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Grandparent view at losing grandaughter 18 weeks gestation

Posted , 3 users are following.

Steph9283
Steph9283

My beautifu daughterl told me she was pregnant back in march,she was only 3 weeks gone.Was shocked but then over the moon,shes in a longterm stable relationship,own home etc.So life went on,i was so excited being my first grandchild,Started to buy bits straight away.....I knew it was daft but couldnt help myself.She was the same........At what we thought was 7 weeks she started to bleed so went to the epu(early pregnancy unit) for a scan.....all was fine and she was actually 12 weeks...!!!Heard the heartbeat saw baby on the screen...GREAT....Continued to buy things and get more and more excited....At 14 weeks she had some abnormal blood results and during that meeting with consultant he let slip that she was expecting a girl......WOW....We were all so pleased.Bloods came back ok after a while and all was fine.18 weeks and i got a phone call 8am in the morning after she had done a night shift(works at hosp).She had statred to bleed at 11pm,went down to a&e,they scanned and she found out that her beautiful baby girl had died a few weeks ago.Utter disbelief......I was heartbroken for my daughter and partner and heartbroken for myself.She had to go home and they said that hopefully she would expel(can you believe that)her naturally.....I now know that this is far better for the mother but it seemed barbaric at the time.3 days later my beautiful daughter lost her beautiful daughter.

From my point of view i had to be strong for my daughter,and to see her go through this was just alwful.My heart was breaking for her and for the grandaughter i will never hold.

This was 6 weeks ago now and she has become obsessed with wanting a baby which i guess is totally understandable.

Just wanted to share and write down a little of my experience.....

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • summersault
    summersault Steph9283

    Posted

    I am truly sorry for your loss. My daughter is 27 weeks pregnant with twins. The little boy passed away at 20 weeks. She has to carry him until she delivers little girl. She was counting on being able to hold him and say goodbye, but he is deteriorating and being reabsorbed. It horrifying to her and has nightmares about it.

    I am making a "memory bear" out of the onsie that he would have worn home from the hospital and hope it gives her some comfort.

    My prayers are that your daughter will have a healthy baby to hold in the near future.

    • Steph9283
      Steph9283 summersault

      Posted

      Hi Summersault

      Many thanks for your kind heartfelt words.

      I cannot imagine what your family and of course your daughter are going through.I am so very sorry to hear this,i didnt realise that a twin could be "reabsorbed" that is truly horrific.

      Have they spoken about what to expect when she does deliver?

      I think your idea of a memory bear is an excellent idea and im sure will offer some comfort.

      I have just found out that my daughter is indeeed expecting again,it is very early days and she "fell" very quickly.Already she has had bleeding but an internal scan wednesday revealed a heart beat and the begining of a new life..5-6 weeks.

      I am so happy for them both but of course so very worried,she is besides herself with worry.......To be expected i guess.

      I hope the remainder of your daughters pregnancy goes without incident....

      I truly hope things go well and are bearable for you all..

      Lots of love...

    • Steph9283
      Steph9283 summersault

      Posted

      Hi Summersault

      I was just wondering how things are now?I do hope your daughter and all concerned are coping...xx

  • weenett
    weenett Steph9283

    Posted

    Aw bless u! Talk to her lots abt her baby and tell here u understand here grief and longing for another baby tell her to wait a while grieve for her daughter and when the time is right she'll get another chance!

    I have been where she is i concieved again within 8 weeks and it was a long anxious fear filled 9 months and beyond once my daughter was eventually here tell her to take some tome to grieve

    • Steph9283
      Steph9283 weenett

      Posted

      Thank you....

      Yes have talked loads and loads....

      She is actually expecting again,she fell within a fornight of losing and is now currently 14.5 weeks gone.

      Had a couple of scares but so far so good....Good strong hearbeat.

      Everyday though we live in fear .....the what if`s......

      Fingers crossed all will be well.

    • weenett
      weenett Steph9283

      Posted

      Yeah get used to the what ifs its gonna b a hard yr or so but i have a health 6 yr old now! And remember wat i said talk often abt the angel baby
    • Steph9283
      Steph9283 weenett

      Posted

      We are always talking about her,she will never be forgotten.

      Daughter having a scan in fortnight to find out what shes having.

      Its just around the time now when her daughter died inside the womb although daughter didnt find out until 18 weeks........A hard scary time ahead but will all be worth it...

      Glad you had a happy outcome in the end..

       

    • weenett
      weenett Steph9283

      Posted

      And with gods and ur families help she will to
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