Vaginal Repair for Rectocele on February 27th, what should I expect?

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So just to give a little background, I am a mommy of a 5 year old and I work at an Amazon warehouse. I am in the US. When I gave birth to my son, he got stuck in the birth canal and the doctor had to cut me and put a suction cup on his head and pull him out while I was pushing. Ever since the birth of my son I have been constipated and my vagina has been very open and loose. It never came close to being normal again after delivery and I had talked to several doctors and other women who had children vaginally and seemed to be the only one having this issue. Finally after 5 years of doctors telling me I was fine and normal and to just do kegals, I finally was diagnosed about 8 months ago with a "very relaxed perineum" and was told I needed to have a procedure called perineoplasty and that it would repair the tissue between my vagina and rectum and that it would help a lot with my bowel movements and tighten up the front of my vagina, but only the front few centimeters. I was very worried that if only the first few centimeters were tightened that my vagina would be like a little creek that led to an ocean, like tight for a second and then gigantic. Then in January I seen a different OBGYN that was switching my Merina (5 year IUD birth control) and I asked him what he thought. He did a vaginal and rectal exam and said my sphincter muscle was very damaged, my perineum needs repaired, and yes of course my vagina is very open. He said the ideal vagina is about a 2 finger size and mine is at least a 4 finger vagina. I am only 20 years old. I want the surgery. I would love to have regular sex and regular bowel movements. I want to be functional again. I worry that by getting this surgery I would have to have a c section if I chose to have any more kids in the future. I only have 1. It would be at least a few years down the road, but if I don't medically have to have a c section, I would rather not. By getting this surgery would I have to have a c section or get this surgery all over again? I am like addicted to getting as much information about the procedure as possible. It will be an outpatient surgery. I go in at noon, surgery starts around 1 and lasts about an hour and as long as everything goes "normal" then I will be released around 3pm. I will have post op check ups and will have to be cleared for things like sex and going back to work, and things like that. What is the normal time frames you were told and when did you feel like you were ready? What should I be asking on my next visit before the surgery? Has anyone else that has gotten this done been this loose or open before surgery? If so, did it really help with that? I mean it is so bad I hardly ever get an orgasm...I dream about them though. I love to have sex but I just feel ruined. Like my bank got robbed or something. I just want to make sure before I get this surgery and wait all this time for it to heal and miss this much work, that it is actually going to fix my problems. I also recently started getting a painful kind of pressure feeling in my rectum when I am sitting down. I am guessing this is a symptom of the rectocele issues? My doctor mentioned words like prolapse, having to put my organs back in place where they should be, putting my muscles back in place, perineoplasty, vaginal repair, and things like that. Will al of this happen in this surgery? How long did your surgery take? Has anyone had more than one vaginal surgery? I was told by my doctor that if I got more than one I would get painful scar tissue. Is this true in most cases? The pain that I will be in after the surgery, does is feel like after giving birth, worse, or not quite as bad? I am trying to get a general idea of what will happen. I have a wonderful boyfriend that is just amazing with my son and really wants to keeo him home with him and take him to preschool/daycare on his normal schedule (we work together but I get him ready in the mornings and walk him in) and then me and my boyfriend go to work. I will be staying at my mother's house for the first week or so until I am independent and comfortable doing a little bit more. (She's a nurse), and also because my boyfriend will still have to go to work. Just trying to plan out as much as I can. Any advice or personal experience you can share would be greatly appreciated. I am so very excited to finally get this surgery, but I am very afraid. My doctor acts like its no big deal and I will be fine in 4-6 weeks and I just don't think it's that simple. Thank you all for reading.

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  • Posted

    Are you by chance in Chattanooga?  Amazon plant there so just wondering.  You have so many questions wrapped up in your post it's difficult to address them all.  First I would say that most doctors caution women to wait to have this surgery until they are finished having children, I am surprised your doctor hasn't told you that, but perhaps there are reasons he or she doesnt want you to wait.  With your age,you likely will be fine after 4-6 weeks, but will have to be very careful with bending and lifting and working at Amazon that might be a problem for you.  You didn't mention being diagnosed with a rectocele so I'm not sure if you're having that done or if you are only having the perineoplasty done. Basically recovering from a perineoplasty is much the same as recovering from your original episiotomy if that is the only repair being done.  It gets more extensive when you involve pelvic organ prolapse repairs as well.
    • Posted

      I am in Indiana. I have had these problems for 5 years and was told I was fina and normal and to do kegals and excercize which did nothing for me. At the very least I knew I was too open so I went to a doctor that does Laser Vaginal Reconstruction, which he would put my muscle back in place and tighten my vagina back to how it was pre-baby (which would be virgin like) but it is $7,000 and insurance won't touch it. He told me do not get this surgery until I am done having children. Finally 7 months months ago an OBGYN recognized my issue and said I have a rectocele and need vaginal repair, my perineum needs work, and my bladder and other things need put back in place. She said it would be ideal for me to wait until I am done having kids but I am 20 years old. I want to be married and established before I bring any more kids into this world. I want to graduate and have a career and not a job and those are things that will come years down the road. I'm not confident starting a new relationship with a vagina as open and loose as mine, like there is no feeling. I just don't see marraige in my future like this, and I may not have more children. I am happy with one. If I get married and my husband really wants kids, we can try and if vaginal birth works and I get this red-done, it works for me, or I can get a c section. I just can't go a lifetime like this. I LOVED sex before I had my child. I had sex with the father of my child every single day and it was amazing. I just feel empty, broken, damaged, and unhappy like this. I feel like I lost a part of being a woman and I just want to be "normal". Rectocele is an issue for me. I was cut all the way to my anus during delivery and when I sit down I have pressure in my anus and can barely push out bowel movements. So I will be having perineoplasty, rectocele, prolapse and tightening done. I'm sorry I just found all of this out not too long ago and I am still figuring out the terms for the procedures. I do have tons of questions in my post and I'm sorry for that. I figured I would post them all and if anyone had answers to any of them they could just tell me what they know. I am so excited but I am very scared. I know I'll be fine I have just never been away from my kid or not able to care for him all of the way. I am his only provider. His dad just really isn't in the picture and my boyfriend is really stepping up I just wish I could care for him all the way and do everything after the surgery but I know that's not the case
  • Posted

    I had three big babies all 10lbs + & the last turned & came shoulders first. I was stretched. In the last two yrs it has got worse with my prolapse in my pelvic floor hanging. I thought I had piles, it was actually my bowel being pushed outside of my body. I always had the feeling that my vagina would drop to the ground after a long day & during my period. I can't run or bounce on a trampoline without peeing.

    I am also only 34, I felt that when my husband & I had sex he entered a wide open space & feeling was lost for both of us.

    I saw a consultant who recommended pelvic floor repair anterior & posterior. That is simple terms to fancy names. He recommended it only if I was finished with my family. He also said it would make my vagina tight & sex may be painful afterwards.

    Now the honest part, I read a lot of advice on this site & anything I could find. I have a high pain threshold but I totally underestimated this surgery. I am 13 days post op & I was kept in for 6 nights in hospital. My bladder wasn't emptying completely so I have to wear a catherer for two weeks. I was unable to have a bowel movement for a week & I felt like I was having constant contractions. When that passed I am aware that the area is very bruised & I have a lot of stitches so very tender.

    I was originally told I couldn't drive for two weeks but after extensive stitching the consultant changed it to six weeks. I also knew that I couldn't lift anything more than 15lbs for the first 12 wks but was then told I cant lift anything over 20lbs for the rest of my life. My kid's are all under 7 & it hit me I can't lift them, I can't put them into a shopping cart. My phil & ted buggy is now too heavy to lift in & out of car. I normally walk 5k a night but barely make 500m at the moment.

    Most are also not fit for work until 12 wks after surgery especially if you are on your feet or active in your job. You might not be as severe as me but if I find out this surgery didn't work I will not be repeating the procedure.

    A lot to think about, if you have any questions just ask.

    • Posted

      I don't have any vaginal pain at all ever. It is very open I feel like I could hide the remote in there and go on about my day! I don't have any periods because I have the Merina (IUD) and I haven't had any since the borth of my child because that's when I got it. What state are you in? I am in Indiana and I was told this is an outpatent surgery and I would be there for 3 hours. Was yours scheduled to be an overnight stay? I would feel more comfortable staying for at least 12 hours. But I guess that's not the case here. I am having a perineoplasty, rectocele, prolapse, and tightening done. What is causing the cramping and contraction like pain for you? Is is just because everthing got moved and your pelvic floor was moved? I know this surgery is a lot for my body to take and everything will have to take time and with the prolapse, everything will have to get used to it's new placement and settle in
    • Posted

      Ok I just had this surgery im a mother of 4 and It's been exactly one week

      I feel like I am dying

      Please tell me it gets better

    • Posted

      Melissa I had my surgery June 13th 2016 and felt the exact same way you're currently feeling and let me tell you it does get better. For me personally it was a very slow, painful and frustrating process but here I am 8 months later.

    • Posted

      Ok thank you so much for responding

      I have a 18 mos and 8 mos and set of 10 yr twins and I should've waited to have surgery. But I am finally urinating alone

      And 8 mos later do you feel better? Was it worth it?

    • Posted

      To answer clearly here's a little background story. Has my one and only son at the age of 22 and I never had any issues before that time. About a year after I gave birth was when I started noticing issues particularly with seeing an actual small bulge by my vaginal opening and didn't think much of it. Actually I wasn't educated on prolapse I had no idea in my mind that giving birth could cause prolapse, I had never known or heard of it before not even during my pregnancy. So as time passed by that bulge was now getting bigger and turns out I had a grade 3-4 cystocele with also a grade 3-4 rectocele but I didn't want to think about surgery due to family planning. I eventually couldn't live my life the way it was with the prolapse anymore so decided to go with the surgery 4 years later which was June of last year. I had never had surgery for anything ever and I must say this was the worst pain I ever felt. The bladder surgery didn't seem to bother me as much as the rectocele repair THAT'S what brought me down. The amount of pain I was in couldn't compare to anything. I had bad days and good days but to be honest for me the first 3 weeks were the worst however I was still progressing slowly. I was able to urinate 2 weeks after the surgery on my own and very slowly regained my bowel habits. 8 months later and part of me is happy I went with the surgery and the other part of me regrets it because my symptoms are back. Not as bad as before but they're back.

    • Posted

      What kind of symptoms are back? Did you get the tightening as well?
    • Posted

      I've seen 2 doctor's after my surgery and to my disappointment they have both said that it would of been better for me to wait and have the surgery and also that these kinds of repairs don't have high success rates...but I couldn't let it keep affecting my life daily so I chose to do it. I still want more family but I of course will have to have a c section definitely no vaginal births for me anymore.

    • Posted

      I see a small bulge at the vaginal opening again although much smaller than before the surgery and also have to urinate frequently so I know for a fact the cystocele is back. I blame the cystocele for not being able to have sex in some positions as well. That was a problem before the surgery and am starting to notice it again. I clearly remember seeing no bulge after the surgery and now that I can see its back it's disappointing and brings me down but again every body is different.

    • Posted

      Ok I am about 2mos post op and I am LOVING the results! My vagina looks and feels brand new. A virgin again lol

      I am on a UTI medication currently but that's normal I guess after the surgery (had to take my cathiter)home and prob got the infection that way. Taking colace everyday.

      Don't regret the surgery not one bit!!

    • Posted

      I have similar problems. Most doctors don’t rec surgical repairs, especially, they say, “while you still want a sexlife”. I’ve been coping with this since my third and last child was born (14 years ago). My question: how are you doing now? Do you recommend surgery, and if so,  which ones?

      All my best to you, and I hope you are well,

      Heidi 

    • Posted

      HELLO THERE I SEE YOU HAVE YOUR SERGERY DONE AYEAR AGO HOW ARE YOU DOING SEX LIFE IM HAVING SERGERY NEX WEEK CYS-AND REC AND A MID SLING IM NERVES.

       

  • Posted

    I had the rectocele and cystocele surgery done at the same time.

    My first birth sounds similar to yours.

    They basically pushed my bladder and bowel back into position and tightened it. I was given pain relief but I didn't find sitting as painful after the op compared to after my first birth.

    You have a physical job so I'm guessing you will need extra time off. I'm a stay at home mom and found it tough going. I couldn't lift my baby, he was around 24lbs at the time of the op.

    My surgeon wanted to wait until I had finished having children before the op was done because if I wasn't it would mean more surgery afterwards .

    I'm 35 and have 3children so I decided it was time.

    It is great that you can stay with your mom especially the first week. My baby and 3yr old went to stay with grandparents and my 6yrvold stayed home as she had school, friends collected her and brought Her home just before bedtime so I just had to do her lunch in the morning and get her to bed.

    I was in hospital for 3 nights

    • Posted

      I had rectocele and something done to the entrance of the vagina I'm 17 day post op.

      I have three children youngest is four.I've noticed a huge difference in the way my vagina looks and feels the opening is smaller and the back wall does not bulge at the entrance anymore. I am definitely a one to two finger lady now 😆 my confidence is much better.

      I was advised not to have any more children but I've finished my family anyway. I'm quite a bit older than you. I have not attempted sex yet so don't really know how well that is going to go, bit scared to try. My hubby is quite excited think he thinks he is taking my virginity lol.

      I wasn't in too much pain managed on just paracetamol and currently in no pain at all. I did get a infection though around the perineal stitches but antibiotics have sorted that. I was told not to lift anything heavy for 3 months and to take it easy light housework for first month. I'm glad I had the surgery. Your young and will probably heal quickly providing you follow doctors advice. I was only in hospital 2 days the worse thing for me was opening bowels after surgery quite difficult and painful, I'd advise stool softeners for first few weeks. Good luck

    • Posted

      I think my surgery will be a lot similar to yours. Were you scheduled to stay for 3 days? I was told its an out patient surgery and I will be there 3 hours. I am going to take a lot of time off of work. at least 12 weeks I am thinking. And when I go back I might try to find a sit down job that's not as active. I really want it to heal properly and do right by my body. I really wish his father was in the picture so he could take over for a few weeks and I could just trust that he is in good hands. He is good when he is around but he currently lives about an hour away with a girl that isn't suitable to be around my child. They argue a lot and my son's school is here. I know people will step up and help me, I am jsut nervous not having his care planned out yet and my surgery is in 19 days...yes I am counting down to the day I get my womanhood back!
    • Posted

      I am so excited to hear that the surgery really tightened it up! I think you had a rectocele and posterior vaginal repair? That's what I am getting in addition to prolapse, which is where they put my bladder and other things back in place. Do you think I should request antibiotics after surgery to prevent infection? from what I am reading, infection is quite common but not too hard to deal with, but I would rather avoid it if possible. I definitely refer to my first time having sex after this surgery as "loosing my virginity" too! It's so exciting. I was excited to have sex for the first time after I haad my son. It was 5 1/2 weeks after and I still had disolvable stitches down there and it hurt a little but it felt really good too. Had to go easy though. I am really going to have to take stool softeners. I have very hard bowel movements about once every week and a half or less ever since the birth of my son 5 years ago and it is very hard to push it out.
    • Posted

      I was scheduled to stay that long. I had a little more done than just the rectocele.

      Hopefully your job can accommodate you on the sit down job as you have to be careful lifting.

      Your son is five so you should be ok, I wasn't allowed drive for two weeks so if his school is not walking distance you will need help. The first week you will have to rest and you are staying st your moms so you should be ok. The second week you can do little bits. Get your son to help a bit, I'm sure he will love to help.

      Now is time to start asking. I found that hard but once I asked people were more than willing.

      Best of luck

    • Posted

      Thank you so much! My boyfriend said he would take him to school and everything and his day care teacher will pick him up too, and I am pretty sure I could get her to bring him home, she's pretty awesome. I am having prolapse too, she said that she needed to move my bladder and other things back up into place, work on my perineum, the rectocele, and tightening. I am just a little worried. She is an experienced obgyn but she acts like this surgery is just no big deal and easy peasy and I'm just not too sure about that. Is there anything I shoud buy now to have after the surgery, like different underwear or anything else?
    • Posted

      Hi they gave me antibiotic shot before the op but still got infection just under two weeks later. It wasn't really bad just around the stitches.

      They told me 2 to 3 day stay but I did so well they let me out after 2 nights in hospital. Yes I had posterior walk repair and repair to the opening. I'm in the UK my op was done on the NHS.

    • Posted

      What is NHS? Im in US and mine is an outpatient 3 hour surgery
    • Posted

      Hi Chey, NHS is the national healthcare system in the UK.  I know your doctor has told you that you''ll be going home the same day but I'd almost be willing to bet money that you wont be. They told me that also but when I got to the hospital they explained that they would move me from recovery to my hospital room where I spent the next two days. I'd say you're more likely to stay than not.
    • Posted

      That is definitely relief I would rather be there and be safe and not at home and getting in and out of cars and going upstairs to my room. I hope it's the same here!
    • Posted

      I live in Ohio so its a safe bet.
    • Posted

      I'm SOOO HAPPY!!! I found someone close who had it! I feel like all I do is talk about this surgery to anyone that will listen. Thing is, I would usually be too embarrassed to admit to people that my vagina is ruined and that I feel like a man who's penis got shot off, but I am so excited/happy/nervous/scared/unsure that I no longer care to be embarassed because it's getting fixed (hopefully)! I really hope I get a hospital stay. I just don't want to be home and having issues and nobody around to help. 18 days away!
    • Posted

      Hi did u end up being happy with your surgery? My obgyn refused to do a repair on my perenium and as far as being too open she actually said this to me: "I've seen worse!" I am still mad about that like what do I care if she's seen worse If I wear shorts or a skirt I can do a weather reading with my vagina and not to mention I still can't poop properly and now have rectal prolapse (partial); which is where my bum is actually turning itself inside out and coming out of my body and I always feel like I have to have a bm and try 20 times a day I did have an A&P repair done but the rectocele she repaired was quite high up so she never fixed my perenium. I'm working up the courage to see another dr and try this again. I am so anxious I'll get dismissed again why do they think I can't tell what's wrong with me? It's my body and I knew immediately after my second was born. Now it's been so long since I've been normal down there I'm starting to forget. I don't care what it looks like down there; I don't want cosmetic surgery. But yes sex sucks now as well and yes I've done my kegels I'm obsessed with them actually and use two weights /balls on a silicone string as well for months now; no improvement /veryminimal. I need to hear a success story and how u got your dr to listen to you. Thx

    • Posted

      Hi omic, I think we have similar situation, I now you wrote this post a year ago, just wondering if you do see this reply...how is the repair one year later? I am set to have rectocele repair in a few months, im 33, have 3 children, 18 month old, 3 yr old and 5 yr old . Stay at home mom with 2 younger ones...im scared, I keep reading horror stories on the Internet, looking for a realistic picture of what it looks like on the other side of the 'recovery'. Also did you do physical therapy as well. I have bin seeing a pt for 6 weeks and my symptom are slightly improved..

    • Posted

      Hello,

      Thanks for sharing on this site. No one talk about this IRL(except me it seems!)

      I have questions - and would so very much appreciate any info you might share.

      Was your surgery successful in your opinion? What procedures did you have? What symptoms, if any,have returned? Is intercourse painful?

      I’ll stop there, but know I’m up for hearing ALL about it.  While I do all I can to cope in a healthful way it is having a big negative effect on my life, particularly exercise, bowel movements, possibly sex (I fear I’m not tight enough), etc.

      Thank you!!

      Heidi

    • Posted

      HOW ARE YOU DOING KNONW DID YOU HAVE A SLIM PUT IN IM HAVING A CYS AND REC AND MID SLIM DONE NEX WEEK I WAS TOLD SEX WILL BE PAIN FULL BUT I DONT PLANT TO HAVE SEX FOR ALEAST 4 MONTH MY HUSBAN IS UNDERTADING AND I M 35 YEAR OLD HAD 3 VAG CHILD BIRTHS AND I PEED ALL THE THE IF I RUN ARE JUMP AND NERVES.

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