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Am I depressed?

Posted , 4 users are following.

richard61401
richard61401

I'm not really sure what is wrong with me but this is how I feel. I'm not really where I want to be in life. I work for someone else when I would love too work for myself. I'm in debt through my own stupidity even thow I have that in check now. I'm still renting when I want to buy a house. I have two kids and a partner who I constantly feel like I'm failing. I realise that no one can change my circumstances but me but I don't know where to begin. My thoughts constantly hold me down. I get up and feel like an empty vessel. Just sit there in a daze. And on work days I wake up and don't want to get up for work and have screening of dread. I just want to be happier. I have had meds before and didn't like the side effects form them. I've never had the confidence to take new chances in life to improve my life at work etc. I'm extremely good at my job but constantly fear messing it up. I feel sorry sick every time I need to see my boss. I'm certainly jealous of friends who appear happier or doing better than me. I just want to start making things happen for myself and my family but I don't know where to start. I don't feel like I'm living at the moment. Just flying by on auto pilot. Does anyone have any answers?

Regards

Richard.

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • rachna36991
    rachna36991 richard61401

    Posted

    Hello Richard, hope you go better. My husband has been telling me same lately as we are going to financial crisis as well. I would advice you not to compare your life with others, this will make you even more depressed. Everyone has their own achievement and path and am sure you too you have have something for which people envy you. 

    We all have our bad moments and low energy. Life routine is a silent killer for most of us and it will be good if you can have a break, just tk your kids and partner for a small vacation for some time. 

    You have your dream of starting your business smile, that is very good, work for it. AM sure you will find a way to it, live to make it happen. We have only one life, lets surf on its waves and live it to the fullest despite our problems.

    Best of luck. Wish you lots of happiness

  • laura11452
    laura11452 richard61401

    Posted

    Here is some questions to ask yourself

    Is your debt all cleared?? If not there is no point at this moment in time thinking of buying..Maybe on down the line..

    Your really good at your job but sounds like your a perfectionist and put a lot of pressure on yourself...You just need the confidence to believe in yourself..Can you take what your good at and start on your own if you had the option??

    Why do you want to be like your friends??

    Your an individual person that has his own personality and with your own unique qualities..

    Do not be fooled at your friends being happier than you..We are all very good at hiding how we feel..

    Happiness is fleeting and if we where happy all the time we would not appreciate the good times..

    How about going on a course to build your confidence up??

    If you really feel low or depressed it sounds like its coming from you beating yourself up 24/7..If your unable to get you mood lifted it wouldn't do any harm to speak to a doctor..

    You sound like a lovely guy that genuinely is concerned for his family and doing the best you can at this present moment in time..We all get into debt so easy to do these days.. Your sorting it and that is a positive..

     

    • richard61401
      richard61401 laura11452

      Posted

      Yeah I have still got debt but I'm on a debt management plan with two years remaining. I went to docs last week and they just seem to want to stick you on meds. I'm going to try and talk to someone if I can but I don't want my boss to think I'm having a meltdown and can't do my job. I'm a supervisor at work. I want to start up on my own but I can't until I'm out of debt plus I don't have the confidence to do it. I do put too much pressure on myself. I wish I could just not feel so scared of everything all the time. Thank you for your reply.
    • laura11452
      laura11452 richard61401

      Posted

      Your debt is bound to be causing you stress on top of a family and every day life is not always easy..

      Your a supervisor and you didn't get there from lack of confidence and not be capable..

      Take a day at a time Richard and wait until the debt is sorted ( thousands upon thousands are in debt).. Look into some areas of where you think you might be able to get up and running on your own.. You have two years to do some homework and when your debt is sorted you can make decisions..

      Your not having a meltdown you are just having a rough patch..

      Yes talking to someone would be good.. 

      Maybe look into where to ask advise in starting on your own..

    • richard61401
      richard61401 laura11452

      Posted

      Hopefully if I speak to someone they can advice me how to build enough confidence to go forward. I have just got over testicular cancer too. But I felt like this before that happened. I think it has just triggered it again or made it worse. I feel like a magnet for bad luck. My friends who I'm envious of are in the same line of work and I feel that they have excelled above me because they have gone on to work for themselves. I'm going to try to find the strength to get well
    • laura11452
      laura11452 richard61401

      Posted

      Wow give yourself a break Richard you have just got over testicular cancer that is enough to cause you to feel low...Your friends didn't have to deal with all that..

      .Its not that you attract bad luck.. I have found the strongest people seem to get a rough deal now and again..But they always come out the other end of it.. The ones that get life easy find it much harder to cope when things go wrong..

      I have also found the people that really really give a damn about life, their job and people etc etc.. Seem to get low moods at times but have the fight to get back up..

      You will get well again Richard you have been through a tough journey and back at work..Jesus give yourself a pat on the back..

    • richard61401
      richard61401 laura11452

      Posted

      Thank you for your words. I feel a bit daft now after reading your reply for being so hard on myself. It was a huge thing to get over. I definitely need to take one day at a time.
    • laura11452
      laura11452 richard61401

      Posted

      Please don't feel daft..I am a perfectionist as well and forget to be kind to myself..

      Wish you all the best Richard..

  • Jenny-66
    Jenny-66 richard61401

    Posted

    Hi Richard,

    Good on you for simply wanting to do the best for your family. There are plenty that don't. I am sure if you asked your family they would be happy with how you provide for them. Owning your own home, whilst considered an achievement in life, should not be considered above providing a loving home, which sounds to me like you definitely do. 

    Your story seems similar to ours. My husband had testicular cancer in 2009. It was advanced and he needed 3 operations and chemotherapy. He spent a lot of time in hospital that year and our finances, already at stretching point, were very bad so that we had to declare bancrupcy that year. It was a very stressful year and we thought we'd never own our own home or get out of the cycle of debt.

    7 years later (and it only seems a short time) we are back at a point where we can get credit again, easily, and we now feel we could get a mortgage at some point. Life DOES get better and your finances will improve. 

    I truly believe that many people's lives, marriages, finances etc are not always as they appear. We are great deceivers and your own pals that you envy at the moment might be having the very same problems.

    You're extremely good at your job so I am sure, at the right time, you will make that break into your own business. Perhaps whilst you are paying off your debts you could spend the time looking into all the ins and outs of owning your own business and speak with small business advisors. Perhaps this will give you the confidence you need. 2 years will fly by. 

    • richard61401
      richard61401 Jenny-66

      Posted

      Thank you Jenny for your reply. It sounds like you have had it hard and I know how you feel in terms of the cancer. I'm an impatient person at the best of times. And I hear what your saying about the future should bring better things. I need to find a way to get these negative thoughts out of my head. It is early days after the cancer. And I think I'm just really keen to get back on track. When the debt is payed off and my youngest is at school my partner will be working and we will be in a better position. Then I can look at getting a van and going on my own. I just need to keep positive. Hopefully this therapist will help me with that
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