1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

depression is taking over me

Posted , 4 users are following.

iandykes
iandykes

The last few months have been an arwful time for me having lost my work contract and then having my tools stolen. I work as an IT engineer and i havnt had any proper work since september my funds are running out and all i want to do is take a load of tabilets and just end it Ilive with my partner who as had depression but i cant discuss how i feel to her as it will set her off she recently lost her job so we are both out of work and looking every day this is the worst time of year with christmas only around the corner . i have tried to get a grant for more training which is hopless and my hobby writing e-books asnt took off i just feel theres no way out of this mess i think about just endding nearly every night i am 56 and i feel i let myself down getting in this postion where most people my age would be near retiring everything i had as gone into my business and its such a arwful feeling to have when you are stuck in a rot and the only way out is feeling of ending it

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • jean62175
    jean62175 iandykes

    Posted

    Ah no way have you let yourself or anyone down, you've made a great step forward in coming on here to tell your story.  If you can't talk to your partner then look up support groups in your area, if you feel you would be more comfortable over the phone then ring their help number.  

    "ending it"?  Very permanent solution to a temporary problem - some years back I was in what I can only describe as a very big dark hole & everything was being thrown on top of me and I couldn't get out, but the first step on getting out of it, I asked for help, yes, it was hard to admit I was depressed, anxious, etc., but such a relief when I spoke to a support group and might I say I cried buckets, I think when they saw me coming they got in extra tissues!  I'm not making light of where you are,  but if I could do it so can you.  Well done on coming on here, you are stronger than you think, take care of yourself.  

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 iandykes

    Posted

    Hi Ian

    i honestly know how you are feeling. I'm 55 lost my job lost my home and have a family member who has been very unwell. I think at our age we do seem to reflect on our lives and past achievements. We then see where we are now and our hopes for a better future dwindle. I am trying hard to let go of 'what i have been' and trying hard to see what my future could be. This is a tall order when suffering with depression! For the first six hours of waking I feel dreadfully unwell then

    Mid afternoon I start feeling a bit better which improves over the course of the evening. This is the time where I try to picture a different path for the future.

    I would say to you Ian that you need to speak to a professional about your depression. If you can't share your depressive thoughts and feelings with your partner. Then please seek help from your gp. Have you a close friend that you could confide in too? It's so important that you keep the flame of hope alive. I know this can be hard when life whacks us hard with a kosh but proper treatment from your doctor and maybe counselling may benefit you. You do have a future ...It may change a bit, but it's certainly there for you to live. Who knows what's around the corner for any of us. You will make it...you will get a job..you will get better and most importantly you will feel joy again. Don't be discouraged. Stay strong.

    god bless you and I pray both you and your partner get your health back and attain your hopes and dreams.

    Lorraine xx

  • daniel25170
    daniel25170 iandykes

    Posted

    Ian I empathise with your situation and hope you can take a glimmer of hope or an idea forward from this forum that will help you to move forward. Remember that nothing in life is permanent, nothing is fixed and every situation will change. Depression can make us feel like it is a permanent state but this is just an illusion. Your mood will lighten and your situation will change. It is your duty to hang on in there and come out of the other end as a better person. Have faith, be strong and listen to those who have beaten depression and gone on to better things. Words like this helped me and WILL help you. Sincere best wishes

    Danny

  • iandykes
    iandykes

    Posted

    Thanks for repies It is hard as i havnt got a close friend i can talk too.

    ​since writing this post nothings change in fact i have been in bed all week with a bad virus. Mybe when i am over this thing.  it wont look too bleak its very hard to stay postive. but i will try

     

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 iandykes

      Posted

      Wishing you better Ian and hope you will stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

      god bless

      stay strong..Make sure you drink plenty of fluids xx

  • iandykes
    iandykes

    Posted

    I like to thank everyone for the nice replays

    I feel that I am getter better. I was in in hospital with a bad virus which was a really low point but since recovering my work slightly picked up to offer a glimmer of hope

    it's very hard to feel excited when you have depression

    but I am working on it. this is a great site with great people who care

  • iandykes
    iandykes

    Posted

    Not had a good few weeks been going on a downner and worrying about things was wotking las thursday and i nearly passed out and got myself in a state

    not sure why i am getting these things

    feel like i dont want to see or meet anybody and keep being sad i am a bit worried about the dizzyness and headaches will need to see my doctor

    i know its hard when you have depression but fighting it is the only way

    • Digsby
      Digsby iandykes

      Posted

      Dear Ian,

      Perhaps you are still fighting the virus. Best to get your doctor to check out these dizzy spells. I know it's a tough time but try not to be hard on yourself - you are doing the best you can and that is enough. depression does feel like a daily battle so anything you can do to motivate yourself or reward yourself for getting through each day (sometimes each hour), don't feel guilty about doing it. It's OK to need a bit of distance from other people for a while, especially when Christmas time can become a bit over-the-top. Pace yourself and just do as much or as little as you want to to get you through each day. You'll find support here whenever you need it buddy. Take care.

      Digsby

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 iandykes

      Posted

      Hi Ian

      depression is a hard journey which seems to be never ending at times. You are doing so well keeping afloat. I know it's incredibly hard for you as you mentioned your partner also suffers with the same Illness. In addition this time of year can make us feel worse. My tip to you would be firstly to see your doctor about your dizziness to put your mind at rest. My guess is the ddizziness could be down to your medication, stress or even low blood pressure.

      Secondly you do need to have a venting forum! Talk to a close friend on how you are feeling or things that are of most concern to you. If you haven't got anyone you trust .....talk to us!!

      Lastly Ian you will get through this and you will get better. I know you are worried about work but with your expertise I'm certain you will land a new fat contract! Life is about timing and loving. Eg in time you will 100% get better. In the meantime ..love yourself enough to follow through with all the tools available to you to get better.

      I know it's a slog but you can do this!

      God bless

      Lorraine xx

    • iandykes
      iandykes Digsby

      Posted

      thanks for the advice does really help

    • iandykes
      iandykes lorraine52317

      Posted

      thanks for your advice it really helps

      i havnt got a close friend who i can talk to about it

      i suppose i bottle it inside

      i am trying to change things but getting christmas out the way is the key at the moment

      there is presure with work and trying to get money in for christmas is a worry but you got to fight on and try and makevthings better.

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 iandykes

      Posted

      Hi Ian

      i know Christmas is not appealing when feeling this way. I think you are doing absolutely amazing in very difficult circumstances. I am more than happy for you to speak to me anytime about the way you are feeling. I honestly mean that.

      i know the road you are on...i have the A to Z road map on depression and anxiety! ! Only just pulled off the road in the last few days and now parked up having a sitdown on the grassy bank!

      More than happy to travel with you on your journey xx

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.