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Hiv fear... Exposure in December 2 now freaking out

Posted , 6 users are following.

jordidr1
jordidr1

Hi everyone... december 2 I had unprotected sex with a girl I know, I'm a circumcised 27 yer old male, she thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her, and I had a tough couple of months with my wife... Not justifying it, not at all... I know I'm a piece of s**t for doing that... And now I'm freaking out... As of today I had diarrhea a couple sporadic days, the guilt and anxiety won't go away...

Now, I suffer from anxiety and depression, so December 28 I did an oraquick, which was negative and december 29 I did a test in a clinic where they draw blood from my finger and tested, came back negative... I know was only 4 weeks ago...but does it mean anything? I'm seriously freaking out... I feel all of my nerves in my stomach, I feel like crap mentally... I eat no appetite loss so I guess that's good.

I know my wife doesn't deserve what I did and hope I am negative so I can give her a full life of beautiful moments and experiences... I know sounds corny but I mean it...

I had her tested last Tuesday and Monday she'll go do an additional rapid test at a clinic, plus she should get the results by this coming week for the doctors test.

Please any help?

0 likes, 26 replies

26 Replies

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  • richard88109
    richard88109 jordidr1

    Posted

    I know how you feeling right now, me too because I had a sex with an girl that I don't know really well, and I use the condome but I broke, so that freak the hell out of me too and got some diarea And other Symtoms , But what ever you do, ( Don't Search on the internet about the symptoms) Symtoms says nothing, I wil make your fear event bigger , and if you stress to much your body wil get weak, so wait until you get tested, wait 3 month and get test that the only way to know . And repeat it after 3 month agian that the only way sure!

    Let say don't waste your time, You have a lot more to do life get going. don't fear something you don't know yet, your head is tricking you. It going to be okay, that is what I'm telling my selft right now, and the fact the change that you can get HIV is 1% out of 100 so that is a real fact right there, event the person is HIV positive THE CHANGE IS SMALL . So I suggest to relax I know it's not easy but try to not thinking about it , I not easy for me too, it will be fine

    I hope this may give you hope, because I'm going throuh this right now too, your are not the only one,

    Stay postitive don't think about what not sure yet. in that time you get do something beautiful en make you wife happy, it not about the future it about now you living today not tomorrow so men up and you will be okay!!! Trust me

    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 richard88109

      Posted

      Thank you... I've been reading a lot... And diarrhea is not a conclusive symptom since I have anxiety and stress and I know that makes it happen... Plus this Monday she gets the result and hoping she's HIV-... I honestly don't know what to do... And my mental condition is getting the best of me... Also know by my research that the odds of getting HIV are less than 1% since I'm circumsiced and it was a brief moment... But I also read that the rapid finger prick test I performed it's a good indicator of my status... My wife is my life and this one mistake is what is destroying me... I know... But it's hard to not think about it...

      Thanks for your response I really appreciate it

  • tina69534
    tina69534 jordidr1

    Posted

    Hey, I know how you feel. I understand the temptation of cheating of cheating on someone you love and the guilt that you have to live with, especially when you fear exposure to an infectious disease. The same thing happened to me. I freaked out too. Luckily my test came back negative even though I was almost sure I had HIV. The good thing now is that you realism your mistakes and are ready to live better. Don't worry, am sure you are alright. What I tell myself now is a moment of pleasure is never worth the agony one goes through when you think you may have contracted a disease. Stay blessed man. It is well.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Thank you! I know probably is just my guilt combined with my anxiety and depression (which I had for years) that makes me think I am at a high risk... But still... Hard to believe the stupid mistake I did...

      Like I replied she's getting a rapid test Monday and she got tested last Tuesday and should get an answer by this week... Although I know transmission female to male has low rates there's still a risk! And I wanna get over it... If Monday she is negative I'm good... Let's pray that God forgives me and let me make it up to my wife and God himself...

    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      My heart is breaking for you. Before I summoned up the courage to get tested I was a wreak. I couldn't eat or sleep. I believed every cough or sneeze was a sign of HIV. My husband is a good man and it killed me that I had done what I did. My love for him gave me the courage to do the test. Now that I know am negative, am never going to make that mistake again, God help me. Try to forgive yourself as I know God has definitely forgiven you. Believe that please.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Wow... Thank you for sharing that... I know you understand what I feel... I'll try to do it... Stop thinking and turn my attention over my loving wife... If I am negative... I promise to god I am going to make her the happiest woman on earth... Pray for me... And thank you so much...

      Ps: it's hard to forgive yourself when you make that sort of mistake... I just wanna be negative and move on with my wife

    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      I have made mistakes in life and I'd be the first to say am definitely not perfect. But one thing that will never shake is my absolute and total faith in the mercies of God. You can't live your life in fear or self condemnation. Theres no place to go from there. Accept the forgiveness God has given you because HE has already moved on to someone else seeking His pardon. You see, God is cool like that.And as for your test results, I believe it is negative. You are well. It's ok if you are still worried. I have enough faith for you.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      I'm freaking out... I'm sorry to bother you... But I woke up today and I think I have one side of my throat swollen I can feel it when I swallow... And he stuffy nose since a couple weeks back... This is the worst... I'm so scared
    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      Hey, calm down. It's going to be ok. With the change in the weather conditions and it being flu season, your swollen throat could be nothing. Did you get your test results back yet? I have had a stuffy nose myself for several weeks now. So have my kids and nephews. It's nothing. Please calm down else your anxiety is going to cause you real problems. I prayed for you and you are going to be fine. Please talk to me anytime. You are not bothering me one bit. God loves you. You are well.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      So she got tested this morning in planned parenthood I went to see her right when she came out and she said was negative and she seems pretty calm so I guess she's not lying...

      I'm losing my voice now and my wife has diarrhea since yesterday I'm freaked out

    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      I sent an earlier post with the name of a place you can go that does early hiv detection but it not delivering because it's been moderated. Please don't worry. Please, it's going to be fine.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      I think my anxiety is getting the best of me... I'm having a flu and I'm 70% sure is because of my anxiety

      Thank you so much you're such a good person and a lot of help

    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Just got a dna test... Results will come tomorrow ... The worst few hours of my life...
    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      Hey, you are very welcome. I think about you and your wife and I can only say God is using this experience to bring you closer to Him. When you start feeling overwhelmed especially as you wait for your results, just keep saying these words ' Jesus, I trust you' like a mantra. It's going to be fine. I don't know you but I think you are a good person and things are going to work out.

      What's a DNA test by the way?

    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Rna pcr sorry... I read has a lot of false positive... I don't know... I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for replying to me so much when I'm being anxious and annoying... Thank you truly
    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      Lol, you are not annoying believe me. As you know, before I got tested, I was a mess. I didn't know about this site and I had no one to talk to about my fears. It was the worst time of my life so I know how you are feeling. After I got the all clear, I swore I would help anyone going through such anxiety even if it's just to encourage them. Everything happens for a reason I have come to realize. Keep holding on to the name of Jesus. It is well.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Thank you! Very very much! I'll update you by tomorrow when I get the result... Pray for me
    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      Hey good morning. I just wanted to say it is well with you. Today you will finally find peace as you get a clean bill of health in Jesus name. God is with you.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      Good morning! I got my rna pcr result...

      Non-reactive! I wanna cry... I'm still scared... My anxiety is getting the best of me but is so good to get rna pcr non-reactive and antibody test at 4 weeks negative... I really wanna cry... I'll wait for the 3 month mark to be 100% sure but Dr. Hands field says at 5 week nra pcr negative and antibody negative is 100% conclusive! Thank you so much I wish I could pay you and your husband a dinner on my behalf thank you

    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      Yay!! I am so very happy for I actually have tears in my eyes. This is the best news I have heard all year. Please believe the results and let go of your anxiety. Now you can start building your home again. God is good. Always.
    • tina69534
      tina69534 jordidr1

      Posted

      All her tests came back negative right? I don't think you have anything to worry about. But if you do, why don't you talk to the doctor again.
    • jordidr1
      jordidr1 tina69534

      Posted

      I had a duo test yesterday result came today and was negative... Now I have what it looks like a gum infection... Ugh this is so frustrating... The girl I had sex with got tested neg rapid test and we are waiting for the other one for reassurance... I'm giving up trying to be positive... Every good news have something back coming with it...
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