Posted , 5 users are following.
Decided to write this so other people know that they are not alone in how they feel and they are not weird, abnormal, unworthy etc etc.
That depression affects so many people and can happen to anyone..
I don't want to get up today.
I haven't even opened my eyes and I can feel that deep sinking feeling.
So many thoughts rushing around in my head.
Nothing but negativity I cannot control..
What's the point in getting up?
I feel so alone anyway.
Nobody understands.
Nobody cares.
Everything is such an effort.
I have slept and slept and just want to sleep.
Don't look at me.
Don't talk to me.
Don't you see how much pain I'm in??
I am scared.
Don't judge me.
Don't look at me that way
Don't you see how ugly I feel?
Don't you see how dark my thoughts are?
I just want a hug..No I don't want a hug..I don't know what I want.
I just want to feel happy..
Don't you care?
You fussing too much its irritating..
I am in pain..soo much pain..my head hurts..my heart hurts..
Why would anyone care about me?
I am not good enough.
I don't fit in.
If people knew how I felt inside they wouldn't like me.
Why would someone want to be around someone so negative.
I don't smile anymore.
I don't joke around anymore..
Cannot remember the last time I laughed.
Everything I loved..I hate
I just feel angry, irritated, numb, empty, dead inside..
I cry..I cry again..I do nothing but cry..I cannot stop..
It like a deep dark well and I can see my own scratch marks on the walls from trying to get out..
I don't anwser the phone
I don't answer the door
Everything feels overwhemling
I have no energy.
I can't deal with this.
Where has my life gone?
Do you want to get up? NO
Do you want to eat? NO
Do you want to get dressed? NO
Do you want to talk? NO
Do you want to go out? NO
LEAVE ME ALONE..YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just let me sleep..
I don't want to feel like this anymore..
What's the point?
I am just shell that does not function properly anymore..
I wish I was dead..I just want to die..
Why do I keep holding on????
When I am well I enjoy life.. I keep in my head the things that are important to me.. What life was like before I took ill..
There are people I love..love to laugh..love nature. love music..love movies.. love being creative..making things for family and friends.etc etc etc..
I am a bubbly, positive person that loves getting involved in things, studying, helping people and right now I am taking a break from life..
I know deep down it will pass when I put some work into helping myself eg. medication and support..I have to work at it..
I am the only one that can help myself in getting proper support.
No its not easy..Very small steps..Patience..Acceptance this is the way it is at the minute..Its not my fault..
But I have been here before and know I will get out of it again..
Life is good..Glad I held on..
5 likes, 14 replies
rachna36991 laura11452
Posted
laura11452 rachna36991
Posted
Whatamess laura11452
Posted
laura11452 Whatamess
Posted
There is also the fact a lot of people don't know how to help..
iris46 laura11452
Posted
laura11452 iris46
Posted
iris46 laura11452
Posted
laura11452 iris46
Posted
Hope you get better soon..
iris46 laura11452
Posted
laura11452 iris46
Posted
hypercat laura11452
Posted
laura11452 hypercat
Posted
Mashuga laura11452
Posted
laura11452 Mashuga
Posted
Hope you get some good days as well
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