living death

I feel exactly the same way Jim, I feel literally hollow - occassionally being frustrated that I can't feel much more than that! 

I spend most of my time lying on my bed doing nothing, when I have done things that I used to enjoy (going out, being with friends, walking) I usually feel numb still and if there's people with me then possibly aggitated. 

I wish I could be more helpful and give some advice but, I don't really have any. You're not alone though. 

Yes, I know exactly how you feel

Yeah, felt like that all year. Got ill again in January and was put on rispiridone, which got rid of voices, but made me like a zombie, just smoking and sitting on couch. I came of the antipsychotic as I couldn't stand this low level of existence.

Hello Jim I was like this myself at one time. You sound clinically depressed. I would suggest that you see the GP and reveiw your meds as they may not be working anymore. 

Elizabeth.

Sure i feel this way too and its just because for us, our logic is our god. I though like this for years. I perfected my logic, but as that grew i lost the real sense of feeling. People like us usually dream big, and with our logic we make those dreams look as possible. Thats ok. But look we cuts the spirits. The moment, that single moment of glory, at the end, when the dream would be complete, is what destroys our dreams. We start feeling like we know everything thats going to happen next. Of course we do, cuz its the same way of thinking, everyday. Our lives and thoughts are so rutined and the rutine slowly day by day closes up to a very few things, until even those few things doing them just to show yourself you are alive.

I think i found out a way

Close your eyes, relax and try to imagine as clearly as possible, and to get lost into that what you imagine. Try it, it might do wonders.

Imagine your rutine of thinking and of activities as a light sphere, give it the color you like most. You are a point at the center of the sphere. You see and feel everything that goes on around you. So that sphere is the routine. Now dont fight against it. Make it your friend and make it grow. Let the sphere grow in your imagination, and feel the release. You are not afraid anymore to explore new things. New things are your friends, not your enemy, grow together

I relate to what you have said Jim, and for me it is pretty much the same thing; no emotion or else too much and I can't bear what I feel, no motivation whatsoever, and when I do get out which is rarely I feel so lost, I can not seem to really care about anything any more, life seems so futile, there is little or no pleasure in living. I too have been on different medications over the years for my depression, but lately it is the worst it's ever been. The grief and loss seems to be like a wall I can not get around or over, it is suffocating and I feel worn out by living with it. I too am having trouble wanting to go on this way. It seems so pointless doesn't it?