I just want to die
Posted , 11 users are following.
I'm 16 and I'm so unhappy, I have ocd, depression and anxiety, I feel that life is way too long and I am sick to death of feeling suicidal, I told myself that if my depression doesn't go in half a year im going to kill myself, I don't see the point anymore, my life is just going downhill anyway, no ones helping me, even though they try, I know that I'll be happier on the other side, I can't wait till im old so I'll die soon, what did I do to deserve to feel this way? And I know that depression can be genetic, so I freak out about being older and having kids and my kids feeling the way I do now. My mum is my bestfriend, she thinks that I don't want to die anymore, she doesn't worry about me anymore but I'm so close to committing suicide but I just can't be bothered, I really can't explain how I feel, I feel dead inside, I wish I was dead but I don't know how to kill myself, I've been to hospital many times for taking overdoses and I've tried strangling, drowning and cutting myself, but nothing works?! Or maybe im just not trying hard enough:'(
1 like, 30 replies
marshall71 anastasia1998
Posted
It broke my marriage up trying to cope with it my ex wife had enough and she kick me out I lost my house too.
I know how you feel I do sometimes feel what's the point anymore ? But hurting other people stopped me every time I live with chronic pain which gets me down I have enough painkillers to do it but I never will.
anastasia1998 marshall71
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marshall71 anastasia1998
Posted
I'm glad you have talked on here said what you want to do with your life if I can help one person I feel so much better with myself I'm been down before maybe all my life as depression is in the family my mother has it and I watched her suffering as a young child.
Your young your whole life is in front of you I say to myself it won't beat me I won't let it
It not easy nothing is in this world we are all here for a short time.
It's coming up to Christmas and I really don't like it any more my father died 13 years ago I also watched him suffering in the hospital then he died at home.
Stay strong x
anastasia1998 marshall71
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rick45941 marshall71
Posted
Hurting other people is my main concern too. It's so complicated. I just want to be leave this planet. There are so many judgemental people.i feel I will let my loved ones down, but they are the ones most judgemental . I'm a musician and painter but with a lot of social life..ie: girlfriend many v hotrods and , pay all my bills etc. But I vhate myself. Ive tried to many pills to help..they just b make me a zombie.
oli57267 rick45941
Posted
Hey Rick,
My best advice to you, which isn't like the other advice you'll be given is to set yourself goals. Things that you want to achieve in life, then write these down and look at them everyday. I felt the reason I was depressed was because I wasn't getting anywhere. I feel if you write down your life goals, or even goals in the near future it will help you out a lot. You will have a path and a journey of success you're ready to take. You know what you want, and you have a path leading to it.
For example, you might want to go to the gym and bulk up. Anything like this, will help you tremendously in my opinion. Knowing that you're moving forward, and not backwards will be a great help. It gives you something to work towards, and I think having forfillment and achieving something is a good way to remove this barrier that depression creates.
Also write a list of everything amazing you've achieved in your life. Whether you were clever, good at sport, great at music, incredible at art, or whatever else you're great at write them down and read this over EVERY day (along with your future goals).
I think doing this will really help. Feeling you have grinded to a halt, at least in my opinion, is what can cause depression in people (such as what I've had in the past). Hope this can help you, it isn't mainstream advice but certainly works when you feel your life isn't going anywhere.
rick45941 oli57267
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oli57267 rick45941
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Alright, well if current goals seem unimportant then find something that you will find important. Something that you can work towards, and that will keep you going KNOWING that you are moving forward in life. I can't tell you what this is, as it depends what you enjoy, and what your passions are. Although, I think if you can find something to work towards in your life, whether its a fitness goal, improvement at a hobby, or something similar I think you'll see the bright light in the end of the tunnel. If you write your goal that you find out down, and write your previous successes and keep re-reading them sub-conciously you will begin to feel happier - knowing you are moving forward and improving as well as you've been a real success already.
Hope that helps.
celtics anastasia1998
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simon84964 celtics
Posted
jennifee72369 anastasia1998
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UK-Ven-medicate anastasia1998
Posted
I am sorry to hear about your challenges with OCD, Depression and anxiety. Just for one moment think about these things as separate things to work and overcome or control. The trick is to try to take small stable steps and at 16 you have so much more to give.
Your at 16 shouldn't be worrying about having children, and looking at what it is you want to do that makes you happy. when we are severely depressed this is hard as i an many of the people on here know how it feels, and we also know that you can as Dave Gorman says try to make like "a little more goodish", perhaps not perfect but then perfection has its own problems.
At 16 you need to confide in your boyfriend or some one that you really trust. rememeber as well when you feel low there are other on here you can talk to , there is your GP, there is even A & E if need be. I feel so osrry for you as you are obviously worried about your Mum and her feeling about, how you feeling.
Depression for me has meant I got divorced, I miss my kids, I lost my job ( i am now self employed ) as well as having a disability. I treat all four issue in what I call 4 boxes, and I literally have boxes or files that just deal with that issue, no 2 issue cross paths, one at a time always.
Try syphoning your challenges off and only dealing with them separately rather than trying to sort everything on one go , which will mean more stress which in turn will make all your challenges harder.
anastasia1998 UK-Ven-medicate
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UK-Ven-medicate anastasia1998
Posted
I do know sometime thou it can be hard and this week been one of those weeks where I have had 4 different challenges to deall with and I have felt at times like I'm in melt down and while sorting one problem another seems to be getting worse.
anastasia1998 UK-Ven-medicate
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marshall71 anastasia1998
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Really happy for you
UK-Ven-medicate anastasia1998
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xxx