1. Community
  2. Cancer
  3. Prostate Cancer

Husband wont go to see GP

Posted , 9 users are following.

karen18935
karen18935

My husband is 62, for the past 18 mnths he has had bleeding and discharge from his penis and is has worsened. His lower back is now starting to hurt.  He refuses to see our GP as he is frightened.d.  Ive tried everything to get him to get help but nothing is working.Ive even been to the GP myself but they cant do anything unless he goes himself. Not sure what I can do Im not even sure these are symptoms of cancer - Im reading prostate cancer has no symptoms.  Any help appreciated.

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • craig84609
    craig84609 karen18935

    Posted

    PC has no symptoms in the early stages of the disease. If there is blood and lower back pain it may have spread to the bones. How long has this been going on? If a short time it could be a kidney stone. It is not uncommon to have blood and pain in your back just below the ribs. If the pain is in his groin or hips he needs to get this checked out asap. I hope that it is a stone and not PC. Us men are a bit reluctant to go to the doctor due to fear of painful and invasive tests, but he needs some help and support from his family. Maybe that will get him to go. See if he will go if you go with him.
    • karen18935
      karen18935 craig84609

      Posted

      Thank you for replying.  It has been going on now for about 18 month to two year that I know of. It happens every day, blood and discharge.  No severe pain in his goin or hips, just lower back. I am starting to worry now as he wont see the doctor, refuses point blank to even talk to me about it now. Ive offered to go with him but he just ignores me. I know he is frightened but he is adamnt he wont get it checked and this is frighteneing me.  
    • craig84609
      craig84609 karen18935

      Posted

      I am sorry. You probably feel helpless at this point. 18 months or more I doubt it is a stone. He could have Prostatitis, but he needs to get to the point where he can't take it anymore and he will seek help. I just hope that he gets help before it is to late. Maybe if he knew how much this makes you suffer he will do it for you. I wish I had a solution for you. The blood and low back pain are warning signs of PC, but they can be a sign of infection of the prostate. It will get to the point where he will be unable to void urine and at that point he will have to seek help. Hang in there Karen.

    • karen18935
      karen18935 craig84609

      Posted

      Thank you for taking the time to write.  I havent shared this wth anyone as I dont want them to embarrass him so it really helps that I can get it off my chest.  Maybe I just have to keep an eye on him for now.  But thank you so much, I dont feel so alone with it all now.
  • philip1950
    philip1950 karen18935

    Posted

    Hi karen, your husband is obviously worried that he may have cancer and it is quite common for both men and women to deny the problem.Most of us can really sympathise with him. Why not introduce him to this web site so he can read and communicate with others who are in the same situation. Accurate knowledge is a great help in getting to understand this illness and the treatments that are available for PC.

    Best wishes to both of you.

  • rolf61809
    rolf61809 karen18935

    Posted

    Maybe get a list from the doctor of questions and tests that might be needed. That might help with his fear of the unknown.
  • ES28567
    ES28567 karen18935

    Posted

    Karen, my heart goes out to both you and your husband. I personally know what your husband is going through (as do almost all of the men on this forum).

    If you private message me your phone #, I will be glad to talk to your husband personally and answer any questions he has.

    I am not a doctor or pretend to have all the answers but I can share my experience and knowledge and talk with him man to man. You are also welcome to be in on the conversation if he is acceptable to that.

  • louise1106
    louise1106 karen18935

    Posted

    Hi

    My husband had back ache for over year no other symptoms, he would not go doctors so I made an appointment. He went and his blood test showed high psa level. He was then sent for mri and bone scan etc. He was then diagnosed with prostate cancer at 57. He had prostectomy in Jan and is doing well. He needs to go to the doctors, it maybe something minor or not but sooner diagnosis is essential.

    • tony96045
      tony96045 louise1106

      Posted

      Hi Louise, Can I ask what your husbands PSA was? I'm currently suffering a bad hip and back and freaking out a bit....My doc thinks it's bursitis, even though I'm having prostate tests.....I assume the fact that they removed his prostate, means his backache was just a backache.....Just hoping that mine is an overactive imagination. Thanks

    • louise1106
      louise1106 tony96045

      Posted

      Hi

      His psa was 16, and he just want because he has backache for such some time so they requested blood tests and then that's when found out it could be prostate. After further tests that's when it was concluded

    • tony96045
      tony96045 louise1106

      Posted

      Hi Louise, thanks for replying, I'm still puzzled, are you saying that his backache was caused by Prostate cancer that had spread?....If so I'm surprised that he had a prostatectomy....or was it just an incidental backache that now made the docs look for cancer?

         Thanks

  • tony96045
    tony96045 karen18935

    Posted

     Hi Karen, 2 and a half years ago My doc wanted to refer me to the hospital because of a PSA of 3.1 (I was 56 and the cut-off was 3.0) I closed my eyes to the potential problem and persuaded her to retest me every 6 months instead of annually....Everything was fine for the next 3 visits, 3.1 every time....left it a year and then this June went for the test.....7.5.....Major panic....Now had a battery of tests: Cystoscopy(neg) ......CT Urogram (neg)

    ?.....MRI (something on scan....Oops) Now had 1 biopsy (neg)....Now this week going for template biopsy where they knock you out and take around 40 samples...Not looking forward to that one bit, plus this last 3 weeks have developed lower back and hip pain which is really freaking me out.....Now needless to say wishing I'd listened to the doc 2 and a half years ago....Drag your husband to the Doc if need be...The sooner he finds out the problem the better.....it may be something benign, in which case breathe a sigh of relief....If it's something sinister the earlier you catch it the better.

  • tony96045
    tony96045 karen18935

    Posted

     Hi Karen, 2 and a half years ago My doc wanted to refer me to the hospital because of a PSA of 3.1 (I was 56 and the cut-off was 3.0) I closed my eyes to the potential problem and persuaded her to retest me every 6 months instead of annually....Everything was fine for the next 3 visits, 3.1 every time....left it a year and then this June went for the test.....7.5.....Major panic....Now had a battery of tests: Cystoscopy(neg) ......CT Urogram (neg)

    ?.....MRI (something on scan....Oops) Now had 1 biopsy (neg)....Now this week going for template biopsy where they knock you out and take around 40 samples...Not looking forward to that one bit, plus this last 3 weeks have developed lower back and hip pain which is really freaking me out.....Now needless to say wishing I'd listened to the doc 2 and a half years ago....Drag your husband to the Doc if need be...The sooner he finds out the problem the better.....it may be something benign in which case breathe a sigh of relief, if it's something sinister the earlier you catch it the better. Good luck

  • james_74169
    james_74169 karen18935

    Posted

    Hi Karen

    I know how he feels. I was ,stuborn too when I started to develope symptoms of a potential problem. BUT, I love my wife and she finally convinced me to see a doctor.

    I knew it had something to do with my bladder/prostate. So I went straight to a Urologist.That was 2 1/2 years ago. I still have problems with blood in my urine and back problems but at least I know how to deal with it. If treated early it can be taken care of with little side effects. SOOO try and talk to him again. Good luck 

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.