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Alcohol problems

Posted , 7 users are following.

Paper_fairy
Paper_fairy

Hi. I've posted on here a few times. I'm in a mess due to the demon drink again. I was a 24/7 drinker years and 3 years ago went to rehab and been a binge drinker since. Weeks, months without and then life throws something at me and I drink for a few days. 4 th time in 7 months tho taken naltrexone last 3 days and the other binges..it works as I haven't got in a mess or drank more than a bottle of wine each time. I do get the hangover, big time tho,like now:-(

My partner who I've lived with on and off for 3 years( all the time last 7 months)he's had enough of my binges and taking meds. Can he just chuck me out or do I have any rights to stay. I'm too ill to go now, I need time to sort stuff out. Should I refuse to leave? I'm so scared. I'm not a horrible person and I've done nothing wrong apart from drink sometimes. I'm so scared..

1 like, 26 replies

26 Replies

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  • audrey80537
    audrey80537 Paper_fairy

    Posted

    I don't know where u r but if there is an AA group in your area, call them. They will help you.
  • olivo
    olivo Paper_fairy

    Posted

    You have to convince him that you are seriously TRYING to change, and ask for his help- but then you must stand by that, I am like your partner, end of my tether and false promises- he's doing the "cruel to be kind" thing, but to be honest, it wears thin - all the broken promises. My husband doesnt promise anymore, and he has said he is quite happy being a  drunk (his words not mine)-just like you, we can have a couple of weeks of 'normal' life, then he binges on vodka, and I am the one who has ruined his life etc etc. SO you have to mean it, not keep relapsing-to be honest, it gets boring.
    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 olivo

      Posted

      Anyone who is taking the time to read , write or look at this forum , is trying . And I am sure no one wants there life to be the mess it is when alcohol gets its claws into you .  I know I need support when I am doing things right , not constant criticism when I am not .

       

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Hi. Problem with my phone so gone on to iPad ( it won't let me reply as the screen just goes dark and can't use it it's an ongoing thing and not sure why it does this!). Anyway, I go to AA as partner is 22 years sober and in AA. I do service too. I think the steps are good and I like a couple of the meetings but a lot of them are so depressing. 
  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy

    Posted

    I have a lot of friends in AA. I "keep coming back" !!! As they say!
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Paper_fairy

    Posted

    HI paper fairy....I can totally sympathize with you, I know just how difficult it is to get and stay SOBER....

    I was an alcoholic ( really bad..life threatening. ) for ten years...

    I was sectioned four times into a mental health HOSPITAL, I had numerous home detoxes, I had a LOVELY alcohol nurse for many years, and I was kept in the mental health system for twelve years.....I have now been alcohol free for nearly 13 yrs....it took me a long time, but my whole life has changed, I was lucky my whole !! Family never, ever, ever gave up on ME...

    I am surprised in a way that your partner is being so hard on you...after all....he was in your shoes once....he must realize that you are trying hard...his being angry will not help...

    Ask him to give you a little more leeway and understanding....being threatened does not help....I am sure that he would not leave you homeless....

    Keep on trying. .you will do it, it does get easier as time goes on...I promise you...I do so hope that things work out for you young lady...you will be in my thoughts...keep your chin up....Big, big hugs to you.. I always say. Some reformed alcoholics have the least patience. HUGS, Deirdre xx x.

    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind words Deirdre..it means a lot. I will keep trying xx
    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Just keep trying . Every step you take is a positive step . Being on this forum is a positive step , if you were so drunk you would not be able to do it . Xx good luck 
    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy kathryn_06555

      Posted

      Thank you Kathryn. I do keep trying. I drank only 1 bottle of wine on 2 days. I didn't get out of control, blackout or anything. Because my partner is a non drinker now, he goes crazy if I have any alcohol and is very against antidepressants which I also take. So we have our fallouts. 
    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 Paper_fairy

      Posted

      My husband and I have the same issues,  I am also on antidepressants, I think it goes hand in glove with drinking , but as long as you are making some effort , which you are , if we were all so bad at this we wouldn't be able to make comments on this forum . So we are making steps forward , we have all made the first step by just dong this. I am proud of all the people on this forum . 😃😃❤️
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 kathryn_06555

      Posted

      I'm on antidepressants too, Kathryn.

      You sound to be a really lovely person, it's lovely to have you here on this forum.

      Pat

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy

    Posted

    I also think they should have a separate forum for partners of alcoholics, like ALANON. Where they can talk to like minded people who understand them. I thought this forum was for alcoholics who support each other.thank you for your comments you 3 lovely ladies, you understand and help with good advice, and you survived and got well. You are an inspiration to those that are trying so hard x
  • olivo
    olivo Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Sorry if I seem to criticiise, certainly not meant. And I didn't realise this forum was for alcoholics only. 
    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy olivo

      Posted

      Hi. That's ok olivo. It must be very hard for you when your husband has given up trying to give up. We are all just trying to get help and advice here. We are here to support each other :-)
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 olivo

      Posted

      It isn't meant JUST for alcoholics at all.  It's meant for anyone having problems with alcohol....be it with themselves or a loved one.  I think sometimes it can be just as damaging on the sober person in a partnership, it must be very frustrating.

      Oh, and I am NOT an alcoholic, I just am alcohol dependant.....

      Pat rolleyes

    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 olivo

      Posted

      I'm sure it's not just for alcoholics , I think it's just for people with any kind of alcohol abuse , them selves or any loved one connected with them .

      i am on this forum because I have an alcohol problem .  And I am trying to deal with this, but also I have a 78 year old dad , who is an alcoholic , so I see your point of view as well . I have had to pick my dad up of the floor and clean him up , sick, wee and more, 3 people to get him in the shower to hose him down . It is not a easy thing to do , but having my own issues with alcohol , I do understand how hard it is for him . And that is why I am trying hard to not put my family through that in the future . X 

       

    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 patricia44773

      Posted

      Hi pat , how do you define NOT  an alcoholic .  That will really interest me , as I feel the same way x 

       

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 kathryn_06555

      Posted

      Hi Kathryn, I guess I could be delusional, but I really don't class myself as an alcoholic....I could be totally wrong.  I have no qualifications to back up what I think, but I will tell you why I said that.

      I never drink before 8pm, unless I am at a wedding or something.  If someone offered me a drink during the day I would probably refuse it.  I never ever have cravings to drink during the day.  But come the evening I am looking forward to my 5 to 8 units of alcohol and I would find it hard to not drink because the craving is very strong.  I wouldn't be able to sleep and I would be very on edge, so I always make sure I have access to alcohol in the house.

      For that reason I rather think I am alcohol dependent and not a full blown alcoholic.....but as I said, I could be totally wrong.

      I will be interested to hear what you think, because you have more experience than I have on the subject, having to deal with your Dad.  My dad was very much like me and drank most evenings and he died of liver failure....so that worries me very much....I never saw him falling-down-drunk...only merry now and again.

      I don't think my drinking affects my family....at least I hope not.

      Anyway, thank you for asking......I answered as honestly as I could.

      Patrolleyes

    • kathryn_06555
      kathryn_06555 patricia44773

      Posted

      Nice to hear from you pat .  I feel as you do . As long as I can cling on to not having to need a drink first thing in the morning , or get withdrawal symptoms when I don't drink . I think I am not an alcoholic .  But it's just a label , I am alcohol dependant . I can do a few days without it but when I start drinking I can't stop . Whence being on this forum and on selicron .  I really hope with the help of this forum and the tablet I can control it . That's all I want to do , a few drinks after work and just being able to say no I have had enough 😃 that's my goal 
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 kathryn_06555

      Posted

      I am sure you will reach your goal, Kathryn.  I am worse than you, I can't go a day without having a drink in the evening.  It's just such a strong habit with me.  I don't drink till I am drunk, usually only 5 to 8 units, just enough to get me to forget my troubles and let me sleep.

      Anyway, I will be watching out for you and keeping you in my thoughts, you sound like a very switched on, intelligent person, I am sure you will reach your goal.

      Above all else, be happy and don't waste the precious time you have here on earth.

      Pat xxxxx

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