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My boyfriend has Crohn's disease, advice on how to support him?

Posted , 4 users are following.

holsteve
holsteve

Hello, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now and for the past 2 months we've been dating long distance. He was diagnosed with Crohn's disease this past summer, and I really need advice on how to help and support him more. I feel as though I only stress him out and make it worse sometimes with dealing with my own problems without putting into perspective that whatever I am going through, he is going through worse. Any advice on how to help someone you love with Crohn's disease without overwhelming them/burning yourself out? Thank you

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • decndor
    decndor holsteve

    Posted

    First of all let me say that he is lucky to have someone like you who cares so much.

    ​Just being there for him and understanding what he is going through will be such a great help. He will be concerned as to whether you are prepared to put up with his health problerms.   I have had crohns for 52yrs and my wife has been a rock throughout. I doubt if I would have survived without her support. I was diagnolsed before we got married, which was 50 yrs on the 1st oct 2016. in actual fact we had to cancel our first wedding date as I was rushed into hospital to have my first operation.. As you say, you have your own problems and hopefully he will be there for you.. With that kind of support for each other you should get on fine. You dont say much about your boyfriends crohns,like how long he has been suffering from this illness and what kind of treatment he is receiving. Fortunately there is more medication available now than when I was diagnosed.Just keep being there for each other..

  • nannylin
    nannylin holsteve

    Posted

    Be there, be understanding when social arrangements have to be cancelled at the last minute and when he suddenly needs the loo don't do what my husband often does and ask what he has eaten ! This drives me mad it implies that I have done something to cause the problem ! Diet does play a large part in the condition but I get fed up feeling ill is my fault. Feeling unreasonably tired is also something to understand especially if he hasn't done anything to warrant it or not look particularly tired. Be supportive and listen it's a hard condition to manage and live with. It sounds like he is lucky to have you. Good luck to you both.

  • UKMattG
    UKMattG holsteve

    Posted

    It's great that you're actively seeking advice!

    Life must be tough for my girlfriend of 5 years (just recently becoming my wife) and it's usually more challenging when either of us make assumptions e.g. my partner doesn't trouble me with her problems but I know something's wrong and would like to at least understand what they are. Or where I don't express that I'm feeling poor which may make me grouchy and leave my partner thinking I'm just grumpy!

    One of the best things you can do is to check in every so often, be open, don't assume, and as someone mentioned just because your partner might look ok, maybe he's still feeling ill on the inside.

    And lastly, don't be afraid to have your own time, showing you care is great but don't sacrifice going out or doing the things you love. Balance is important for everyone.

    Keep up the good work I reckon!

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