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In love but my partner doesn't understand depression and anxiety

Posted , 6 users are following.

lisab12
lisab12

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. Glad I found it. I have depression and anxiety and recently started on AD's which is helping alot. i would  say I am highly functionig as i manage a very busy department. A question for everyone who has a partner, do you find them supportive? My partner has never dealt with anxiety or depression and when i talk about it i dont think he truly undrstands, I am also a step parent to his 2 young boys, I often feel left out.. I am seeing a counsellor next week to talk things through. Any thoughts? 

thanks

Lis

3 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • Jackhammer
    Jackhammer lisab12

    Posted

    Hi Lis.

    Speaking from experience my wife was very supportive. She was somewhat surprised when I confided in her that I was feeling low as she didn't see any major difference in me.

    I managed to keep a reasonably brave face on the outside but inside I was a mess and knew it.

    After speaking with her I felt better and it was the catalyst i needed to go and see my Doctor.

    It's very, very hard explaining to your other half how depression feels, especially if they have never experienced it themselves, but they will help you, talk it over and be there for you.

    Don't be shy to spill all your thoughts to the counsellor, that's what they are there for.

    Hope it all goes well and let us know how it goes.

     

  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 lisab12

    Posted

    Hi there ive had dep & anx on and off 4 many yrs. Ive been with a patrner who understood & one not. I think if you have never felt how we do its v hard to comprehend and still to this day i cant comprehend mental illness is still a taboo type of pull urself together for some. But i think the counsellor will be someone you can be open with without judgement & hopefully in time yr partner may begin to understand/ empathise. Hope so. Good look at your first appt xx

    • lisab12
      lisab12 amanda35274

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply. It doesnt help that he is having second thoughts about having children with me. We had a big talk last night and it looks like his past may be comtributing to how he feels about thr future and he is going to explore this by seeing a counsellor aswell. I often blame myself e.g my depression and anxiety ruin my relationships. But its more than that. am looking forward to my first appt as will be good to get some perspective. Thanks again

      Lis

  • borderriever
    borderriever lisab12

    Posted

    Looking after step children can be a hard thankless task until they begin to feel they can trust you

    Depression and some problems caused by Anxiety can be a puzzler for many Partners who have not seen the like before, education can be very hard work especially when some may feel the condition is because of a neurosis.

    Your apointment tomorrow will be a getting to know you. Make a list of your concerns and that will make it easier to explain how you are feeling and how to meet your fears and concerns

    Good Luck for tomorrow

    BOB

    • lisab12
      lisab12 borderriever

      Posted

      Thanks BOB. Yes the kids have been a challenge to get used too but i wouldnt have it any other way. You are right i often do not feel appreciated and this is am ongoing iasue i have with my partner. It doesnt help that i have A & D. Thanks fr the advice i will defintely right down the things i need to discuss with the counsellor next week.

      Lis

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 lisab12

      Posted

      Aww well counselling for u both could be a great start. Life in itself & relationships are hard enough. Then throw dep anx stress in the recipe its all bound to have a knock on effect. Wishing u lots of luck xx

    • lisab12
      lisab12 amanda35274

      Posted

      Thanks Amanda. I need your luck haha. Unfortunately after a conversation today we have decided to spend a week apart. I am going to stay with a family member as we both cant get appointments for counselling until next week and we dont want to cause so much strain on eachother in the meantime. 

      Lis

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 lisab12

      Posted

      Aww no. X sorry to hear that but a little headspace till u both get an appt cud be the making of u both. X hope so. X

  • amanda35274
    amanda35274 lisab12

    Posted

    Hi lisa have u had ur appts yet been thinkin about how u both got on this week? Xx
    • lisab12
      lisab12 amanda35274

      Posted

      Hi Amanda,

      I moved back in but we still have not resolved things. i am seeing a counsellor tomorrow and he is seeing one next week. He is going away with his kids this weekend and I have a friends wedding so the space continues. I basically tried to end the relationship tonight but he wants more time to work out if he wants a child with me in the future. 

      Had a pretty good week at work. how about you? thank you for your support!!!

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 lisab12

      Posted

      Ohh bless u well thts a start if hes at least thinking about the baby thing. Maybe theres hope xx try have a gud tym @ the wedding destress a bit & im full of cold n feel yukky but slowly improving on the dep / anx front... its a start. Being on heres helping thank u too :0) good luck tomorrow x

    • lisab12
      lisab12 amanda35274

      Posted

      Hope you are recovering from your cold! 

      I saw a counsellor today, she gave me some good advice. My partner is away with his boys this weekend. I feel like the fluxo is helping me cope better with this uncertainty- i would be a mess otherwise! The baby thing is a big deal. He lost his sister to cancer 2 months ago and we have been through alot so I feel he is grieving and going through his own stuff. I have faith we can get through this. It is nice to hear you are doing well, i feel the support has helped alot on this forum. people are so nice. 

      thank you for listening to me Amanda

    • amanda35274
      amanda35274 lisab12

      Posted

      Hey. No its a bad cold this tym coughing away.. good to hear the counselling went well. And no problem a problem shared & all that xx grief will def be adding to his probs that was the catalyst to the start of this bout of major dep amongst other things losing my stepdad to cancer in august. He was pretty much there after losing my real dad to cancer at 8 yrs old so it opened up lots of bad memories. Im getting there now and want u to have a great weekend. If u nd to talk u know where i am. ?? xx

    • lisab12
      lisab12 amanda35274

      Posted

      I am sorry to hear of your loss x I do think grief shows in different ways. My partner thinks he is dealing with her death. I have had a pretty good weekend considering how uncertain everything is. I am expecting the worse unfortunately as I feel like he has given up on us. Fingers crossed he gets some good advice from the therapist.

      That is good to hear you are getting through this bout of depression. I feel like the flux is really helping me deal with this x

      Thanks Amanda i am here aswell to chat aswell if you need too

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