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Just got diagnosed with herpes and don't know how to feel

Posted , 7 users are following.

erin456
erin456

Hi i'm a 21 year old girl and i just got diagnosed with herpes today and I'm not sure how to react at all.

I feel like a disappointment to myself and my parents for being so silly and irresponsible to get this and it was the first and only time i've had unprotected sex and it's f*cked me up for the rest of my life and while it could literally happen to anyone and it's in the past and there's literally nothing you can do once you get it, it doesn't really help me not be annoyed at myself.

And then I feel like once i get it to heal up and eat healthily and do everything in my power to keep it away, I could learn to accept that all it is is a skin condition that just happens to be in a inconvenient place as I've had eczema my whole life aswell that comes and goes and when I consider it in the same way as that I think i could accept it a lot more. 

and i'm also paranoid that now i've managed to get this what if i have HIV or some other thing too and while its heaps less common part of me is like there is absolutely no reason why i couldn't have it and what if because of one stupid mistake I end up with two horrible diseases and never finding anyone who wants to be with me 

And then I worry that even if I manage to accept having it myself, what if others can't and think i'm gross and diseased and a slut and I end up alone and never have any relationships ever again even though i do realise that just cause you have this thing it doesn't change your personality or who you are or even if i do have a relationship again what if the guy uses that against me like oh no one else would stay with you cause you're diseased you're lucky to have me 

I just feel like I understand what it means but I can't fully accept it and i have lots of mixed feelings and don't really know how to process them

 

1 like, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • Livelife
    Livelife erin456

    Posted

    Sorry I didn't see this earlier Erin especially since you helped me loads!

    I know this was 2 days ago but it's only just showed up for me now!!

    I'm always here for you like I said I do hope you're accepting it

    If you google happy with herpes there's a blog and it's people's stories and they are all so over it now which is what we need to hear we need to see people who have had it about 10 years so they can say yeah it's a bitch to start with but I'm okay and I'm doing well!

    Also if you YouTube it there are some women that have made some great YouTube videos and they are beautiful women who are saying basically 'I'm okay look I'm beautiful and I have this' and they are there to help girls like us!

    Hope you're doing okay today Erin!

    I'm going on about day 10 now and I'm alright I'm doing okay!

    Hiv you should get checked but it's a lot more rare for you to get it

    I'll give you some statistics (studied about the disease in college)

    So let's say you've slept with a man who is 100% hiv positive and he ejaculated inside you then the chance of getting it from a one time exposure is 1 in 1000

    It's significantly less if he didn't ejaculate inside you or you don't know his status!

    Hiv is very evil to begin with, you would know the symptoms from a mile off!

    It's described as the worlds worst flu!

    If you ever want to speak private send me your email address and we can chat on the regular

  • Livelife
    Livelife erin456

    Posted

    Also I changed my username you commented on my post a few days ago! I was the one who is also 21 and from the uk
    • erin456
      erin456 Livelife

      Posted

      yeah i'm hoping once the first symptoms go away i can just forget about it until i come across the next person i want to sleep with and cross that bridge when i come to it haha i'm definetely feeling a good bit better today

      Though i went onto one of those std dating websites just to see what they were like even though i have 0 interest at the minute and there are literally 5 people in my area on it and none have pictures up which doesn't instill confidence at all haha 

      yeah i'll see if i can figure out how to send a private message with my email smile

  • kate44990
    kate44990 erin456

    Posted

    Hey! 

    I am also young (23) and was diagnosed about a week ago today, still getting over the first OB sad and I know where your coming from with all the feelings. When I found out at the doctors I burst into tears straight away and spent the whole day very depressed and upset.

    Honestly though like Livelife has said there are so many happy stories out there, spend a day reseaching everything and it will honestly make you feel so much better. I know I am going to try my absolute best to be one of those stories where it does not reoccurr many times.. if any at all.

    And don't stress about finding someone, someone will accept you for you and if they are going to reject you because of a silly little skin condition do you really want that kind of partner anyway? 

    Dont let it get you down, you can do it.

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      Aw that sucks that its still not gone away, I think mine has just about finished but it was literally the most pain i've ever had like it was horrific but it'll definetely go away soon smile 

      That's very true, I think its cause even before this i always stressed out about ending up alone so now its just like well i couldn't find anyone before and now its gonna be even harder but at the same time i also used to stress out about ending up with the wrong person and i feel like if someone accepts this its because they actually like you for you even the bad bits so you're hopefully more likely to end up with a good person but i think too i've got to the point where i'm like well its a part of me so you can like it or lump it type attitude haha

    • kate44990
      kate44990 erin456

      Posted

      Hope so because the itching it driving me crazy. How long did your OB last or how long has it been? I don't want to jinx myself but mine hasn't been painful at all, just a dry weird feeling and the itching is insane rolleyes

      Oh yep I know that, it's scary that's for sure. A few years ago I stressed a lot about it and now I'm like eh can I be alone forever please hahaha.

      I didn't realise before but herpes is so common so it's likely you'll be telling someone of it and they'll reply me to

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      I started noticing it like last monday or tuesday and then got medicine on friday and then it's gradually gone away since then like i'd say yesterday it was like 95% gone and then today i feel pretty much back to normal so thats like a week and a half or so haha it feels so much longer than that but it was so so sore at the start like i couldn't sit or stand or lie down like it just hurt so so much and like if you knocked it in the wrong way it was that kind of pain that kind of like takes your breath away like it was so sore 

      I just worry about being alone and everyone else having their own family and partners and forgetting about me haha 

      Yeah I always wonder like since its more common in girls and girls are more likely to talk about things like have some of my guy friends slept with girls who have it like the chances are they probably have 

    • kate44990
      kate44990 erin456

      Posted

      That's so weird, what medicine did you take? My doctor gave me aciclovir 125 5 day course 2 tablets a day and it's only gotten worse. I called her on Tuesday and she said take another 5 day course. Currently on day 2 of the second lot and nothing is changing sad

      That sounds horrible though, lucky it healing now! How is it today?

      I was thinking about that last night too, I wish more people would talk about it. I have close friends but I don't think I'd want to share this with them but I'm sure someone in my friends group would have this also? Who knows

    • Livelife
      Livelife kate44990

      Posted

      Hey the doctor should of prescribed you 400mg 3 times a day for the first outbreak of 200mg 5 times a day!

      2 times a day is for suppression therapy

      I've just got over my first outbreak though and I found the tablets did nothing for me

      (Well in all fairness my outbreak wasn't that painful just irritating) but my outbreak lasted longer than erin's

    • kate44990
      kate44990 Livelife

      Posted

      Oh well that's lovely neutral honestly wondering why they are prescribed when so many people are saying they haven't worked. I am going to ask for valtrex to test that out I think.

      How long did your OB last? Kinda hoping mine stays for a bit longer so I can get a swab done to see what type it is. First and last time I'll ever be saying that haha

    • Livelife
      Livelife kate44990

      Posted

      Because once you have an outbreak they don't stop it or make it better the tablets make them quicken up and have less outbreaks on the future!

      My outbreak has lasted about 2 weeks it's not been painful at all really by irritating and the last few days have just felt a bit itchy but all my sores went after 10 days I got swabbed after the 4th day!!

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      The one she gave me was like 800mg aciclovir 3 times a day for 2 days i dunno if that adds up to the same amount or what or why she gave me like a 2 day one opposed to a 5 day one but I found with mine like it didn't change much at the start but then kind of just started going away all of a sudden

      I think it's pretty much gone but I'm still like nervous to look and see I feel like disconnected from myself or something like its hard to explain haha

      I know I wish I had the guts to like talk about it because I've told my mum and one friend but I don't think I really want to tell other people but then part of me is like we should talk about it so its not a giant secret and people don't feel ashamed of it but its also none of anyone elses business what i have so i'm like talk about it or don't talk about it i'm not sure haha 

    • kate44990
      kate44990 Livelife

      Posted

      Oh that makes sense thanks smile it's only been a week and a half and I think it's all gone now yay. All of a sudden it just went really quick so must have helped

    • kate44990
      kate44990 erin456

      Posted

      Mine just did the same yay!

      I have only told my mum and only because she could see I was upset about something.. she cried when I told her I was like yeah thanks making me feel so great right now haha. Neither of us knew anything about it though so assumed the worst when it's not the worst thing in the world.

      I'm just scared to start dating but I guess I'll get to that when it happens neutral

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      I know when i told my mum i had type one she was like i hope you learnt your lesson and dont get into a situation like this again cause your poor mum cant take it haha

      I know same i guess theres no point in worrying til you meet someone and see how they react

    • kate44990
      kate44990 erin456

      Posted

      Aw haha! Poor mum? What about us.

      I just started my second OB whaaaaaat sad sad already so done with this and it's only been a month.

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      I know exactly haha

      Aw no hopefully if you take the aciclovir it'll go away quicker though smile and like apparently they get less frequent over time too

    • kate44990
      kate44990 erin456

      Posted

      Sure hope it's less frequent than this.

      Sorry if it's tmi but do you get yellowy discharge?

    • tori2001xx
      tori2001xx kate44990

      Posted

      Hiya I'm tori I'm only 16 and I have recently been diagnosed with genital herpes I'm in a lot of pain and suffer from discharge aswell,I am very young and finding this hard to cope with I've been with my boyfriend for a yeah and unfortunately he had a cold sore and went down which caused this to happen we cried together as he feels he is the one to blame but I'm starting to realise it will all be okay soon I just hate the pain I'm in when weeing it burns,I'm recently finding it difficult to walk as they are starting to hurt but I've reasesrched into it all and im now coming to terms with itsmile

    • erin456
      erin456 kate44990

      Posted

      Yeah I got some weird discharge like at the start it was just like really watery and then it changed to almost the same kind of discharge you get with a yeast infection
    • erin456
      erin456 tori2001xx

      Posted

      As soon as the first outbreak goes away you kind of forget you even have it in a way like the last few days I've not even thought about it so it'll definetely get better smile

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