Married to a functioning alcoholic.
Posted , 13 users are following.
Please somebody help me. I have been married to my husband for 20 years. He has always enjoyed a drink, maybe 3/4 cans of lager after work, over the years it has increased to a bottle of wine and 4 cans every day. I worked out over a week he is having 100 units. His behaviour is disgusting, he's weed the bed, wet himself on the sofa, the list is endless. Myself and our boys have pleaded with him to stop, he won't admitt he has a problem. I've threatened to leave him and he'll go a couple of nights without drinking, but the excuses always creep back in. What do i do? I'm now on antidepressants and having councelling, I'm not sure i even love him anymore, please somebody help me.
2 likes, 98 replies
vickylou alice80348
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alice unfortunately you've joined the forum when the website doesn't work properly
vickylou alice80348
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ADEfree vickylou
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Hmmm. An hour later, I'm not having a problem posting. Have you tried restarting your tablet, Vickylou? Sometimes they need that to clear their little minds.
vickylou ADEfree
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ADE I've tried absolutely everything, iPad, iPhone, laptop Apple Mac and it's just the same. Am now chatting with paper fairy, misssy by email and now Alice.
i got as far as welcome to the forum Alice and up pops the dreaded message
vickylou
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I've just typed a sentence to you and it went
ADEfree vickylou
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vickylou ADEfree
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ADEfree alice80348
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sharon07214 ADEfree
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Yes thank you for asking!
Alice please reply as the advise will vary a bit depending on where you are situated. Equally there is help out there along the same lines for this situation!! You just need to know where to look! Xx💞
vickylou sharon07214
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sharon07214 vickylou
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You are obviously experiencing difficulty posting. I too am in the UK but ok so far.
Your advice is obviously sound so I do hope Alice benefits from it soon, that is fully soon.
Xx
alice80348 ADEfree
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I'm in the UK, he won't go and get any kind of help, completely blanks it, even though he knows he stands to lose me and everything we've ever worked for.
sharon07214 alice80348
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Ok. Where does one start?
Your husband obviously has a problem. However he is beyond helping himself. However much he loves you and the boys he is only able to 'hold it together' for as long as the 'DETOX' enables him to. Once the absence of alcohol 'kicks in' he has to 'sink or swim'! Without the help of experienced support he will revert to the coping mechanism of alcohol because otherwise he will flounder.
Hopefully by the time you read this someone else will have emailed you. Please help him by contacting a support group. In the UK you can go to recovery groups nationwide for help with alcohol or drugs. Depending on how severe your dependency is, they will guide you through detox etc. Most importantly they will hep you/one discover the root causes etc through counselling.
Please let us know how you get on. Most importantly please don't give up on your husband. You may need to 'have a break' to cope yourself but keep reassuring him that you love him but hate the alcohol and what that makes him become!
Al the very best
xx
vickylou sharon07214
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vickylou
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sharon07214 vickylou
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Yes I did. I was so pleased to hear the 'success' story and how your husband loved you through it, then consequently your children.
Have I missed something?
Xx
vickylou
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is what should happen, the reality is that won't happen, unless you pay
vickylou sharon07214
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sharon07214 vickylou
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I guess it is the same in the UK. It is free but depends on where exactly you live.
Sadly!
X
vickylou
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before the text is lost, hence all the replys. No you've not missed
sharon07214 vickylou
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I am not sure I understand? Sorry!
Seriously don't want to upset or offend anyone; I too am struggling. X
vickylou sharon07214
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vickylou
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vickylou
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vickylou
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is why I asked her to email me. I'm. bowing out guys and leaving
alice80348 sharon07214
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Hi, thank you for your reply, you're right, once he's gone a few days without the booze it's like he has to have it, makes any excuse be it, going out for tea, you name it, he's got an excuse. I'm having councelling atm for me, haven't got the energy at all to help him when he won't even admitt to himself he has an illness which sounds very harsh I know but I need to concentrate on me just now to try and build myself up a bit. X
olivo alice80348
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Mine has to "pop out" to get his lottery ticket, even though we may have been out all day! If I say I'll come, he goes into a fit !!