feel like ending it all

Posted , 8 users are following.

hi anyone,im 60,had gallstones in my early 20's & had 68 removed..still got them in a jar! since then ive had numerous stomach problems & pains and bladder/kidney infections,but in last 2 months started getting excrutiating stabbing hot pain in my right groin.it came & went but because i was diagnosed type 1insulin dependent last year i assumed the pain was neuropathic.my foot is so painful & i have to hop so i put the groin pain together with foot/leg pain.i carried on taking my 1a day gabapentin then a week ago the stabbing became constant and agonisingly worse by every day.i cant get a gp appnt till next week if im lucky.ive sat crying and screaming with every new stab but now the agony is in my back.im sweating then freezing,my right leg has gone dead..my wee is nearly black & my stomach is now killing me.im morphine intolerant so have had accupan & nurofen but the pain is unimaginable.i can hardly move.if i lie down im in worse back pain.i sit up and side/stomach pain.my daughter lives with me & shes a heroin addict & said last night..thats it mum im ringing an ambulance.after explaining my symptons she was told its not an emergency and to see my doctor..if only.im on esa and cant afford a taxi to out of hours doctor 4 miles away and a doctor wouldnt come out & told my daughter to take me to A&E....in a taxi.she has got thyroid cancer and is very ill herself.i just sat and have cried all night,still am now.i googled in how many accupan can i take in one go and came upon this forum.after reading so many comments i feel that i have a hernia.i really felt like asking my girl to give me a shot of heroin honest to God thats how much pain im in.i cant ring doctor till morn and then ive got to beg.sorry its a long talk but im desperate.say a little prayer for us both.thank you so much for your time.

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi mrs de winter,

    I hope you get medical care soon. Nerve pain is so horrible!! I declare Gods healing for you and your daughter.

    Shalom, lynne

    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your very kind words and empathy,i am truly touched.im afraid i haven't been able to resolve anything as i had to see an emergency doctor this morning who declared i didnt have a hernia but more likely have sprained my groin muscle,that was the "good news" the bad news "oh accupan painkillers aren't available anymore on the nhs (uk) & because you are opiate intolerant all i can prescribe is ibuprofen". i said is that it then?im in agony and have to just accept your diagnosis?i had to hop out(my foot neuropathy) and went home and cried.im in bed in agony and have just given up.i'll post again soon if im still around.God bless.xxx

    • Posted

      Mrs de winter, I know its so hard to want to continue on in such pain and fear. The hopelessness wants to take over. I went on for 2 1/2 years and the doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me. A friend said I was praying for you and I think you should stop taking ativan, I had been taking it for insomnia. Doing my own research I found I was in tolerence withdrawls. Then I finally got a doctor to order an endoscopy and the hiatal hernia was discovered. It has been 4 1/2 years since the problems began and I am sooo much better. I pray that God will send angels to you and your wonderful daughter and give you His strength and healing. Lynne
  • Posted

    Dear Mrs de winter,

    I am praying very hard for you and sending you good thoughts. You are so very sick-I can only say that fasting, eating raw and cooked vegetables, veggie broth and water ...Helped me. Best of luck to you.

    • Posted

      Dear amanda,thank you for replying to me and after seeing my doctor who offered me no hope i have come home and will be trying the methods you suggested.its been a horrible hard day and i have no faith in my nhs nasty superior doctor so thank God there are people out there like you who at least offer support.God Bless you.
  • Posted

    Oh man! I'm so sorry for you. I hope you get pain relief drugs. If I were you, I would live completely drugged all the time; don't be afraid of choosing this way.

    My sincerely sympathy from Chile

    • Posted

      dear fabian,you sound like you know how i feel and it really meant so much that someone so far away actually cares enough about a strangers problems. i saw a useless condescending doctor today who more or less dismissed me as a no one.the nhs here in uk have apparantly withdrawn the only painkiller i can take and i wasn't offered anything other than paracetamol really so the thought of living in a "drug"hazed "way of life like my daughter seems pretty much the only way to go.im down at the moment and am probably only saying that because i cant see a future with all this pain.im really grateful for your reply and thank you from my heart.my daughter says hi fabien,u sound genuinly nice. best wishes from the uk.

  • Posted

    I am so, so sorry you are going through so much pain. Anyone reading your post could not understand totally unless they have experienced something similar. Ending it all is not the answer. I am praying for you and your daughter. You both have serious problems. There are no problems God can not fix, no sickness He cannot heal. God sends us doctors to help us. You have just not met the right one. The word of God says Matthews 28:20 "I am with you, even unro the end of the world." Keep praying and continue to find the right doctor. This might be a test God is allowing you to go through. Don't give up and have faith that God will answer your prayers. No matter how many health problems you have, God is able to heal.

    I have experience so many health problems and so much pain for many, many years. I still experience pain, but it's not what it use to be. I never gave up and I won't give up and I pray you won't give up. If you have a bible, please read the entire 70th Psalm. Read it over and over and believe and see the goodness of the Lord. He will deliver you. I'm sorry I wrote so much, but this hit me very hard. Again, I will continue to pray for you and your daughter. Please have her read as well and pray together. Through your pain, just call the name JESUS. There is power in His name. If the pain is so hard to bear and you find yourself crying, don't worry, God hears your tears. You can't get away from him. Be blessed!

    • Posted

      Dear bonita,thank you for your lovely reply.i had no positive result from my doctor who didnt really offer me anything but i do have my catholic faith and like you i will carry on praying for my daughter & myself.i have decided im going to change my doctor tomorrow to a different surgery and hope that they will be more underdstanding & supportive.im going to take each day as it comes from now on.take care & God Bless you.xx

    • Posted

      Hello mre de winter,

      I am elated to hear the change in you. You are right, your faith will make you whole. Life is so precious and God wants to prosper in every aspect of our lives, including our health. Keep holding on and I will continue to pray for both of you. When I pray, I ask the Lord to bless everyone I see today, everyone I speak to today, everyone I think about today, and now, everyone I write to today. This prayer covers a multitude of people. Be blessed.

  • Posted

    Hello it sounds like a hernia or bowel blockage or intestinal twisting. All of which is an emergency! If your pain is that bad you must go to the ER. Make the hospital listen to you. You have to be diligent in that. It is your body and no one can understand your body better than you.

    I pray that you get help and healthy again soon. God bless!

    • Posted

      Hello sonji16627,

      I like your response to mrs de winter. She needs all the support she can get. Be blessed!

  • Posted

    No-one should have to endure pain of the intolerable kind you describe. I agree with some of the other replies: go back to A&E, go and camp out at your GP's surgery, whatever it takes - and don't take 'no' for an answer. Don't let people dismiss you - you need medical help and emotional help too. If you are also caring for your daughter (sounds like you are), you should also be entitled to support as her "carer" - local social services (if you're in the UK) should help. Hang in there. You can get help and it will get better.

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