How can I deal with this?

I am 53 years old and my vitiligo started when I was a small boy maybe 5 or 6 years old. I had 2 spots on my right side near my waste. One spot was about the size of a quarter the other was about the size of your hand. It progressively spread in little spots thru my teens and into my 20s. It had spread all through my groin area by the time I hit 30. It seam to lay dormant during my 30s and when I entered 40s it started to spread in spots on my back but nothing really bad. But omg when I hit my late 40s it suddenly spread like wild fire. I noticed spots on my hands arms legs and neck. It spread in a pattern that made me look like I had burn scars. It did this for a over a year and suddenly my entire body was covered. One morning last summer I was shaving and getting ready for work and when I looked in the mirror my heart about stopped. It spread to my face. I sat down on the toilet and broke down and cried. I had prayed so long that it wouldn't spread to my face and it had. It had spread back to the back of my neck and looked like I had dirty spots on my neck and face. I had been able to hide it until the last couple years but now it's over 100% of my body. I am by no means vain and I am a decent looking guy. That morning devastated me and changed me. My arms face and neck almost look like it has brownish green spots. It's as if the pigment in my skin separated and darkened around the spots. The color doesn't looked natural. My self esteem is totally gone and I hate to look at my self. I've tried with everything in me to move past it and accept it and I can't. My constant reminder is my entire body looking like ink blotches. I have spent 1000s on products to cover it and nothing looks right or works. I've given in and somehow I gotta accept this. Most don't realize how this effects someone. You see commercials for drugs to help with a wide variety of skin conditions but nothing for vitiligo. This condition is so devastating to people and researchers seam to not have any interest in curing or treating it. You never see commercials from drug companies that address it but psoriasis,exama they wast to cure and improve this that are embarrased by it. What about my condition? Why dose none of the researchers try to help us. The condition effects so many people and no one wants to help us. Sorry to post such a long reply. The subject tends to make me emotional and frustrated. Thank you for replying to my post.

No need to apologise at all, I know exactly how it feels. My eldest son, age 20, has it now and that has devastated me even more. I've 3 sons in total. I try and hide it from him how it makes me feel as I just don't want him to suffer like I have. if you go to Drs there's nothing they can say or give you, there's not a lot of help or support out there. I did join a Facebook support group, to be honest it made me feel worse.