Doctors found out I'm anorexic and I'm not happy.
Posted , 4 users are following.
So I had to go to the doctors for something unrelated to my ED, upon the visit my height and weight was took which is where my doctor grew concerned.
My BMI is low enough to be admitted in to a clinic, so she pressed for answers.. I followed suit and the more in depth it got the more concerned she grew.
Now she's put in for an emergency referral to the ED clinic. I'm not mentally prepared or ready for this.. I can feel my anxiety kick starting, even though I know I need help I'm not ready to accept it yet.
Has anyone else experienced this and what can I do?
0 likes, 13 replies
katlouise1989 nicole_33114
Posted
Dear Nicole,
I'm sorry to hear you are so poorly, it can be really difficult to accept someone telling you information like this, and I'm sure you are feeling daunted. Because you are so unwell your anxiety levels will be higher as it is a body's fight or flight defence mechanism sensing danger. Because you are being told something which your eating disorder disagrees with your anxiety will increase further and it will tell you that the GP must be wrong, you can't be that ill, why is someone interfering and so on. It is hard, but the bottom line is you will have great care and support in your recovery and access to treatment that you desperately need. I would encourage you to attend a support group in the interim like with beat as you will find lots of people who have been in your position.
Try to focus on the small positive that this is going to help you get better and part with the horrible illness. You can get your life back through recovery and start to live again.
I hope this helps.
nicole_33114 katlouise1989
Posted
Thank you for responding Kat and I totally understand that what I'm doing is wrong but as you said my anxiety is kicking in full force.
At times I feel like I can't cope with it all and I think that because I wasn't prepared for it, it's made me panic even more!
katlouise1989 nicole_33114
Posted
No worries at all. It's understandable that you feel panicked, but remember everyone is trying to help you.
The most important stage is accepting that you need help to recover. I've suffered with an eating disorder since the age of 11 (I'm now 27) and am doing so well in recovery for the first time. It has taken so much from me and I have missed out on such a lot. Do whatever you can to fight this.
Stay strong.
nicole_33114 katlouise1989
Posted
I've never suffered with an eating disorder before. I've always had a small frame though. I gained weight through anxiety and decided I'd have enough. It became my obsession which has now led to this..
I know people are there to help but I'm not ready and honestly my family just think that by making me eat, I'll get better but it just infuriates me!
We're close in age though I'm 28
katlouise1989 nicole_33114
Posted
Oh no! Yes it can be very hard for families to deal with at first. In fact it can take a while for them to understand fully.
You are incredibly lucky to be offered treatment as beds are so so limited at present that many referrals end up under the NHS in private hospitals because of the lack of NHS beds. The bottom line is, that in order to make any sort of recovery you will have to eat and you don't get a choice about this. I know how hard it is, and it will be very scary at present, but the difference is amazing. I'm not going to pretend it's easy adjusting to a healthy body as this is something I am still battling with, but I have so much energy and I've become myself again.
Your eating disorder is like an abuser. You love it, but you know how much it is destroying you. The moment you try to let go, it makes it harder because you're standing up to it and it wants to be in control. It tries to make compromises but that ends up making everything worse.
Your eating disorder is destroying your relationships (family and friends), it's stopping you from living, it's limiting your academic work, it's messing up your career. It is physically painful (lack of sleep, cold, depression) but it is mentally exhausting.
As you separate, try and weigh up the pros and cons. What are you losing out on?
I wish you all the best in your recovery.
lesley08567 katlouise1989
Posted
Hi I struggled for years with all the labels ( anorexic alcoholic to name but a few ) I just hated being the anorexic the alcoholic etc I was lesley who suffered from various illnesses . For me getting the professional help and help was a life saver ..... once I had accepted that I was ill and I needed help my life has just got better and better. I have a life and I have finally become Lesley 😀?????
claire4670 nicole_33114
Posted
nicole_33114 claire4670
Posted
claire4670 nicole_33114
Posted
I'm sad you say 'still the same'. Have you had any help at all? X
nicole_33114 claire4670
Posted
I was supposed to see the ED specialist but I declined the appointment, I've now just been left to deal with it myself. X
katlouise1989 nicole_33114
Posted
I'm not one to get cross normally, but this comment infuriates me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get an appointment on the NHS with mental health? People can wait up to 2 years and still find they are offered nothing because resources are so limited (even if they are very very sick).
You are really lucky you were offered an opportunity to see a specialist. Of course you've been left to deal with this by yourself now, what else did you expect if you declined the appointment?
nicole_33114 katlouise1989
Posted
Get angry all you want, I didn't ask or want the appointment in the first place and I told them as much.
It's hardly my fault that everyone has to wait is it? ...No.
I wanted to be left alone hence the title because I'm not ready for help yet, which once again the Doctors were aware of.
claire4670 nicole_33114
Posted
I think as she 'declined' the appointment there's no harm done and it would have meant the appointment wouldn't have been wasted it would have given to someone else. It's not that she didn't turn up etc and waste anyone's time.
No one can be helped until they are ready. We all know this to be true..
Mental health is in a terrible state in the UK that is very true but can't be blamed on those who hand their appointments to someone else. I don't think she's done anything wrong here. Try not to be angry with her.