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My Anxiety and depression has made me scared of everything!

Posted , 5 users are following.

Teasdaler
Teasdaler

My name is Rachael, I am 32 years old. I have had anxiety since I was about 10 years old, it has gotten so bad, I have become just about scared of everything, including my own shadow. I am scared to go to the drs as am scared they'd think I am a hypocondriac, I am scared of heights, open water (rivers, lakes, swimming pools, oceans, ect), people, being out the house for more than 10 mins at a time, being around family, fair ground rides, loud noises, spiders, the list could go on but I won't bore you all too much. I have social anxiety on top of things, I can just about make it to work and back, I only work with a small group of people so can just about handle it, as I work nights, it makes life that little bit easier. I can't say I am suisidal even though I have had dark thoughts as I am too scared of pain and hurting myself and that overcomes any tendancys I have towards suiside. Does anyone else go through this?? I feel like I am alone and that when I talk to people about it, they seem to think I am just being stupid and idiotic which doesn't help matter, I do feel completely cut off from the world.

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • dee53012
    dee53012 Teasdaler

    Posted

    i feel your pain Teasdaler.

    I have been treated like a hypocondriac my entire life. I am so upset with the medical communty and my family, I don't want any of them near me anymore.

    almost everyone who knows me has told me to go to the doc and get some meds for pain, but there is no way, not after how I have been repeatedly treated so badly by them.

    I have social anxiety and severe depression on top of a bunch of autoimmune diseases.  i am supposed to be getting treatment, but am too afraid to go to the doc and get meds, as the meds scare me too, for good reason. I have had so many bad reactions to them. 

    i stay home most of the time. The woman i rent from, who lives upstairs, takes me shopping each week and when I can't make myself go, i give her my list. I am so grateful for her.

    The oddest thing happend, when I was given a  diagnosis i felt releif.  Now I calm myself with the wonderful thoughts that this will be over soon.  

    i promised I'd not kill myself to someone, but it is hard keeping it. I might have to renege some day, but I will tell her if I can't keep that promise. She understands completely.

    You are not stupid or an idiodic, your pain is real.  "mental illness is a physical illness that manifests itself in the brain". when doctors realize that, things will change. Until everyone is educated, folks with mental illness will be treated as mangy dogs.

    I hope you can find a way to releive yourself of this terrible disease.  It has ruined my life. 

    hugz

      

     

    • louiselost
      louiselost dee53012

      Posted

      I have autoimmune diseases also, and you're absolutely right about mental illness - there SHOULD be more done about this 'silent' disease.

      I have a very understanding doctor which is comforting.  They're not all terrible - search around to find one that truly cares about your well-being.

      And NEVER think about killing yourself - you're a unique 'you' and the world, no matter how chilling it can be, can sometimes surprise you with a small joy.  Bask in it, fight it and never give inconfused

  • louiselost
    louiselost Teasdaler

    Posted

    Hi Teas, it sounds like you have general anxiety disorder, and to not feel cut off from the world you need to seek help with either talk therapies or medication from your doctor.

    You are young and shouldn't put up with this struggle on a daily basis.  I found that when I was feeling low years ago, my doctor prescribed Prozac and it instantly lifted my spirits.  Take one step at a time and try not to let it overwhelm you somehow.  You're not alone in this and you deserve to have a calming life where you can enjoy the world again.  I'm sure you will receive peace of mind with help to shut out those fearful moments.  Don't let fear winconfused

  • donashford
    donashford Teasdaler

    Posted

    I get you completely, I jump at things I wouldn't have bothered about a few weeks ago, my onset has been really sudden. I'm even scared of going to the park with my dog in daylight and I don't know why!!

    I'm different in some ways, for example I'm not so bad at work as I'm usually busy and have lively people around me to distract me.

    I think we both need to be honest with ourselves and go to our doctors. xx

  • borderriever
    borderriever Teasdaler

    Posted

    Teasdaler

    If you are having dark thoughts on occasions, you are depressed and need to make an expedition to see your GP.

    With your problems there are coping exersises you could learn and your GP can arrange some help for you

    Breathing Exersises may help you as will relaxation Techniques although in this instane you need to see your GP who can arrange a CPN to take you under there wing

    Go see your GP make a list of your problems so you do not miss anything.

    Let us know how you get on

    BOB

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