1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

On the brink of suicide

Posted , 5 users are following.

lewis35694
lewis35694

Currently sitting on a bench in the hills next to a river, my depression and metal health have deteriorated over the last few months, from sticking screw drivers into my leg, cutting my arm with a saw, bursting my hand open with scissors.

I've cried for help and no one helps, my parter says stop talking about yourself, you only care about yourself, your selfish, everything is about you.

I have turned to drink. Last night I took well.over the prescribed amount, my heart was racing I was having hallucinations, my body kept twitching, right now.I've had 4 30mg and more to.go, with Jack Daniels and cider.

I see no reason to stay here.

I am ready to end it all, I'm half way there.

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 lewis35694

    Posted

    Hello Lewis, Can you get yourself to A & E, you sound very desperate. I hope you don't carry out suicide, i have personal experience of my husband and a nephew commiting suicide. I was left devastated with 2 young children and it effects us years later. Your partner is not the right person to help you at the moment, she is emotionally involved and perhaps doesn't know how to help you. I know i couldn't help my husband because i didn't know how to. Your life is precious thou you don't think so right now. Have you had any form of counselling or medication? Self harming or suicide is not the answer, suicide is final and there is no turning back. Get help now. Ring the samaritians, they are available 24/7 unlike the other mental health services. Monday go to the GP and ask for help, tell them how desperate you are. Please think about your family and the pain left behind. While there is life there is hope. 

    Elizabeth.

  • Digsby
    Digsby lewis35694

    Posted

    Please don't give up all hope just yet. Elizabeth is right - while there is life there is still hope. We often look for help from those who are nearest to us but they can't always give us what we need. Help is available though & the fact that u have posted on here means that u r open to receive help. Please try to think of something positive in ur life rather than all that is wrong at the moment. I have been struggling with suicidal depression for the last 8 months & each day is a struggle. I still seek enjoyment in things I used to enjoy & sometimes it works. Life is hard but it still has good things to offer. Please hold on to it. Let us know how u are getting on. Stay strong buddy. This is the place to vent ur frustration & find non-judgemental support. Good luck!

    Digsby

  • caroleUJ62
    caroleUJ62 lewis35694

    Posted

    Dear Dear Lewis. You are asking for help, so I believe that means you dont really want to kill yourself. I'm not saying you dont feel serious about doing so. I have taken overdoses with alcohol, and was found before I took all the tablets and drink I was going to. I could have died if I wasnt found.   I really glad I didnt. And at some point, if you dont do this you will be do. Please call an ambulance right now and when they arrive tell them everything.
  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 lewis35694

    Posted

    Oh Lewis, I am hoping by now that you have fallen asleep with all the booze and stuff and that after a sleep you will rethink.

    Don't be too hard on your partner....I have had all that said to me too, it's so hard to understand if you have never been ill with depression.  They say things because they don't know what to do and they are worried....especially if you are harming yourself.  Try to imagine being in their shoes.

    You must be getting some sort of professional help if you are in such a bad place...perhaps it's time to ask for more help.

    Anyway, it you decide to go the other half way.....I hope you find happiness and contentment, but I rather think you will find blackness worse than the blackness you are now experiencing.  What a waste of the gift of life we have been given.

    Bless you, I hate the suffering you are going through, my heart aches for you.

    I wish I could hug you,

    Pat.

  • caroleUJ62
    caroleUJ62 lewis35694

    Posted

    What Patricia just said it right. It is a waste of a precious gift.  What pills are you taking. Have you called an ambulance. Can you please just reply to someone on this forum if you are not yet in hospital.   

    When the ambulance arrived for me once - quite recently I did tell them I wanted to die, and they said because of that we have to keep you in hospital till mental health people have seen you. I was then taken to a psychiatric unit. I didnt stay there long, because I convinced them I wasnt suicidal any more. But they will keep you there as long as you need to get get better, and they actually really do care. I mean that from my own experience. I was depressed, but I felt safe there.

    Its the step you need to take to start getting better. 

    Please let us know you are alright. If you dont reply I hope its because you are in hospital now.

  • caroleUJ62
    caroleUJ62 lewis35694

    Posted

    Lewis.

    Can you send a message so we know you are OK.

    I'm really worried about you.

    Carole

     

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.