tired of it being a part of my everyday life and halfing to depend on it everyday so I decided to quit cold turkey!! I'm 23 days sober today and I'm not gonna say it was easy getting to this point bc it was very ruff!! The worst was the insomnia n rls!! I thought I was gonna die but I'm here to tell you it does get better!! Today I couldn't be happier I do have anxiety n depression once in a while but other than that I'm an all around more happy person!! I have life that I never knew I had back in me now!! Goodluck n don't give up!!
tina18497 stacey61584
Posted
High Stacy I want to tell you how how strong you are. You have done one of the hardest thing a young woman like yourself should ever have to go through. Being addicted to pills at your age it's a major accomplishment and for you to take yourself off of them. How did you get on them did you have a medical condition or were you just caught up with them. You never said . But it doesn't matter as long as your healthy. You have done something most people only dream of. Congrats.
stacey61584 tina18497
Posted
Hi Tina! I want to say thank you so much that means alot to me!! I just got caught up with the wrong crowd of people n didn't say no and it went down hill from there!! It was definitely a tough one to get to this point but we'll worth it!! I got 3 beautiful girls that depend on me that I took for granted for soo long n I'm ashamed bc of that!! I'm definitely proud of the person n mother I am today and I'll never look back nor give up!!
tina18497 stacey61584
Posted
stacey61584 tina18497
Posted
Thanks tina!! It means alot!! It's definitely not an easy road at all but I'm 27 days sober today n couldn't be more happy with life!!
Lulu80 stacey61584
Posted
You should be massively proud Stacey! I cold turkeyed off codeine and it was horrendous but I knew it was the only way i could do it, i would have never been able to do a taper as I would have used any excuse to just have one extra! 27 days is amazing, you may still get an occasional bad day but every other day is so worthwhile not being in that fogged up state that at the time you feel is normal! When I first ventured outside after about 8 days clean I couldn't believe how bright daylight was! This was back in February I got clean and my life has changed so so much for the better since then my relationship is like we are newlyweds again, i finally have me back! Keep sticking with it honey and if you ever have a bad day feel free to pm me to get you through it x
stacey61584 Lulu80
Posted
Thanks lulu80!! I'm very proud of you also!! Yes it was a very ruff beginning n yr truly right I have soo much more life in me now!! My marriage was on the verge of divorce when I was using n I can honestly say now we are happier than ever!! My whole outlook on life is so much different now!! Thanks for yr support it means the world to me!! I'm 29 days sober today and I'm never looking back nor giving up!!
tina18497 sophie92186
Posted
Sophie I was just thinking about you and I thought I would drop you a line to see how thing's are going. Please be strong and know that we care. Thanks Tina.