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New form of self harm?

Posted , 4 users are following.

mami5
mami5

Hi, I've been self harming a certain way for quite a while now, it was a dangerous method and I was, naturally, advised to stop.  I have now stopped doing this, apart from the occassional slip, but instead of just stopping, I've changed to something else.  This is also a dangerous and life threatening method.  I now od as some might know from my post last night.  I've been having DBT since end May/June which prioritise stopping self harming and suicidal thoughts.  Have to admit I have cut down a lot since starting this therapy.  Now though, it just dawned on me, I've been restricting my daily food intake since around this time.  It's now reached a point I only eat one meal a day, in the evenings, and not much then as my stomach has shrunk.  What I'd like to know is, could this be my new form of self harm?  Have I changed from od'ing to starving myself?

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Freelancewriter
    Freelancewriter mami5

    Posted

    Hey there I am not a doctor or professinoal but have a vast knowledge of personality disorders and psychopathology. It sounds to me like you may have a eating disorder, cutting disorder, and possibly BPD (borderline personality disorder) all which are very serious disorders that need professional treatment! It also sounds like you may have been abused and are taking those unresolved feelings (internal shame, angers, etc) out on yourself and you really need to go to the psychology/psychatrist to get  a professional diagnoses and treatment ASAP! This is the only way you will be able to stop this self destructing behavior. I know because I was there one time.  
  • pixie22
    pixie22 mami5

    Posted

    I'm no expert but it appears to me that you could be cutting down on your food intake as a means of controlling what happens in your life. I know what it is like to feel that your life is out of your control. I suggest you talk about it with your therapist.
  • mami5
    mami5

    Posted

    Thank you so much for your replies.  I'm currently seeing a psychologist for DBT and as far as I'm aware of have been diagnosed with anxiety and possibly depression.  I have been abused, by my two ex husbands and find it very hard to trust anyone.
    • Freelancewriter
      Freelancewriter mami5

      Posted

      You are welcome! and glad you got a diagnoses...I wish you the best of luck too. I am sorry to hear about the abuse. I figured as much since you had all the classic signs of abuse...self harming, anxiety,. etc...I was abused also. You really need to resolve these issues and feelings so you can be free of the anxiety and depression and therapy takes a while...there is no quick fix sadly
    • mami5
      mami5 Freelancewriter

      Posted

      Thank you again.  Sorry you've been abused too.  There's too much of it going on.  Had emails of my ex tonight, he's refused to bring my sons over to spend the weekend with me as arranged.  I miss them so much.  He still  controls everything.
  • Freelancewriter
    Freelancewriter mami5

    Posted

    Aww thanks...I am much better now and have healed alot from my past and so will you in time. That is unacceptable! I would get a third party person involved here and the courts if needbe to see your son...that's not right! and he should not be able to do that to you.  
    • mami5
      mami5 Freelancewriter

      Posted

      Thanks for your support once again.  He has two of my sons, 18 and 16, unfortunately too old for courts.  Have been to court in past and I gor residency for all three, but as soon as they reach 16 he convinces them to move in with him.  I'll have two more years with youngest, he's 14.  Breaks my heart.  16yr old only left last Monday and I miss him so much. xx
  • Louisaluvsrio
    Louisaluvsrio mami5

    Posted

    Hope you don't stop having this one meal a day.

    I used to eat a sandwich and then think 'good. Now I can have a drink'.

    You could be fooling yourself that you are doing the right thing. Do you feel hungry at other times?

    • mami5
      mami5 Louisaluvsrio

      Posted

      Hi, I don't feel hungry at all and even have to force myself to eat that one meal. x
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