My wife is depressed and negative person

Hello Jags, Has your wife been to see her GP? Negative thoughts are part of depression. There are treatments out there and CBT is one of them, this replaces negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Counselling is another treatment where your wife could talk to someone about how she feels. This is non judgemental and confidential. Your wife maybe finding it hard to talk to you as you are both emotionally involved. Medication is another treatment that may help your wife. Try to get her to book that appointment with her GP to disscuss a treatment for her. Be gentle with her explain you want her to get better.

Hope this helps.

Elizabeth.

Hi Jags, Yes, it's tough for the partner of someone who sees all the things in the world that they do not like. Someone whose eyes are open to all the things people do wrong and all the things that can go wrong gets labelled in various ways. We all need to know that the world is not ours and nothing has to be as we want it. I think Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) counselling can help some people to come to terms with these thngs in life. And, of course, there are many medications that can be tried if the GP dagnoses depression and/or anxiety. I do hope she will see a nice GP, for both your sakes. You are clearly a good husband but it is demanding on you both. Best wishes to both.

Hi, Jags.  I know what you are dealing with.  I've dealt with family members who are depressed all of my life.  I'm sure my Mother was clinically depressed or even bipolar but it was undiagnosed.  I'm married to a man who comes from a long line of depressed and suicidal family, even a couple succeeded, and he is very negative and angry and raging and self medicates with alcohol.  He has chronic severe back pain and is now compounding it with pain pills like Oxy and Hydrocodone.  My son was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, as I have been in the past myself, and took meds for it and then drank on top of it.  Tragically he died in a motor cycle accident due to his intoxication and toxicity levels.  I feel so much guilt sometimes that I could not do more to help but you can only do so much and the person has to be a willing participant in their own treatment.  And my sister is diagnosed clinically depressed and is on medication.  So you see, I'm very familiar with it.  No amount of talking to any of these people seemed to help and the only way you can reach them is by getting them some PROFESSIONAL help.  I worked through my issues with biofeedback because I didn't like the way meds made me feel after a while.  I also talked to a therapist but be warmed, you need a really good one.  Some just want to push pills at you and do little else and that is like putting a bandaide on a broken arm!  It's lazy medical care.  So I know what you are going through though.  Currently, my sister is really getting worse with her negativity and constantly seeing everything in the world as bad.  Even if something good happens right in front her, she dismisses it and finds the negative aspect. 

I have chosen to be positive as possible, realize what my anxiety is and know that medicating myself will only damage my ability to rationalize and use cognitive thinking against my bad feelings.   I feel that this brings on more positive than negative because you can't fix the world anyway so you have to look out for yourself and try to focus on the good even though that's difficult at times.  She is judgmental, blabby to total strangers and can get angry for no reason.  She difficult to be around because having a conversation with someone so negative brings me down too.  She's the spitting image of my mother so it definitely runs in families. 

So my advice to you is the same as the other good advice here and that is get her in to a good therapist ASAP.  And don't let them just shove meds at her because even though those might work great at first, it's not a permanent fix.  Some of them actually can cause symptoms to get worse or even suicidal so drugs aren't the entire cure.  As long as they are used to get her to a good place without putting her in a loopy fog just to mask the symptoms is not the answer. 

I know what you are going through and I wish you the best.