Tramadol - horrendous trap

I was presribed tramadol for a back injury after co-codamol and co-dydramol caused me nothing but severe constipation. I noticed an improvement within an hour of taking the first one. I usually only took four 50 mg a day for two weeks. Just over two weeks after starting them, I made a slight domestic admin blunder and ran out of pills on Sunday 6th November. I didn't really think two much of it - just expected a painful day. I woke up at about 5.00am the following day having had a very disturbing nightmare - trapped underground, being crushed by rock, alone and about to die. I went to work - although I really didn't feel up to it but had a tender that absolutely had to be submitted or jobs would be lost.

Felt paramoid all day - horrible thoughts of people close to me dying and me dying in particular of bowel cancer that I couldn't get out of my head and flashbacks of my trapped underground nightmare. I had a weird smell in my nose although several people I spoke to said that there was no such smell in my office. My GP arranged for me to collect some more pills that afternoon. I got home after one of the most stressful days of my working life, still feeling paranoid, over emotional and obsessed with death. I got into the house and all of the paranoia and emotional fragility that I had been trying to hide at work erupted up and I burst into tears, cyring on my wife's shoulder. I took one of these what I know to be poisonous, treacherous pills but still fet very anxious and preoccupied with death - I started to cry again simply because of the music on that British Airways add effected me so much! I became determined to get this awful stuff out of my system - yes my leg does hurt but physical pain I can handle better than what I would literally call madness. I cut down to two a day and felt reasonable - still over emotional and having intrusive thoughts of death and on Sunday 13th November made a further reduction down to two half tablets.

I felt ok today so tried not to take any - went to bed, feeling tired and pleased with myself that I had got through a day without a pill but couldn't sleep - felt panicky and short of breath. Gave up trying to sleep so thought I would use my time to warn people about this stuff.

I only took 200 mg a day - maybe one day of 300 mg- for less than a month but still have these problems. I consider myself to be quite mentally tough but this is one hell of a challenge that I wasn't prepared for and wouldn't wish on anyone. I have actually booked four days annual leave for next week and intend to take no more pills from the day before leave at the latest

I have just taken one half of a capsule to try and relief the sense of panic and breathlessness - there is nothing physically wrong with my breathing -just feel imagine that I can't catch my breath. If you are reading this and going through this my advice is: try meditation and positive thinking, look at these pills as an enemy to destroy, keep telling yourself that you are not going insane and it will pass

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