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Recently diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder

Posted , 4 users are following.

tan77
tan77

Hi everyone..

I am feeling very discouraged. Last night was the first time I have ever seen a psychiatrist and after walking through everything that has been going on since November 2015 I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder.. I just started taking wellbutrin.. which I am terrified to take any medications at all.

I feel very scared and this all started after I was put on sleeping medications Temazepam then Ambien in October 2015. I was on Temazepam for almost two weeks and started to get really anxious and depressed so I stopped taking it. The nurse I was seeing then put me on Ambien and I was on it for about 5 weeks. One day I woke up and I felt absolutely nothing.. AT ALL.

I dont feel love I dont feel happiness or sadness. NOTHING. Everything is so flat and empty.I went form being so over happy and so overjoyed I just got married in September 2015 to the love of my life who is truly my greatest gift. Seriously I was the happiest I have ever been.

I feel nothing I went from being so in love and so happy to feeling none of those feelings.

WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO ME??

am I alone feeling this way. I feel so crazy and I am so afraid I will never be my old loving happy self again.

Please anyone who has more of an idea about this.. I need you and your responses. I am seriously struggling.

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • orange12933
    orange12933 tan77

    Posted

    You are not crazy. You are a human being going through many changes.
    • tan77
      tan77 orange12933

      Posted

      Thank you for replying..

      I guess I just feel so abnormal. How can I go from being happy one day to completely nothingness the next? and how can this feeling of nothing continue?

      This isnt me. I am happy, grateful and I truly love everyone. This isnt normal. Is this part of depression?

  • Digsby
    Digsby tan77

    Posted

    Hi Tan,

    The human body is a complex thing - infinitely wonderful and also very fragile and delicately balanced. Depression is often and imbalance somewhere in the body (usually the brain) which affects our mood, emotions, thoughts and whole personality. We often don't even recognise ourselves and our friends and family notice big changes that we cannot hide from those who know us well. Please don't give up on rediscovering your mojo - it is not gone forever; it's just buried by this condition which is not your fault. Loved ones will sympathise and cut your some slack if you explain how you are feeling. They wouldn't blame you if you said you had flu and weren't feeling yourself. You need a bit of time and space to recover and I believe that with the right combination of medication and therapy you will rediscover your old happy self again because that's who you are deep down. This illness can only mask that - it can't overwrite your personality. It will be a frustrating journey but the more you try to rush it and force a change, the harder and more elusive the way out of this maze could be. Accept it for what it is at the moment - an illness. It doesn't need to define you and you will get better. Stay strong and keep in touch :-)

    • tan77
      tan77 Digsby

      Posted

      Thank you for replying and for being so sweet. Thank you for your insight and perspective. I feel as though my perspective is very tunnel vision due to the depression. I am glad to know not all is lost even if it feels like my world has completely ended. It feels very uncomfortable not understanding how I feel or what I feel. The hardest part has been the lack of feeling love or able to love anyone else. It's so abnormal and yucky to me. I fear that won't ever come back.

      I feel like my depression has gone in phases. First phase was being very upset and scared crying all of the time looking for answers to why I don't feel anything. And now I'm in a weird phase of my depression where I just don't care.. I mean I do and I worry I will be like this forever but it's almost like I don't miss my emotions all of the sudden and my body has given up caring. I just don't understand what's happened to me.

      I am on Wellbutrin and it's been about 2.5 weeks. We will see how that goes. Have you ever felt the way I do?

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 tan77

    Posted

    Hi Tan, maybe the stress of everything has depleted your serotonin levels ? go see a doc about Anti depressants if thats what the psychiatrist also agrees as that may correct (start to correct) any inbalancement in brain chems ? you will once again find happiness and be back to where you were hang in there!!!
    • tan77
      tan77 stevo1975

      Posted

      Hi hi thank you for responding smile thank you I'm trying to hang in there. I have been on Wellbutrin for 2.5 weeks and haven't seen anything happen yet. I see my psychiatrist again in a couple weeks. Something definitely is depleted or wrong because I know for a fact I am not choosing this nor can I choose out of this. sad ugh. You really believe I will be back to the old me? I have faith but it's really hard from one day to the next believing things are going to be okay. The lack of feeling and lack of feelings of love is truly becoming very tough on my marriage. I know I love him. He has been the greatest gift I have ever been blessed with. I just don't feel anything .. Nothing at all. Have you ever felt this way or heard of anything like this?
    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 tan77

      Posted

      Hi Tan,When we are teh vioctim of something tragic we freeze and go into a panic so much like depression we start to lose hope and feel that we will never find the former happiness we had. The good news is that with the help fo mediciene or psychiatrist, other specilist and things like CBT cognitive behaviou therapy  we can live a good life again. I was also like you worried I would never be happy again and that was having an impact on my family howver after 9 months I feel good and hopeful so there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Make sure you force a smile out everyday try to be positive keep saying to yourself you will be ok meds can take a while to properly get into your system also they dont work as quick as a panadol for example smile Take care
  • orange12933
    orange12933 tan77

    Posted

    More people suffer from depression than what you think.
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