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Is there any hope for me?

Posted , 4 users are following.

AlwaysDavis
AlwaysDavis

Hello. Im feeling very crazy. Im diagnosed with OCD and on Zoloft (have been to psychiatrict few times and he put me on Zoloft) and i dont want to go again. Its hard for me to talk about this and kinda shameful.

I ALWAYS feel guilty. All the time. I just cant get over some guilt and shame. I always feel like an evil person and that everyone hate me because they know somrthing evil about me that i even dont know... and that they are right. And everyone hides something about me. I dont deserve to live. I always feel paranoid and anxious. I cry every day and I even tried to kill myself once. I dont feel like there is hope for me. My parents dont understand me. I talked with them about it a lot and they want to help me but simply can not. I dont get better. I feel few years like this. My mom even told me that everyone is tired of my problems and she doesnt believe this is my only problem. I had periods when i get a lot better but then a lot worse. Im afraid that i may be bipolar. I just lose friends because i dont want to go out. I even forbid myself doing things that nakes me happy (playing favorite video game, watching favorite series etc). I just feel uncomfortable doing things i love. Can someone help me discover why i feel this way? I will be VERY THANKFUL.

Catrin

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • richard89308
    richard89308 AlwaysDavis

    Posted

    OCD sufferers tend to be set in their thought patterns and think in certain ways. If you are feeling suicidal, that is different. Why do you want to end your life? Do you have a particular reason? Why don't you deserve to live"? We are all human and deserve a chance and it is sad to see you suffering. Can you get access to OCD counselling. That would be good.  video games are popular activities with OCD and autism too. You just have specialist things that you do where other people do different things.  Try and get some professional help somewhere if you can.

    richard

  • shaun45836
    shaun45836 AlwaysDavis

    Posted

    Hello Davis I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through you deserve to be leading a happy life I'm not a professional but I can give you some advice on how I deal with my depression along with taking yout meds i no with how you are feeling you may not want to do all this at once but do it in smalk steps mate this may help you . you should get exercise go jogging I no you said you don't go out if you don't feel up to it why not save up and get a treadmill do some weights if you can't go gym purchase some free weights you need sunlight I no u said you can't go out go in your back garden listen to uplifting music if you want to play your favourite video game push yourself you deserve that sh*t bro what games you into I'm a gamer myself if you have trouble sleeping at night asmr videos are relaxing I hope if helped you in some way you have a family who loves you and friends stay strong for them I no your hurting but things will get better if you push yourself do it for yourself do it for your family if you dig deep there's strength in all of us even in are darkest hour if you want to discus anything I'm here mate
  • cherry08
    cherry08 AlwaysDavis

    Posted

    Do you think the medication ur taking is helping you at all. If not maybe theres a different one you can try, I know its not easy changing meds, but might help in the long run. Maybe talk to ur doc. I think you are so brave by the way, it sounds awful what your going through. Ive had depression, anxiety and ocd for years.Im on the right meds now and have been great for about 4 years now. I know what its like when you say u have periods where ur fine then u get ill again. Think its prob the same as most people with this type of illness. Dont deny yourself your favorite Tv show or video games. It might help you to get better. Everyone deserves to be happy.  Also when your feeling better, you can help out your family and friends. so dont give up.

    Oh and you asked why your feeling like this, I think its a type of depression. Dont know why some people get it and some dont, guess its like any other illness.

    Take care

  • tersia03817
    tersia03817 AlwaysDavis

    Posted

    Hi Always Davis,

    It sounds to me like you are on the wrong medication. You say you don't want to see a psychiatrist again, but I think it will help you a lot! Zoloft is for depression and anxiety, but it seems like you might need an anti-psychotic because you need help with feeling guilty and thinking you are evil and all those kids of bad thoughts. You know those thoughts are not true and they are not real, but you can't help thinking them, whihc means you are sufferring from delusions (believing things that are not true, not real).

    I feel so bad for you suffering like that, imagining such bad things about yourself. That is really aweful. You need to get help quickly to stop thinking those things. You are a beautiful human being, a very good person, worhty and important and you have every right to be here and to be happy. You can be happy and feel good, but you need some help right now to get there. You need to be thinking happy, good, positive thoughts.

    You can not expect your family to understand. It is not their fault they don't understand. They have not experienced what you are experiencing, and they are not able to understand. They just don't get it. Mental Health teems do understand, and they can help you, but your family probably cannot help you.

    I wish you healing and help, and please go see a psychiatrist and get the right medication.

    • tersia03817
      tersia03817

      Posted

      I really think you need to go see a psychiatrist and tell him what you are thinking and feeling, so he can put you on the right medication. All the best.
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