Should I ask my doc to increase dose?

Thank you michelle.

I am just so fed up I think. I really want to be back at work but I know I can't at the moment

I have diazepam 2 mg to take for the side effects, I can't take beta blockers because of other things I have wrong!!

The other stuff I have is nothing compared to this!!!

Think it's gonna be another long night ahead, my mind is going at a million miles an hour!

Your right this site is fab, I was a bit reluctant at first but everyone is so supportive and it is a comfort to know I'm not the only one going through this!

Not that I would wish this on anyone!!

Suppose I will just need to bear with it for now and see what the nurse says on Friday.

Just thought if they increased the dose it might work quicker??

Thank you again xx

No problem yes you will be fed up, I get the same and when I have 'ok'days I'm alright and think this is it then wake the next day back again and feel like I won't get better but we will get better just takes time.

Have you taken any? And has it helped? I've been getting hot baths at night aswel to try and relax me as I couldn't sleep, it has got a little better but it's still not great.

Try not to stress to much about work, you'll get there. Does your workplace know why your off and are they supportive?

See what the nurse says on Friday, my doctor wanted to start me on 50mg and increase to 100mg after a week but I was scared of the side effects so started abit slower with my drs help and I am feeling abit better. My anxiety has definitely improved, still got low mood and motivation and energy is none existent and still get negative thoughts but I just try and take one day at a time xxx

I'm glad ur getting there, that gives me hope!

Do u think it is the sert that's giving u less energy as I have been feeling this way too but thought it was just the anxiety wearing mw down?

Yeah my work have been great and are supportive. It's just hard to explain to them what's going on. It's not like a broken leg but I decided today that I do not need to tell them anymore than they need to know!!!!

The diazepam are helping but I don't want to depend on them to keep me calm.

You have been such a help tonight thank you so much!

I hope ur feeling better soon and we will get through this!!!

X

Hi Kerr, hope you slept ok and feeling ok today?

Yes I do think it's the meds that make us more tired and no energy.

That's good that your work is supportive, at least you don't have to worry about that.

I hope your feeling ok xxx

Morning Michelle

I fell asleep about 2 and got up at 8! That's a good sleep. Think I only woke because I heard my hubby going to work!

I am still tired and may just go back to bed after I have a cuppa.

Feeling a bit more positive, and confident, this morning about the meds working!

Hope we have a good day...... how are you feeling?

X

Hi Kerr, how have you got on today? Did you go back to sleep? I've had a busy day in work today so not long finished but had my counselling this morning.

I'm doing ok today, few negative thoughts this morning and a little anxious but was ok. Very tired still xxx

I did go back to bed but didn't sleep. Got an hour at 4 this afternoon.

Glad to hear u have made it through the day!

It's not been a good day, just wish I knew why I feel this worried feeling all the time. It's really getting me down.

This has been the worst day on these tablets yet. It's now day 15!

Really hope I start to feel better soon and then I can get back to work.

Well the day is nearly over and hopefully tomorro is a little brighter x

That feeling is awful. It's the worst if I'm honest. But it will end. You will get there. It's not you, it's the medication. the first time I went on it was about 21 days before I had any relief from the anxiety, and the second time was a little longer. I was once told that if you have that increase in anxiety it means this med will work for you. Hang on there. Hopefully there will be some relief soon

You will get there it just takes abit of time. I'm on day 30 and still getting bads days but my anxiety has definitely lessened now thankfully.

Do you have any other side effects? When do you see your doctor again? Where abouts you from? Xxx

I had headaches at first week

Still have no appetite and feel like I'm forcing myself to eat. Feel jittery too

I am in Glasgow, where are u?

My next app is with the nurse then I have to phone my doc afterwards. I am suppoz too be back at work next wed, don't know if I'm ready ye but I have been off since start of Dec so I'm quite anxious about it

Don't know if that's just the thought of going back or that I am actually not ready! Will leave it up to the doctor though!

How are you feeling today?

Had a good night sleep last night

Hi Kerr, how's things? How was your day? Yes I couldn't eat for a few weeks but it's come back now thsnkfully. I felt I was forcing food down just didn't want anything at all.

Well that's good your seeing someone soon, what do you do for work? Are they understanding? Do they know why your off? I'd see what the doctor says, if you need more time you need more time. Try not to worry about it tho.

I'm live near Chester. I've been to work today. Was ok day but felt a little anxious this evening and abit of a headache. Hopefully be ok tomorrow xxx

Morning Michelle, had an ok day yesterday! Just felt really tired and achey all over. So I just had a hot bath n read a book, pampered myself a little ( as us girlie's do!!)

Yeah my work are aware of why I am off. I didn't my hand my line in on time and they are holding my pay til they get it so that freaked me out. But my ops manager is sorting it, he has been amazing and is taking me out for lunch in Friday (we are friends as well so it makes it easier to speak to him!)

He has told me not to worry about work,it will still be there when I am ready!! So that has made things easier.

Got this mental health nurse in the morning tomorrow, feeling a bit apprehensive about it and I know I shouldn't but u know how it goes. You make a whole big deal out of nothing lol.

Glad to hear ur getting through your day at work. Was there something that triggered your anxiety when u got home?

Today is another day and I hope you have a lovely one!

P's, I made it into tesco all on my own yesterday!!!!

Hi Kerr, how you doing today? I upped my dose to 100mg today, felt a little sicky but passed and just feel really tired. I've been to work again today. Yes I think my trigger is my husband, well (ex) he left me on New Year's Eve day so it's been quite emotional so I'm trying to keep things together and just concentrate on getting better.

Well done for getting out to the shops yesterday xx

Aw michelle that is awful!!! U know what u can do it and u will. At least u are keeping busy and trying to get on with things that's a great achievement. I couldn't even face going out the door or seeing anyone!!

Did your doc give you anything for the side effects of upping the dose?

Mines gave me them diazepam and they are a god send. I was a scared to take them at first because I always associated them with street drugs (my mum was a pharmacist!!)

But they are only 2mg and I don't get a high or anything just relaxed but still with it.

Anyway I hope you have had a good day and now that you are home try and relax.... maybe think about repainting or just changing the furniture about see if that helps

Maybe try and get a night out with some friends over the weekend (might even meet prince charming!!)

Me, I have had a good day, managed to speak to work n they sorted my pay out!

Well we have almost made it through another week, tomorro is Friday,

And the world hasn't ended!!

Thank you for being there michelle!! Spk soon luvly xx

SO glad to be updated on all the progress ladies!  Hoping things continue to improve for you both.  On a positive note, January is almost over!

No my doctor wouldn't give me anything just anti sickness tablets and beta blockers which I don't use. I'm hoping that I'll be ok on the high dose! When do you up yours?

Thanks Hun, it's difficult as I've got a 10 & 5 year old too so trying to keep it together, they don't know yet as he works away anyway so kids are used to him not being around so at least they don't need to worry.

How's your evening going? Xxx

I would ask again for some diazepam, 2mg will not do u any harm at all just make the side effects a little easier. Maybe see another doc at ur practise!

Hopefully the higher dose will make it easier for u. Just remember u have had a horrible time lately so it is normal to be upset and anxious about the future. But u will come through this, especially for your wee kiddos. My daughter has just turned 18 and recently moved in with her bf!! She is sensible and mature (and it's a serious relationship) but she is still our one and only baby and I worry so much for her. It's so hard to let go!!!

When u do tell the kids just make sure you are both there, he still has a responsibility to his family. Does he know what you are going through? If not tell him (if you are still in contact) as hard as it will be! they will be fine as long as they know you guys are still there for them together.

I really hope you start to find peace soon luv!

I had such a busy day yesterday, I had the mental health nurse in the morning which went well (apart from me bubbling for half an hour!) She was so nice and I think I am going to benefit from this. Then I had lunch (well a cup of tea because I still don't have an appetite) with my ops manager ( was great and he is so supportive amd told me i havent to worryanout work) and then my hubby and I went to the cinema at night!

Had a few wee wobbles through the day but I just stopped took control and got on with it. Think I will be on the couch most if today though, I'm bloody knackered!!

Well it's the weekend and I think we all deserve a rest, just chill out nothing to worry us!

Kx

Hey lauren,

How are you doing? Hope things are going well for you. I am starting to feel a little better and more positive about recovering. Still taking it a day as it comes and dealing with the lows better.

And I agree...... Thank goodness January is almost over!!!

K x

Hi Kerr, glad your managing ok and getting out that's really good progress. How are your side effects?

I'm on day 3 on 100mg just feel so tired. Feel quite low today and sad, I think I'd probably feel better if I didn't have this extra stress in my life. Yes he knows and he was quite supportive at the start but then changed and upped and left when I needed him the most. He's due to see the kids next weekend as he works away and I'm feeling anxious about that as I've not seen him since he left me.

Do you have anything planned today? Xxx

Hi Michelle sorry it's been a while. Had a bad few weeks.

Weekend there was just horrific. Couldn't even get myself out of bed. Had a good couple of days last week and felt like I was getting back to being me again. Friday came and boom the wall came up.

I was at councilling on Friday and I don't know if it's really for me. But doc has said maybe I should ask about changing to a female so will see what they say when I go on friday. Had been geared up for going back to work this week but that's a no go now.

Doc has also increased my sert to 100mg. So here goes, hopefully I don't get the god awful side effects all over again!

Anyway. How have things been with you. How is progress with the kids and their dad? Hope things have calmed down a little for you and you have found some way forward.

Keep your chin up lovely

Xx

Hi Kerr, sorry you've had a bad few days. Upped your dose to 100mg might just be enough. I've been on the 100mg for about 3/4weeks now and can definitely tell the difference. The first week just felt abit flat and thought I was going backwards but then I had about a week of good days then a few bad days again but nothing like it was tho. It's still early on so does take some getting used too. I hope the 100mg give you that boost you need. Have work been understanding? Just take every day as it comes. The side effects were no where near as bad as when first starts so you should be ok. I had a day or two were I felt abit nausea but that soon pasted and I've got a metal taste in my mouth which hasn't gone but can live with that. Me and the kids are fine thank you. We have separated and told the kids last week which was awful but they seem to be ok now. There going to stay with their dad for a few days next week so will see how that goes and what they will be like afterwards. Hope everything is good with you? Xxx

Hey luvly,

So good to hear from you.

Glad to hear you are getting there. A few days on your own might be a good thibg. Give you a bit of time for you to do whatever you want. Try to enjoy it. Get out and do something you like to do. Maybe even book a nice spa day somewhere!! Treat your self to something nice. After all you deserve it after all this recent upheaval. And the kids will be fine they will not be the first kids to live life with separated parents and def won't be the last. My daughter's bio father left us when she was just 1 (I was just turned 18!) And at first I was really angry and tried everything to stop him seeing her but all I was doing was hurting her and not him, which was wrong and immature. I eventually realised that I needed to be the grown up even if he wasn't and eventually everything turned out just fine. We all have a great relationship now. Me and my husband and him and his new wife and their kids. It is hard but just always put them first and it really helps make decisions. You will find a way through it.

Does he know u have been ill?

I have been doing all right. Was at councilling yesterday and I feel like I have had a break through. He said some stuff that really made me think so last night in bed I decided that I am going to enjoy my last couple of weeks off work and do things that I want to do. I'm going back to my yoga class and have booked a spa day (and thinking of taking a few days away just me my mum and my wee doggie) hubby has to work but maybe that's a good thing as I have been using him as a crutch lately, thank God he's understanding!

Anyway here's to our new future, the only way from here is up! Let's put our best lippy on and hold our chin up coz we are doing it and we will beat it! ???

(You know it has been such a comfort to come on here just be able to share with you, thank you for listening and being a support. It has really helped!!)

Love

K

Xx

Hi Kerr, glad your going well and thanks for your kind words. I've not been on for a few days as my ex decided to tell me he has made a mistake and wants us to try again but I'm not sure if I want too, I'm so confused plus started to get abit more anxious which isn't helping me. It's great you have support from your husband and it's great that it all worked out for you and your family. The kids are with their dad now back on Friday, house is very quiet without them but I'm working and going to do abit of decorating while I can. Yes he heard I was ill and that makes it worse as he left me at my lowest point. So glad the counselling is helping Hun that's great news. Yes it's really nice to speak to you too Hun, thanks for being there xxx

Hi Michelle.

Don't even know what to say to that suggestion. But I would probably get yourself well and in a good place before even considering getting back together. He can't think he can just leave and come back when he feels like it. A lot of trust and ur respect will need to be earned. But let him be there for you as a friend, he knows you and it could maybe help you both find a future together.

Enjoy this time you have to yourself, rest and do things that you want. Get out and go for dinner with friends.

You will get there. U sound like a strong woman. I mean you have held it together the past few weeks by continuing work and being a mum to the kids. It may not seem like it now but u are stronger than you think.you will look back and realise soon that you can do it.

My councilling is going well and I have learned a few tricks to overcome the anxiety and panic attacks. Still feel a little off side but I just remember back to start of December and how much of a mess I was. I know I am getting back to being my usual cheery positive self.

My meds also seem to be working a whole lot better since the increase. I have felt like I have more energy and not needing a nap in the afternoon.

Have set my goal for getting back to work 2weeks on Tuesday coming. So fingers crossed I make it.

I also noticed a couple of weeks ago that I seem to be suffering more when my time of the month is due. I have never had any issues with pmt or anything but that time of the month just seems to highlight the anxiety. Something I have just got to prepare myself for every month I suppose. Doctor said it should subside with the sertraline.

Anyway that my latest update, it's good to just get it off my chest. I really appreciate you being there.

Anytime u want to vent u know where I am!

Love

Kerr

Xx

Hi Kerr, I'm glad your doing well. You've done fantastic, you should be proud of yourself for getting where you are today. I'm glad the meds are finally kicking in for you. That's amazing your thinking ahead about going back to work that's such positive steps. Yes I'm the same with my time of the month too, I've not suffered with pmt but same as you, maybe it's just an anxiety trigger? Thanks for the advice Hun, I've told him he'll just have to respect me and allow time to get my head together and that we are staying separated at the moment. I feel that I'm happier being on my own at the moment and I need to concentrate on getting better first. Kids are fine and don't seem bothered to be honest. Glad your doing ok Hun. Take care xxx