Depressed,Alone and A Phobia of Doctors

I am sorry to hear you feel so low. I am just coming out of long bout of long term depression (2 1/2 years) and strongly recomment you see a Dr.

May I suggest to you write everything doen and your feelings down and take a trusted person to you appointment to the Dr. Take them into the consultation with you and they can prompt you but if you have it all written down you can litterally read it to the Dr. Any good GP would understand and help you. The longerer you leave iot the worse it will get.

Good luck!

Thankyou Justina, I'm just so terrified at the very thought of going to see a doctor. I dont have many people in my life and no-one knows how I feel. No-one knows of my childhood. I don't know what I'm going to do if I ever became ill

Rachel

It took me a long time to go go the drs and admit I was depressed. I have had depression on and off all my adult life from mild to now clinical. My partner contacted my mother last time and she came here to Sheffield where I live with my brother to see how bad I was. They went to the Dr without me and insisted that I was sssen and referred to mental health services. My brother said if she didn't he would go to the GMC! I left that surgery and transferred to another more sympathtic one. The GP there was so good and referred me to mental health services and put me on citilopram straight away.

This last time I went to the GP myself and again was given medication. I eventually was sectioned as I stopped taking it but I have gone back onto mertazapine.

Try and go to the Dr, the sooner the be the better. If you feel y you cant do that try the Samartans ( I think you can email them) or you could try Mind.Org.UK. It has a very good website.

It sounds as if maybe you could have some kind of talking thearpy and discuss your issues about your childhood.

I cant face seeing a doctor. I have looked at a couple of websites to email. if i can talk to someone through emailing it would be better. Ive never spoken about my childhood, Id find that so hard to do

Rachel

I do feel for you. I have a similar story but my dentist actually contacted my doctor when I wrote her a letter saying I coudl face coming for the fillings she told me I needed . Thankfully she noticed my depression and spoke to doctor who contacted me at home and came and saw me. Start f medication, alot of therapy, alot of stuff form past come out, and I must admit, things arent great now but can only improve. I contacted samarians on a number fo occasioned end of last year when I didnt want to carry on - coudltn talk to them but had wonderful email support from them - didnt tell me what to do but I felt really like they wanted to be there for me. U say you counldnt see a doctor, what abotu a practice nurse? would you talk to them? I am a practice nurse and I have had pateints who feel they cant go to doctors, they come and talkt o me and then we go togetehr and I help them talkt o doctor and get help. Just a thought - u need some help and some one needs to be there for /with you I'm so sorry you feel like you do - its horrible but we are all here for you and will support you with seeing someone professionally so you get some help. Take care , keep talking to us xxxxxxx

It was always drummed into me when i was a child that I would be taken away and put into a mental hospital. I was so terrified of everything to do with doctors, anything medical. Its got a lot worse as ive got older - I haven't been to see a doctor for years now,. its a fear that I cant get rid of ... Ive hardly slept and im feeling really stressed at the moment. Ive still got the heavy feeling in my chest. From what I can tell , from what ive read , its anxiety or panic. My hands are shaky. Its quite scary

Hi Rachel

I understand what u mean and I must admit I too have been concerned re the possibility of secitioning and "being locked away" but it so rarely happens unless u r a risk to urself or someone else - but yes, I understand your concern. Do you have anyone close to you who u feel comfortabel to talk to? I didnt although I have got a lttle better in last 8 months but I still avoid alot of conversations. U sound like you are havign panic attacks to a certain degree leaving u with a tight heavy chets. How long have u been like this? Do you get out to work ? I too am 43 and I can feel for you so much but u need to somehow let some one in so they can help you _ I have a problem with men after some horrible abuse in past so I found a woman doctor - I now see a male psychiatrist so that shows just how far I have come with medication and yes I was petrified , I felt so sick, so unabkle to talk before I went in, but now I feel he is the closest person on my side and is so supportive - he knew abotu my past in a letetr I write to him before I went - coudl you write to your doctor? Woudl u let them come and see you at your home where u r on home territory and U r in control? Its such a horrible situation but there r many options of help - some medication might initally make u feel able to do more but they have to know to start this up. Please please, please trust a professional to help you xxxx

applogoies for my bad typing Rachel !!!! My english isnt usually this bad lol!!!

Rachel

Samaritans sounds a good idea or practice nurse. My GP referred me for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) which helped a lot. I had a CPN as well as access to Crisis Team. You must talk to someone.

Regarding Sectioning I was sectioned 3 years ago. I did a "voluntary" section which means after 3 days you can leave. Better than an enforced one which I I think is either 21 or 28 days. It was not as bad as I thought it would be and when I was discharged I had a lot of support from Mental Health Services and still have a care co-ordinator whom I see every 3-4 weeks.

I think if you realise your panic attacks are affecting your everyday life and moods then you are half way to getting better!

Hi, I have looked at the samaritans. I need something where I can just email, so I can still feel safe. I really dont want to actually see someone in person. Its so difficult.. Im not quite sure they do that, but im hoping they do

There is a book on CBT which was loaned to me a a CPN whilst I was in hospital and I did the exercises. I can't remember the name but I will see if can find out what its called and post the title here. Its a self help book and very understandable and easy to work through.

Thanks Justina, that would be a help.. Books I can deal with....

Link to the book, Mind over mood

www.amazon.co.uk/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898621283/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335962639&sr=8-1

Hi Rachel08,i am a 42 yr old female and i know wot it feels like 2 b on your own and the issues u have with the GP i was the same i never went 2 c any 1or spoke 2 any 1 at all untill it was almost 2 late. I had been suffering with server depression 4 at least 12 years and never told any1 wot i was doin goin through the thoughts everything( i didnt no at the time i was so ill). I 2 had a bad childhood passed around and never talked or trusted any and was abused. I had 2 learn 2 fend 4 mysel as i had no1 2 turn 2 so i used work as an escape i was a head chef and worked 60 plus hrs a week so i didnt have 2 face up 2 my demonds. It was 6 years ago next week i had a break down ( best mate comited cuicide) and i had 2 get help i left it 2 long like u i was terrified of lettin any1 into my space or takin me away. I am on meds and i c a pycologist 2 hours a week for 3 years now and it helps im not goin 2 say im fixed and ok but i wish i had the strenghth 2 do it earlier. i still do have issues with GPs but am gettin use 2 it. I find that helps is i wright things down 4 my gp or my pycologist if i find things 2 hard and they can read it. I am also in touch with the local crissis team 24/7. Sorry 2 go on so much i know how hard it is but it sounds like u need 2 get help i left it 2 long and have been in some very dark and terrifying places and if i can help any1 going 2 places iv been i hope i can. Even if u can right a letter and get it 2 your GP and ask if they can call u and tell them how u doin over phone so u not face them and if it feel ok arange a home visit but please do think about it dont do as i did u will regret it.

Take care u not on your own we do understand. xx

Hi, you have almost described my life up until the psychology part. I appreciate your message so much, it gives me some hope that maybe I can get some help.. It's taking that first step - and finding someone who is kind. I'm feeling so fragile at the moment, and I have such big rejection issues, so I have to find someone who is sympathetic.. I say this because I know that our local GP is known for being very severe and unfriendly... All I've done is cry today - I've felt like I'm falling to pieces. I've got to get my head round all this. I'm a bag of nerves.. Thank-you so much for telling me all this, and it is good to not feel so alone x