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Im a zombie anymore

Posted , 3 users are following.

rich32120
rich32120

I go through so many moods of emptiness a day, Idk how I use to feel anything and when I do in recent times. I look back and just question it. When I get tired my mind feels almost reset. I quickly lose my train of thought and can't recall that thought. It seems as nothing gives me pleasure, not even self pleasure to say in clean terms. My mind is blank pretty much all day. Im oblivious to new memories, for example I just got done playing smash bros with two buddies. I was completely zoned out, I wasnt even picking up on the characters names and just button mashed to look like I was actually playing. My mind is random. When im at work I bounce from thought to thought or make up unrealistic scenes like conversating with people or getting back with my ex, which has completely blocked anyway of us talking. I can't even fake emotions. I've lost over ten pounds of weight and smoke cigarettes as something to do. And because I can basic function like do chores or go along with the conversation my family considers me normal. My brother gets annoyed when I speak of my problems and says im an exaggerater. My mom is slower mentally than most so she isn't helpful. I had to set up my counselor appointment and pretty much the same now with a psychiatrist. I can't imagine my future and barely my past. I dont recall much of my childhood. Im trapped in my mind. Im just going through feeling like im getting nowhere. I feel completed stupid because even medically diagnosed mh kids have more to offer, even a 8 year old can offer a better conversation or company. Im quiet from this, and through out life people avoid me and just take me as the quiet type. But honestly its because im stupid to pretty much everything from sports to basic hobbies.

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • tess33005
    tess33005 rich32120

    Posted

    I believe that you remarkably brave, Rich. It's bad enough to have dementia and be going through all these frightening symptoms when nobody in you family is empathetic enough to offer you support.

    Your ability to write this post shows that your mind is still working pretty well.

    Have you made any plans on how you'll cope when the dementia gets worse? Is your GP helpful?

    At some point you will be obliged to give an Enduring Power of Attorney to somebody. Have you thought about who you would trust enough to take this on for you?

    Are you attending local Alzheimer's Society meetings, close to your home? Even if you haven't got a diagnosis of Alzheimer's you can still attend.

    It sounds like your family aren't taking this seriously at all. Please message me if you need any more help.                                                Love Tess.

    • rich32120
      rich32120 tess33005

      Posted

      I honestly don't know what I have , and at this point in my life it could be from anything. I have always been bit slower than most people and didn't just keep up with everything like normal do. I am going through detox of weed right now, and 6 months clean of k2. After I lost my gf of 2 years 3 months ago. I went through depression/ anxiety from when I woke up to when I went to sleep. It lasted pretty much till school let out. It went untreated, I still go through deep spells of depression from a lot of things. My family, the fact music and pretty much everything to me seems fake and not pleasurable. I have no real friends or hobbies. My life is dull and lonely.
    • tess33005
      tess33005 rich32120

      Posted

      So maybe this isn't dementia but you have a different diagnosis?

      Can I ask how old you are?

      I see Rockers has replied to you - at least HE understands what you're going through.

      Love Tess

  • Rockers
    Rockers rich32120

    Posted

    I feel pretty similar. For 2 years now and it does get worse. once in a while I jave moments where I feel better but then afterwards I get the feeling it all gets worse.

    Do y ou have probeksm with sleep? I get maybe around 3-4 hours uninterrupted sleep then wake up at always the same time, every night and then I find it really hard to sleep again. My daytime tiredness is getting out of hand too at the moment which makes all the otjet symptoms worse too. I have anxiety, sepecially health anxiety alredy for many years. One thing I noticed though is that I feel better when being in a dark room watching TV or when I can talk with someone for a while. Even though Ioose focus once in a while during the conversation. your symptoms are 24/7? How old are you? my guess would bve that you are in the mid 20s, playing Smash Bros. Great game by the way. You probabaly have somebad anxiety/depression which if left untreated will jsut get worse. I think most people just can`t imagine what depression and anxiety can do to you.

    • Rockers
      Rockers

      Posted

      And as you can see from my earlier reply my spelling is terrible toosmile

    • tess33005
      tess33005 Rockers

      Posted

      I always blame my laptop when my spelling is wrong.

      Ha-di-ha!

    • rich32120
      rich32120 Rockers

      Posted

      Yeah I was losing sleep really bad, and having dreams of my ex. It definitely helps having someone to talk to, if you can keep it going. I am 17 and lately my depression is on and off. In the morning is when my mind wanders really bad while at work. Then once I get home it mellows out. But my mind is still blank. Which always bothers me. Your spelling is alright ha. Got your point across

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