I think i've ruined my urethra and subsequently my life

I had a second urethrotomy in November and looking back I realize it was completely u necessary. My first one was back in 2003 I had a pinpoint bulbar stricture that i'm certain I had since I was a teen I am 44 now. Over those 13 years from my first surgey to my second my symtoms never really went away. I had urgency, frequency, and near incontinence at times, but I was always able to empty my bladder. I went back for cystoscopies every now and then to make sure the stricture wasn't coming back. The doctor was always able to pass the scope into my bladder with little resistance, but in my desperation for relief the last time I had a cystoscopy in October of last year I asked the doctor to do another urethrotomy just to widen the area out again and maybe take some pressure off my bladder. He reluctantly agreed and we went ahead with it in November. Imediatlly after surgery I new things were not right. I had imence pain at the distal end of my penis and I new I had been injured there now also. I went home with a cathater for six days. The last day or so I began to feel very irritated in the urethra and wondered if I had gotten an infection. I went in the doctors office got the cath removed and explained my concerns with the nurse about feeling as though I had an infection and that the distal end of my penis had been injured. The nurse sent the doc in and he seemed to not be concerned as if this was normal or something. In the six + months following i've never felt right again. I've had burning, itching, and pain throughout my entire urethra. Back in April went for a urethrogram with a different urologist wich according to him only showed the 2&1/2 cm narrowing where i'd had surgey. I think I went for the x-ray too soon as now I feel as though my entire penile urethra is closing up, it feels very tight and my stream is slowing down. I think inflamation has destroyed my penile urethra now also. And if that is the case am I looking at a two stage urethroplasy? So depressed should of left well enough alone. I hate myself and I have nobody to talk to about this my family don't care and they seem to be on anoyed with me when I talk about it. Oh, and to top it off I had to have a back surgery for a severe herniated disc that was causing me terrible sciatica and wouldn't you know it my feeling of near incontinence has faded.

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