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Anxiety after spouse's young death for myself and our daughter

Posted , 3 users are following.

vetfer
vetfer

I would please like some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. I got married in 2010 and me and my wife had our daughter in 2009, my wife died in 2011 she was 21. I have been bringing up my daughter since, she is 6 next week. 

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • vetfer
    vetfer

    Posted

    The above submitted before I could explain further, I put on weight, pulled myself away from family, then got diagnosed with anxiety and depression, i take venlafaxine and diazepam, and on other tablets for things, then got physically ill with a chest issue. All at the same time as bringing our little one up. The anxiety is worse between 12-3 for some reason, but my panicking and behavior changes are known to most of the people who know me. I feel as if no one understands. Can anyone offer advice on what I can do to help myself and my daughter??
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 vetfer

    Posted

    I am so, so very sorry for your loss...it sounds as though you are in need of some support...could you find out if there are any bereavement support groups....you really need to open up to someone, and be very, VERY proud of what you have achieved...I wish you a happy future, full of happy memories.....warm hugs to you...Deirdre xx
    • elis60746
      elis60746 vetfer

      Posted

      Hi. You must have had a tough time. What is the cause of her death if I may ask? My anxiety started when I lost my dad almost 3yrs ago. It was very hard for me cause I was a daddy's girl. Losing him was the thing I feared the most, but when I did, I tried to find a few things that I can be thankful for everyday that gives me hope to go on and live. As for you, you know your daughter needs you so make that a motivation for you to just keep living life. I know it's a long orocess, but I'm sure you'll eventually get better. We will all get better. Best of luck and I wish you a happy life.
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 vetfer

    Posted

    Tempting to say you are experiencing a broken heart which is so very sad. I wish for you happiness and the very best life can bring. God bless you and keep loving your daughter as your wife would want this. You might be best to go to grief counseling. Doesnt matter how much time passed. You need to try your best to live in the present moment and heal.heal from her passing and heal from all expectations of what you thought or how you thought your life was suppose to play out. This is no easy task and as heartbreaking as this sounds you need to let go of your wife as she is an angel now and would want only happiness and love for you and your daughter. Somehow maybe one day you can remarry and enjoy life again. Anxiety or ptsd  is different for each person and i dont know what time your wife passed or what times it was hardest on her or you that anxiety occurs between 12-3 somehow i believe there is a connection there. Many wont understand but even if they did it wont remove the pain or saddness you feel. You have to properly work through all your emotions and accept life as god has decieded it should be. Your daughter really needs a Dad, a stable happy Dad so she can grow up feeling loved and happy as she has only you as a parent now. Dont be afraid to let go, holding onto to the pain isnt good and wont change whats going on. The pain and anxiety in an odd  way might comfort you as you are somehow keeping the whole sitaution alive but its not productive at all. Letting it go and understanding one day youll meet in heaven again and that your wifes in heaven and wants you to be happy would really benefit your anxiety and quality of life.you are allowed and deserving  to become happy, you are allowed to fall in love again and one day will. I think theres a lot of hurting and pain and saddnss maybe some guilt in your heart and it is very sad but its really hurting your quality of life and god did bless you with knowing her and a beautiful daughter.all easier said then done but a journey you need and should make for you and your daughter future happiness.May God bless you and give you all the strength you need to get through this. Time has stood still long enough.
  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 vetfer

    Posted

    Good morning Vetfer.....

    I hope that you managed to sleep a little...and both

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 vetfer

    Posted

    Hi again vetfer, I hope that both yourself and your precious daughter are well today....Have you managed to sleep, and are you eating....I have been thinking what could help you with your sadness....there are a few things.....

    Bereavement counselling.....

    Widowers support group......

    Help with your depression......

    I realize that it will NEVER EVER be easy for you or your lovely daughter, but your wife would want you both to be happy, I believe that our loved ones are always with us, and watching over us

    ..please young man,...try and get some help from somewhere

    .you deserve to feel better and you will NEVER, EVER, ever forget your wife, as your daughter will never forget her mother....hugs to you both young man...never give up....Deirdre xx

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 vetfer

    Posted

    Hi vetfer..i really am sorry young man..try not to be upset please....I can talk to you on here....I will. Always answer your posts...please, try to have a good night's sleep..

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 vetfer

    Posted

    Dear young man, please, please take very , VERY good care of yourself...you are truly in my thoughts and prayers.....big hugs to you .....Deirdre xxxxxx
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