Posted , 81 users are following.
I've never posted anything like this before. I'm 29 and I work in a high-pressure, insular industry. For about 6 months now my self confidence has deteriorated to the point where I ruminate every single moment of the day about how I am perceived by others. Every time I make a mistake I want to cry, I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself all day long, like I can't get anything right and like I'm a total waste of space. I've lost almost all my friends, (not through lack of trying - I'm always the last one to reach out) which I'm pretty sure is because I'm so nervous, awkward and always say the wrong thing. I can't get through one day without doing something stupid and kicking myself over it later, everyone around me seems so smart and together and they must think I'm such a mess. The people I have left I'm worried will see how I'm changing, and won't be around much longer. I try and push myself to go out but I'd really rather just be alone so nobody can judge me. I can't see an end to this feeling, I used to always be myself and screw the consequences, I had friends and I was sure that I was a good person with a bright future but now I care so much what's being thought of me I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I can't be inside my own was anymore, especially as I hate my stupid self so much. I want to be successful but I can't get past this weirdness that puts everyone off. And it's not just myself I feel this way about, I can't help but think negatively about everyone. I'm pretty sure my mind is playing tricks on me, but part of me thinks maybe I'm finally seeing myself and everything the way it really is. I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop. I've been to the doctor and I'm having counselling but it's not helping at all. What should I do? Am I going crazy? I really worry that I'm going to lose myself completely! I don want to waste anyone's time but I had to get some of this out of my head.
13 likes, 81 replies
sunset17
Posted
It took a lot of effort for me to believe that I wasn't going crazy and to convince me that I was unwell and to encourage to talk to a doctor and get help.
It is great that you have been to your GP about this, well done . How long have you been receiving counselling? If it has not been that long then stick with it, it may still work for you. However, if you know that it definately isn't working for you then go back to your GP and tell them this, because counselling isn't right for everyone and there may be something else that could help you. Are you taking any medication?
Please go back to see your GP and tell them that you are not happy with how the counselling is going, maybe write down everything you have written down so they can understand how you are feeling, this is what I do at my appointments because when I'm in the appointment I get nervous and forget to say all the things that I wanted to say.
Do not worry, you are not wasting anyone's time, there are lots of people who want to help you .
ana98035
Posted
Rubysparks
Posted
I am in exactly the same situation!
I have cut off from all my friends and find that I make excuses if anyone asks me to go out with them shopping or for coffee because I fear that I will be lost for words or make the situation awkward. I constantly overthink things which makes my anxiety a lot worse. I have tried self help books over the years and nothing seems to help. I was prescribed medication 3 days ago (Citalopram 10mg which is for depression and anxiety) I got to the stage where I was so low that everything feels pointless and I dont enjoy anything I do and so medication was my last resort. I am hoping the antidepressants help because I really cannot live like this, I feel like I am wasting my life. I am 24.
I hope you speak with your doctor and get the help you need, if you need to talk I am here.
Ruby
backey09531 Rubysparks
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sweetspice backey09531
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ann55375 Rubysparks
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ann55375 Rubysparks
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heather70774 ann55375
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I think people reach out to this site but don't ever get back on. I wish it can just go to your email if someone wants to talk. I was researching how my son feels Im sorry you feel this way hopefully someone will respond keep your head up You are a good person and everyone has a meaning in life I stress for my son to get help and he doesn't want to be on medicine 😔
Rubysparks
Posted
My results came back clear which is why I was then prescribed Citalopram.
Ruby
sunset17
Posted
I have never suffered from depression or serious anxiety before so all of this is new to me, but at the moment I think I am doing ok. I just take one day at a time, some days can be good and others bad, but I have learnt not to expect to be better overnight and I think it takes a lot of effort to push yourself to do what it takes to get better.
I understand how you feel about only wanting to take medication as a last resort, I was like that too. Then my depression and anxiety rapidly worsened to a point where I was in desperate need of help. I started citalopram in November, but my GP has changed me to Mirtazepine this week because I was still having problems with insomnia. I agree that you should only take medication if you really need it, which unfortunately some of us do. When I think back to how I was in November I do think that I have improved, although I can't be certain this is due to the anti-depressants. I hope you can start to feel better soon too.
I am still waiting to receive any sort of counselling, I do have quite negative views about it working for me but I think I am still going to give it a go, I hope it helps.
Good luck when you go back to see your GP .
shallanamnell ana98035
Posted
When I went to see my GP, they first recommended me for counselling (which let me talk but didn't help much).  Then they recommended me a course of Cognative Behavioural Therapy which turned out to be really useful.  It helped me start to realise that the way I feel isn't my fault and that it's an illness, rather than I'm intrinsicly a bad person.  It meant that I didn't have to take medication (I agree that I only want that as a last resort!), because it gave me practical ways to deal with things. If you want a taste of what it's like then look here
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=46
But the thing that really helped was working through exercises like that with a professional - the exercises seem easy but they're really not. Â You have to fully commit to them before they work
It wasn't perfect and I still have bad days (today might be one), especially now I'm living abroad where CBT isn't available. Â But I thought it might give you another option if you were still feeling bad and let me get the fact that I'm still feeling anxious off my chest!
Shallan
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Geosell ana98035
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charmaine79833 ana98035
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cam17522 ana98035
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Hummingbird1 cam17522
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Complete loss of focus
Always wandering mind
Obstructive thinking
Lost soul
Worthlessness
Lack of energy from within
Negativity
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