I've fought depression for many years.

Pamelia, i can promise you are not alone. i am 59 now, and was not diagnosed until i was 34. i would like to say that i got treatment and everything was rosy, but there are many problems that the state of depression leaves you in. You will have to change meds many times, you will have to be patient.......  you may develop anxiety. I did. i have not been out of my house for a month.  but that is ok. because i can not listen to people who tell me that i should not be meds, or that i made it up, or to snap out of it any more. i have had to really limit my close friendships, because no one really understands.......unfortuneately it is life long illness. i have lowered the bar for myself. which was difficult becasue i had a successful carrer in the design business. but it was the best thing i could do for my self. i go through life day by day now. and if i feel ok that day, i get a lot down. if i feel horrible, i may stay in the bed all day. i just cannot live worrying about it anymore.....  good luck to you. i hope you have the best meds and therapy available to you.  we just cannot do it alone. it is bigger than us......good luck and god bless.

Hello Pamelia

You are not alone here there are many people with the same condition.

Sad to say you have suffered Depression for many years. My condition started when I was sixteen and since then I have had outbursts since then, I am sixty six years old. So we have generally worn the teashirt for many years.

Are you having any treatment or medications at this time ?

BOB

Sorry to hear your feeling so alone. Unfortunately finding someone to understand can be hard. I know talking with people that know your real feelings is helpful. Are there any group therapy in your area. Perhaps a free meeting for people to discuss there feelings, and get support from others that have depression. I have been on meds for 40 years and will be for life. My childhood was traumatic. I live in a rual area and there are no groups to help. I was in the hospital several times and found that very helpful. All the other women had depression and talking with them was great, they didn't judge and we all understood how this can make you lonley and depressed even more due to the opinion of others. The stigmatism about any form of mental illness is not changing. Going in the hospital is not what people think about because it's the psych ward. The usual time is 5 to 7 days. If you want to try getting help this way, just tell people your going on a vacation. You need time to yourself and want to be alone. If you choose to keep it quiet. It really helped me and I saw I wasn't alone in this illness. Truly hope you feel better soon and keep posting for answers and needs. We need and want to help. Barbara

Hi Pamelia,

You have definitely come to the right place - you are among friends here :-)

We are all different: we've struggled with depression for varying amounts of time, some take meds and others have given up on drugs & therapy; our stories and journeys are never the same. But we all know the daily struggle, the hope that the next day will be better than the last (and sometimes we get to experience those better days). You've come to a safe place where you can feel free to share your own experience & pain and we won't judge. Are you receiving any treatment at the moment? What can we do to help you? You are not alone. x

Hi Pamela... totally know where you are coming from, but have to admit I have a very sympathetic family and extended family.  I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 8.5yrs ago after my daughter passed away suddenly.  I have been on many different drugs some gave me severe unhealthy thoughts and one I was on for some years made me feel emotionalless and always wanting to be left alone in my room, that one a pyschiatrist put me on after being on it for about 6years I asked my dr if there was something else as I hated feeling like I was.  My dr put me on a newish drug which I'm much happier with .. but I still suffer with actually wanting to be left alone all the time!

I'm probably actually a bit different to you as I don't feel so alone but I wont to be alone and have cancelled so many things as I can't be bothered.

Thinking of you... Tracey

hi, pamela. the last two years, i have started to have side effects of not caring and wanted to be alone all of the time. i stay in my room all day, and have isolated myself from all friends and relationshipsl this is different from depresseion aothough it is i horrible way to live. i have lost interest in life. i just don;t carel is this what you are describing and have any antidepressants made a difference at all?