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could someone spare me some advice please?hi

Posted , 5 users are following.

Shelly0069
Shelly0069

Ts is really I regards of my daughter: she has recently broke up with her boyfriend and was with him for about 6months, now she broke the relationship up obviously because they weren't seeing one another as much with him having football school and mates she found that twice a week wasn't enough!!. She still has feelings for him obviously as they were together for a while......her first true love but still very young. I helped her through the rocky road with her advising her a shoulder to cry on what a parent does when their child needs them, what is bothering us both is it was an amicable thing BUT recently at school as they attend the same school, she has seen one another a few times BUT he chooses to ignore her? WHY? Or looks straight ahead not to look at her??? She carnt understand why? Why does or is he do'ng this? Any advice or what you think, it's really getting her down and keeps questioning why?. Like its getting a compulsive thing, anyone? I'd like soon for her to think not all boys are like him?evenjustvyour option please?!!.as anyone u know or knew been in a position?. I keep telling her to move on or ask him why he ignores you but she won't? She is getting out but this relationship has put her off and says she's not going into anther relationship she's just going to date?!!. Through all the heartache is caused her.any advice of anyone would be lovely, thanks guys.xx

2 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Shelly0069
    Shelly0069

    Posted

    Hi sorry guys I have read my post,some parts don't make any seance!!!!. What I'm asking is advice for my daughter whom iam concerned about, with her breaking up recently with her boyfriend. 

    It was an amicable break up, her not being happy towards the end of the relationship, with his commitments: football, mate and school!!!.cutting a very long story short, me I'm the parent and very concerned about her, they both go to the same high school and he's 2 years older,up till now she hasn't really seen him around there has been no communication between them which is good, I'm concerned about two things he's made it clear to her that it will be at least 2 months before he starts dating again which has distraught her, thinking she meant Nothing to him, and the other is she's even him a few times recently at school and he's ignored her NOT even looked at her WHY do u think that is? She is thinking he has cheated on her? Are there any young adults that can say yeh it's because.......? Any young ones that could give me some feedback,I obviously don't understand why not even a smile or hello wouldn't go a miss is it so hard ? She is distraught about this thinking he's cheated on her, so WHY is he IGNORING her? Anyone why? I'm stuck but a little help of someone would be extremely helpful to us and at least put my daughters mind at rest......l and yesbive asked the question a million times why not ask him? But won't thinking the worst He's done somthing behind her back somthing not nice so she won't ask incase he tells her somthing bad? I have even said I would ask him myself but of course yes that's right I haven't seen him either. Please any advice of anyone?!!!.

  • ellen82139
    ellen82139 Shelly0069

    Posted

    Hi Michelle,

    from one mum to another

    he needs to be grown up enough to sit with your daughter,and for them to sort this out,in a friendly manner,only then can they both move on,youngsters barely rarely take the advice of parents,until they are older,maybe a close friend of hers can suggest this.

     

  • hypercat
    hypercat Shelly0069

    Posted

    Hi I sympathise with your daughter but this is a depression site.   Is she suffering from depression?.  You might get a better response from a young persons relationship site.  x
  • audrey96558
    audrey96558 Shelly0069

    Posted

    Hate to break it to you but he sounds like a typical teenage boy, nothing really out of the ordinary.

    I'm sorry your daughter is suffering but that's kind of what happens in teenage relationships. It's not fun. It's sad

    But it's part of life.

    The best you can do is support her and build up her self esteem; that's all sadly.

    Good luck to you both teenage years are hard cxx

  • Shelly0069
    Shelly0069

    Posted

    Thankyou  ladies. For taking time to read and posting me back. Thanks lovely ladies.........

     

  • Digsby
    Digsby Shelly0069

    Posted

    Hi,

    From a male perspective, here's my opinion (probably just based on my knowledge of American high school TV and films & my understanding of the male psyche). However loving the relationship was, your daughter ending it because she was unhappy will inevitably affect a teenage boy's confidence (I'm assuming the healthy ego of a football jock with a busy social and study schedule is higher than average). Part of teenagers finding their identity is learning what they can and can't control. Hormones are very difficult to control (if not impossible!) No one knows if this young man is covering up feelings of rejection and hurt. He may be teased by his male peers for being "dumped" by a girl. That would be tough to deal with and he may have had to tell some little white lies so as not to lose status with his friends. If he can try to offload responsibility for the relationship breakdown, he probably would. It might even be that speaking to your daughter is just too painful because of the hurt feelings he is too proud to admit to. Ignoring her in public may be his way of taking some control of the situation back (maybe even punishing her).  I'm assuming your daughter wants to remain friends with this boy, which is why she's so hurt by his behaviour. Remaining friends is always tricky when you have been in a close relationship. You certainly don't have any say about who the other person may want to go out with and what timeframe that might take. It's not a gauge of his feelings for your daughter if he finds someone quite quickly, that could just be on the rebound. If your daughter has chosen to end this relationship, she really needs to move on. Teenage love is such a heartache - we're still learning the game (the dance steps as it were). I hope your daughter can try to distract herself. We do all feel for her and wouldn't want her to get depressed over this.

    That's my opinion (but I'd just like to say I wouldn't behave like this young man) ;-)

    Digsby xx

    • Shelly0069
      Shelly0069 Digsby

      Posted

      Hi Digsby, sorry my tablet froze on me last night.........anway it's nice to get a comment from a lad......may I ask how old you are? My daughter is 14 and it was her first relationship he was 2 years older than her......and has said she do aren't want another relationship...basically how it ended.....although she ended it.I think it was what he wanted to......there has been no comebacks of either. So I know they won't get back together,and I do know she will eventually date again.. From a male point of view can I ask you 1question: he chooses to ignore her and avoids looking at her..WHY? It's not like she has been hounding him to get back with him!, no phone calls, snap chats there has been no communication .. Just a smile or a courtesy hello, nothing? Why?. 14 is still very young and there are loads more fish in the sea... Told her to go out now with her friends have fun laugh knuckle down at school....just have lots and lots of fun......which weeks later she is finally doing. Bless. Thankyou anyway for going out your way and replying to us xox take care xox.
    • Digsby
      Digsby Shelly0069

      Posted

      No problem. We can only speculate but it seems he is motivated either by the need to punish your daughter or to keep his repressed emotions in check (so can't trust himself even to make small talk). As you will know, people can act very strangely and their intentions may not even be obvious to themselves. This is his way of dealing with the break-up over time. Your daughter is doing the right thing moving on and enjoying her other friends. Don't let one person's behaviour ruin her life - he is not worth it.

      Hugs xx

  • Shelly0069
    Shelly0069

    Posted

    Thankyou Digsby for YOUR comment. Much apprectiateded, it was a lovely write-up and nice to hear from a lad's point of view........my daughter did end the relationship......but how he is more likely to of told his mates he ended it.....at the end of the day she ended it end of....me being her parent I have been a shoulder to cry on and there for her full stop......

    pie know now she wouldn't go back with him....not know anyway......

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