Anxiety over mouth cancer worries. Panic and paranoia ruining my life

Hello, I have just joined this site. Although I have been a frequent visitor to the forums for some years now. This may be slightly long but I would just like to speak about it without frustrating my partner and family (they're sick of my constant panicking) and maybe get some clarity. I don't know anyone else in my life with such awful anxiety so it's very difficult to get people to understand how my mind races.

I'm not sure where to begin so I'm just going to type as honestly as possible.

I am a 21 year old female, I have been a fairly heavy smoker since I was 14, although I quit cigarettes over a year ago, I have continued to smoke weed with tobacco mixed in. My lifestyle is pretty awful especially recently. I fear the outdoors sometimes and therefore find myself sitting on the couch most days, for the majority of day, during summer especially. I have a bad habit of frantically googling every little pain I have until I'm in an awful anxious state.

Around two weeks ago, my problem started. I tend to slouch extremely low when sitting on the couch and my general posture is terrible. I began to get a headache only on the top right side of my head, which worried me as I never suffer headaches. I then made a habit of leaning my hand on the side of my face while playing video games, to try and stop myself from slouching and try heal my headache. After around 3 days of repeating this leaning action for hours at a time, my cheek/jaw joint started to burn slightly. I also noticed that I was clenching my jaw pretty hard (due to physically pressing my bottom jaw up from leaning on it). Assuming I'd irritated my face, I stopped touching it. However, the pain did not go away. I waited a week and visited my GP (who I've just met as I've just moved city). She said the burning sensation and tense pain, along with my slight fever of 37.5 would suggest a gland infection (although there was no visible swelling). She prescribed me amoxicillin (500mg 1 3 times a day for 7 days).

I am now on day 4 of my course and I feel terrible. The pain is still in my right cheek/jaw but has spread to the underside of my jaw, the left side and throat. The pain is a mixture of burning, aching, pinching and shooting and extends from the back of my jaw to the bottom, to the back of Mt throat. My tongue has also been burning. All of this pain begins from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, all day long with no relief. I have had tonsilitis before and it's nothing like it and my tonsils aren't swollen or inflamed. Sometimes the pain creeps up my ears and eyes too but not often.

If the pain wasn't worrying my enough, the doctor pointed out a small white spot on my tonsil. Since then I've been checking my mouth every day and swear I can see more spots and lumps, although they could maybe just be normal mouth texture, I can't help but think it's cancer.

My mother had sarcoma when she was young and had half her arm removed. My gran has skin cancer, and my papa died of throat and lung cancer.

I haven't smoked anything in 2 weeks. I also want to add that I have been under immense stress recently. My partner was diagnosed with crohns disease a few months ago after an appendix operation. He's only 25 and now on so many pills that he sleeps most of the day. I want to be there for him but my anxiety won't even allow me to think straight.

The best way I can describe the pain at this very moment is - the feeling you get in your jaw just before you vomit. Tense, painful and burny. I have rubbed movelat gel all over my shoulders, neck and face and have slight relief, although the pain inside my mouth is still there. I worry that I will have tongue cancer and have to have my tongue and bottom jaw removed. I am convinced I'm going to hear the worst news. My panic attacks over this pain are ruining my life, I tremble, I tense, I clench my teeth, I cannot eat. I have no interest in even watching TV or playing games, or making art (which usually helps my panic). I have done nothing for 2 weeks but shake and fear for my life. Please help, and i'm so sorry this was so long and might not make much sense.

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