Behavior issues in 6 yr old

Hello. I'm looking to find some advice for my 6 year old son and his behavior issues. I'm desperate at this point, and need any advice I can get. Alittle background first--he's the oldest of 3 kids. I have a 2.5 year old with Down syndrome, and an almost 4 year old on the autism spectrum. He is a "typical" child development wise, and is great in school and making friends and all that. But lately he has become extremely hateful, aggressive and angry. Emotions seem to just consume him every minute of the day now. He could be acting completely fine and then he will do something that needs some correction and he will suddenly either burst in to tears and run away, or he will get really angry and scream at me and try to fight with me or whine and argue. There is no in between. He's usually either bouncing off the walls with energy, really sad and crying, or angry and extremely aversive and yelling. It breaks my heart and makes me so frustrated inside because I don't know how to handle this or fix it.

Me and my ex husband separated over a year ago and since then there have obviously been a lot of household and family changes. He sees his dad once on the weekday and then every other weekend, which I know is a devastating change from seeing him every single day and him living at our home where he was accessible anytime. I know the divorce has played a roll in his problems. My parents divorced when I was his age as well, so I know how he feels. But I also don't recal lashing out the way he does. He doesn't respect me, doesn't listen, doesn't care. He has started saying bad words and will try to say the "F" word almost everyday. I will put him in timeout and he will scream "you're the worst f***ing mom in the world!!!!!" . Yesterday he was mad at me and told me that his life would be so much easier if I was gone.

I try reward charts, consequence jars, allowances, treats, etc to try to get us on a good path to good behavior and organization...it sometimes works for a bit but then he just says he doesn't care about any chart or reward and starts acting out again.

I feel so lost, so unorganized, and so hurt and confused. I don't know how to handle it. If I let him, he will argue back and forth with me for hours. It's draining. I know it drains him too.

Someone, please help me out. His behavior on top of already having two other kids with special needs really takes a toll on me sometimes. would love some advice. Thank you for listening

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