Missing the bowl?

Posted , 8 users are following.

I'm not sure if it's just age or a result of genital shrinkage from the hormone therapy or both but my husband seems to be missing the toilet bowl quite a bit in the last few months. He refuses my encouragement to sit when he urinates and as a result I have resorted to putting paper towels down on the floor in our powder room which is the most used bathroom in the house. Not a good look and he even frequently misses them as well. Any suggestions.

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • Posted

    I laughed when I saw your post, though, a serious subject. My daughters father in law had prostate cancer, and always missed the toilet when he visits her place. Friends would ask what to do about it. We thought about paper towels, but, as you say, not a good look, as well as stinky. We just gave up and mopped when he left. He too refused to sit down, and for some reason, he could not direct at all.

    Maybe the urethra stricture from the prostate cancer. I thought he had a mental issue as well, due to not being even slightly reasonable, knowing he is making a mess and not cleaning up. Just walking out of a shared toilet, leaving the mess is not acceptable. Maybe you need a quiet word to his doctor?

  • Posted

    Dear Melly,

    That is difficult. Hormone therapy upsets men far more and in many small ways as well as major ways. poor Willy does shrink. If he has had radiotherapy that does upset the flow. When the flow pressure is light the soft valve at the end of the willy does not open properly and a missdirected spray results. I used a wide necked bottle (cranberry juice came in it) and that kept things tidy. It also looks non-medical.

    In general life changes from the point of diagnosis onwards. I suggest you also look out for signs of depression. 1/4 of men are diagnosed with depression by 12 months into HT. It is anybody's guess how many more actual suffer depression and have not been diagnosed. My wife complained for months that I was grumpy. Eventually it was so bad I did get treatment. By then it was sever depression and suicide was an imminant risk. I am off TH now and myself once more.

    With best wishes for you both

  • Posted

    Hi

    You could tell him to use one of those funnels, you know the ones you fill the car with!!

    Seriously sitting is the best and if he want sit tell him to clean the floor.

    It's got nothing to do with shrinking, Dribbling is common more so after OP.

    I am recovered from inconsistency but still get a dribble in public toilets no matter how much you shake the old fella😱 If he still gets it UP! You should know if it's of a different size!!

    Honestly come on is it the worst thing in the world, put a small towel which looks nice down and then you can wash it.

    I wish him well with his treatment which should be uppermost in both your priorities

  • Posted

    How old is he?
    • Posted

      Soon to be 71!  It's so not fun having to use this only bathroom on this floor to say nothing of letting anyone else!  He even misses the many paper towels I've tried to strategically place.  Guess I could put a large rug or towel down but then would need to washed daily to avoid smelling.  BTW bathroom is close to kitchen ::-(

  • Posted

    I suspect the responses you get here will tend to 'take sides' - those who tell you it is a petty thing, and those, like me, who think he's being unnecessarily stubborn and inconsiderate. Sitting to pee is better for many of us with these later life issues anyway. Perhaps you can come to some deal. Is there something you do that irritates him? If you show you are willing to modify some aspect of your behaviour to please him, it's a more positive start. If he then doesn't keep his side of the deal, you can revert!

    Best of luck!

    • Posted

      Another thought - if you do an internet search with the words "gentleman sit to pee", there is quite a good Daily Telegraph article from 3 Mar 2015 on this very subject, which you could show him.

  • Posted

    This is common among sufferers and it mentions it in the literature I got when first diagnosed. Sitting down is the best option and as there is usually no one else around what is there to be macho about? Tell him we all have to make compromises when cancer strikes. Good luck.
  • Posted

    Sorry to here about the problem

    I had aggresive prostate cancer

    So i hadradical prostactomy

    Prostate semi vesiculs &lymph nodes

    Removed .i am 66 and fit for age

    I also had this problem

    My penis is 1 inch shorter also

    The end hole seems more to point to my legs.after the bowl missing ,i now sit

    Down to P .even this is a .

    Its slower than before and there is always

    5 or 6 slight spurts after.i have to roll up some paper place hand between legs before standing & wait until it stops.

    Very frustrating.when i go scuba diveing

    I leave the uridom on just take the pipe &

    Leg bag of this gives me about 1-2

    Inches more . Perhaps a uridom sheath

    Would help you direct your pee

    Hope its of some help

    My psa was 18.6 gleason 9 before opp

    Now 8 months on psa 0.05

    So a bit of bad peeing is the least of my

    Wories

    All the best wishes

    • Posted

      0.05 you should have no worries!

      Be 😊 it says you have No cancer

      Wish you continued recovery and continued 0.05 / 0.03 is the lowest depending on lab that does the test 0.07 is considered free in Germany be 😊

      Ik

    • Posted

      Yes ive been the luckyest man

      One of my dive buddys had pros/cancer sujested o had psa check . So i did doc rang me 3 days later , mri , full body bone scan,ultrasound scan & prostatic biopsy 2 drg previesly .leading to

      Radical non nerve sparing prostactomy.open from belly buton to pubic area . So lucky to have spoted

      It soon still confined in both lobes of

      Prostate. I wear a leg bag if going on long car trip but manage with pads most days . The dribling is slowly getting beter . Back scuba diveing after five months,my buddy and my

      Surgeon mr sharm saved me from early grave🎉😊

  • Posted

    Two words - doctor visit - could be prostate bph/ cancer , bladder/ kidney issues, pelvic floor issues...rule all those out then listen to the ' funny answers'.

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