Been a while...Karen..Katecogs

Thank you! My name on here before was Nicole and I just realized it said Dengirl odd lol. So I'm not sure if you remember me or not. Is it normal to have one of these after being on the meds so long. I've done fine most of the day but once again tonight I've got anxiety for some reason...maybe because of last night and being scared of a relapse. I guess I worry it's postpartum coming... Ugh it just feels never ending. I did have a lot of anxiety yesterday bc my daughter got her 4 month shots and then last weekend I had a couple drinks and I hadn't drank in over 2 years. Should I increase my dosage? I've been on 10 mg since Dec...I'm just so frustrated and hate to start over. Last night literally felt like day one.

Yes I remember you Nicole 😄❤️

So you've been kind of ok on the 10mg?  Then had this relapse yesterday?  It can still happen yes, and it's just another blip to pass through.  It could have been due to having a drink maybe or feeling anxious due to baby's injections ....... lots of things can make the anxiety rear its ugly head again, but that won't always happen.  The further along you get on the meds, the less these blips happen.

Fluoxetine 10mg?  Mmmm it's quite a low dose still so it could be an increase might push you that little bit more to feeling really well.  Have a chat with your doctor, and maybe you could increase it by the tiniest amount again if you're concerned about the side effects.  

Yes sometimes blips can feel like you're back at the beginning.  It doesn't mean that you're ill again as at the start, just that you're having a normal relapse.  If you try and relax towards it instead of tensing and fighting it, you'll find it'll be short lived and it'll disappear again.  I know easier said than done and remember my frustrations too.

How have you been otherwise on the meds (before this blip).  Feeling great, just ok or not much change?  If you've been feeling good and then maybe stay on your current dose, but if you've not had much change (plus this blip) then maybe up your dose?

When I recovered I had blips all through the recovery process, but they got less frequent as time went by, but still had the occasional one maybe a year after recovering?  It wasn't a bad one, as they do peter out.

K x

I was doing good since I had the baby. I guess I hadn't realized how well I've been until I had that relapse Friday night. Yesterday I spent the day cleaning and running errands just trying to keep my mind off it. I went to bed early last night and slept well. I did start running again last week. I'm going to schedule an appt with the therapist and give it a week. If I'm not better I'm going to try to increase to 15mg. So frustrating just 2 weeks ago I was wanting to start decreasing my dosage to try to come off of it. I just don't want it to be postpartum coming because I worried about it before. I appreciate all of your advise! It's so encouraging.

Ah, if you've been doing since having the baby then I'm sure you'll return to this state once more.  You may have just overdone it a bit without realising it.  Don't rush about cleaning when feeling like this, as that just gives you tension, but instead try and clean in a relaxed manner - let it be there, let the thoughts come, but remind yourself that it is only temporary and it's a part of recovery, and that it WILL go again.

Having it come back shocks the body and we instinctively rush around trying to escape from it, trying to forget ..... but we can't.  Instead relaxing towards it is the key, as well as reminding yourself this is still recovery.  

Dont give yourself a timescale of getting rid of the blip in a week, as that just gives you tension - let it take as long as it wants.  Relaxing towards it will help it on its way.

Remember you will get blips during recovery, and sometimes being tired, over stretching yourself too soon before you're ready can just tip the balance.

Dont be in a rush to come off the meds either.  There's no harm to stay in them until you've had a really, really long time feeling well.  I read that staying in the meds for a good year will help ensure the illness doesn't return.

You can stay on them for life if you need to (so my doctor said).

K xx

Thank you! I've been doing well today but I've noticed as the evening goes on I'm getting a little anxious. I guess because it happened the other night when I went to bed. Is it normal to have such a big blip? It was pretty bad or maybe my anxiety made it seem much worse. I'm praying that I recover soon. Did you ever do therapy also? I haven't but I'm thinking I should?!?

Strangely when I had mine, I used to be anxious in the morning and well by the evening - so other way round.

Yes it's normal to have the occasional big blip.  It can feel big because you've forgotten how they felt, so having one can feel quite shocking.

Maybe you're feeling the anxiety in the evening because you're associating it with the big panic you had when going to bed.  That's also the time to practice relaxing towards it, letting it be there, float along and up to bed.  Maybe have a warm drink, read, then snuggle down to sleep.  It will pass and you'll start feeling ok again.

Yes I did have therapy a long time ago, and even tried hypotherapy.  Personally, nothing worked for me except the medicine.  I read lots, and the books that did it for me were by Dr Claire Weeks.  She talks about setbacks on the way to recovery, relaxing and floating along, explained what was happening to the body - all which made perfect sense to me, and took the mystery out of it all me, and that's what I still base recovery on.

However, therapy is good, and is something worth thinking about.  It will help a great deal and attack the anxiety from a different angle, whilst the meds do their part.  

Yes you should give it a try - it won't do any harm.

K xx

Bother

Just posted my reply to you and is says its waiting to be moderated.  Have no idea why as there's no web addresses, emails, reference to anything.  Maybe a typo put a swear word? lol

Lol hopefully it comes through. Do you think exercise could be causing it? I know it sounds strange but after going for a walk yesterday when I went to bed my anxiety was bad again? 😫 I'm not sure if would mess with the neurotransmitters.

Ah ha, my other post has appeared now 😄

I would say no, I don't think the exercise is causing it as exercising helps to burn excess adrenalin and in turn the anxiety, and it releases endorphins helping us feel good ..... on the other hand, our bodies do weird things at times.  Maybe see how you feel one evening when you don't exercise?  I do think though your body is subconsciously rembembering the panic you felt one evening.

K x

Bad morning of anxiety I woke up late for work which thru me into a panic then I hadn't ate and drank coffee. Intrusive thoughts overlaid so sad this is happening again.

Overload*

If you don't mind me asking how bad your anxiety and depression was? I feel like maybe mines to bad and I'll be dealing with this forever.

Hi

Sorry I didn't reply yesterday to your previous post, was out all day.

My anxiety and depression were bad, really bad.  I was plagued daily with intrusive, obsessive thoughts which produced awful anxiety, and in turn I was very depressed.  Every day was a struggle, I cried many, many tears over the years ...... I didn't live, I just existed.  I had it for 15 years ....... though had about 3 years here and there in between when I was better - this was when I met my husband (excitment of a new love no doubt) and when we got married (again the excitement of it all).  The day after we were married it all came back.  I could feel it creeping back, and was powerless to stop it.  Subconsciously it may have been the thought I had nothing exciting to look forward to anymore??  It made me realise though, that sheer happiness certainly made the illness go away as no doubt serotonin was probably in abundance which made me happy.  These meds hang onto your serotonin before being reabsorbed into the brain, making you feel happier, which relieves all those awful symptoms.  When I started the meds I just thought they were yet another anti depressant and had no idea I would recover, so was amazed when things started happening.  During the years being ill I read lots about it, and found the Dr Weeks books just seemed to fit.  When I recovered, her books made even more sense to me.

Having bad anxiety in the morning isn't always an indication how the rest of the day will be.  I'm sure early morning anxiety on waking is just your body suddenly remembering 'oh no, here we go again' and it sort of shocks the body ...... hence the anxiety.

I used to get bad anxiety in the mornings, but when I started on these meds and they eventually started working, I'd still get dreadful morning anxiety but noticed as the day wore on it would ease and I'd feel OK by the evening.  It was a good 6 months in the meds when I started waking with no anxiety.

As I recovered I went through blips.  I felt well for a few weeks then wham it would hit me again.  I didn't know they were blips, didn't know how these meds worked and I got scared each time thinking it was back for good.  But slowly but surely the good feeling would return each time, and I got stronger and happier after each blip.  When I began eventually waking with no anxiety I knew I was well and truly going to recovery and stay recovered.

When my son became ill 2 years ago with the same illness, it was heartbreaking knowing what a nightmare he was going through.  I did feel thankful though I'd had the experience so I could help him.  It was a very painful time for us all watching him suffer (my little boy) ...... but 9 months later he came through it all.

My son took Fluoxetine and I took Citalopram.  Both are SSRI's.

I trusly believe and trust in these meds.  I've seen so many posts on here who go through exactly the same as I had done.  Some people get better quicker than others, some take much, much longer, and some find one medication is better than another.

I've seen a few people swap to Escitalopram and had better results.  Apparently is works quicker and has less side effects (only what I've read).

Its a long rough ride to recovery, but I believe everyone will find it eventually.

K xx

 

Hey Nicole, sorry to hear you're having some rough days. I haven't been on here for a few weeks and just saw your post. I think Kate is right. If you have been feeling well for several months, it is probably just a blip and will pass.  I have been doing well overall, but I do have a few days a month where I feel somewhat depressed and a little anxious, then a few flat days, but overall, I am doing pretty good. Give it a few days and if you are still having bad anxiety, you might want to talk to the doctor about it. Keep us posted.

Karen

Hi Katecogs,

I hope you still get on here. I've been having a few bad days. Is it normal to do this? It's been about 4 months since the last time. I feel so down but I also just had my menstrual cycle which I know I kinda get down during. My question is did you have blips this far into it. I have been good for 4 months. I also have a 9 month old? Maybe ppd? I'm not sure if you remember me being pregnant on here. I've been on Prozac since March 2015 I took 5 mg while pregnant. I've been taking 10 since Dec 2015. So aggravated I was doing well I even was thinking of coming off the meds last week. 😭

Hi Karen,

I just wanted to check in and see how your doing! I hope all is well! 😊