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i'm scared of myself

Posted , 4 users are following.

deona27786
deona27786

i am in a lot of pain i'm on so many medications but nothing will make the pain go away. lately i've been so depressed all i want to do is take whatever i can that will make me sleep. i only sleep around 2 hours a day but if it's a new or defferent medication i can take it 2 or3 days before my system gets use to it i cant be alone with my grand babies because i'm so scared of the mood swings i don't want to hurt them or there little feelings i am misrable i'm nothing without my grand babies they are the only reason i havent sliced my wraist all i think about is different ways i can end this misrable life i have had so many bad things happen to me when will i ever get a break the only time i can forget my life for a few hours is to escape ibto tv programs at least the ones that will hold my attention i'm on so many medications that i'm just empty inside everyday i think of a reason not to end this nothing life maybe god will give me a do over im two months i will be homeless i have nowhere where to go with no income i am in so much pain i can't even whole down a job i don't know what i'm going to do im so scared i am a beardom on my children my son just took on a second job to pay for my meds and take care of his family i feel so bad u=i hate myself and i know my children hate me too

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • steven43881
    steven43881 deona27786

    Posted

    God bless you, Deona. Try to hang in there. I have similar issues with pain--Prostate pain, so I know where your coming from. I try to think of each day as a different day and then I make it through that particular day. I know you can do this too. Stay strong. If you need me write back. I Am here.

         Steve

  • jo57386
    jo57386 deona27786

    Posted

    I'm sure your children dont hate you. If that was the case your son wouldn't have done what he did. I assume as he took the job to pay for your meds you are in America? I urge you Deona please speak to your GP about how you feel and get a referral to see a psychologist. Love & light. Jo
  • KMRC
    KMRC deona27786

    Posted

    Deona,  docs tend to over prescribe and you may even be having reactions between your other meds or even some foods you eat.  Look up all your meds and see if they could be having adverse effects on each other.  Docs don't have the time ( or sometimes the inclination) to go over all your meds and tell you which ones could be hurting you.  You have the Internet, use it. I was once on 18 meds, couldn't think, function or anything.  When the Internet came out I started researching my conditions and meds and was shocked!  I weaned myself off most of them and now take 3.  I can think again, am not depressed, and am able to laugh at just about anything!  There is hope.  If you are unable to do this research yourself, get a family member or good friend to do it for you.  Being proactive will stop you from being over medicated but if you cannot, rely on one who can be the proactive person you need.  Good luck, sweetie.  My heart goes out to you.
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