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Don't get rid of my devils because my Angels might go there too!

Posted , 6 users are following.

clare39944
clare39944

I was listening to 'Desert Island Discs' on radio 4 this morning and Stephen Fry quoted the above when asked if he would rather not have Bi-Polar.  I found his reply very helpful and wonder how other people on this forum feel about having the condition.  I was diagnosed in 1977 although I knew I was 'different' way before that (am now 58 yrs old). Bi-Polar is integral to being who I am and although I regret suicide attempts and the chaos I have caused both to myself and others when manic, I simply cannot imagine not having this illness.  I have finally been prescribed a drug regimen that helps me have more control and thus the opportunity to engage more with life.  I do still get black moods and sometimes my husband points out that I am flying too high, but at least these states do not dominate my existence as they used to do.  How do the rest of you feel?  

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • chris14174
    chris14174 clare39944

    Posted

    Great quote from Stephen Fry love it xx I'm in the process of being diagnosed with bioilar 13 years on im 48 now. You're obviously managing yous well x
    • clare39944
      clare39944 chris14174

      Posted

      I see I neglected to mention that Stephen Fry was quoting from a line by the poet WH Auden.  I hope you are now able to get on with your life in a balanced way now you have been diagnosed. Best wishes
  • frank_21545
    frank_21545 clare39944

    Posted

    I had my first bout of bi polar when I was 20, and, unfortunately, it wasn't properly diagnosed until I was 32, and then I wasn't put on any effective medication until I was 40 three years ago, and it's only since then that I feel I am now fulfilling my potential and getting a grip on life. And while I feel my condition has made me a more compassionate and insightful person, particularly towards those who struggle in life, I regret a little all those years wasted battling the intransigence and obtuseness of psychiatrists and GPS. Even with my current medication, I had to persuade my GP to put me on it. I long ago gave up with psychiatrists. But I am now stable, life is looking good, and so onwards and upwards!
  • jo46414
    jo46414 clare39944

    Posted

    Hi Clare I love that quote too.  I feel very much like you in that I would not have done some of the things I have in the past; and caused such hurt to the people that love and care about me, however, I am not that person any longer.  I am fortunate to have been prescribed medication that works for me and I truly forget that I have a disorder because as long as I ensure I take the meds and never miss, and look after myself, I know I have control over the illness.  Much like people who are affected by other chronic illness. I am forever grateful for the care I have received in the past. smile
    • clare39944
      clare39944 jo46414

      Posted

      Dear Jo, I have upset so many people over the years that some of them seem unable to forgive me.  Thus, for example I am estranged from one of my brothers and some old friends don't want to know me anymore.  I stressed about this for a time, but now I am controlling the illness with regular meds I am able to look forward again.  The real friends have stuck by me and over the last year I have been able to forge new friendships.  My husband of 6 yrs has stood by me and I can even bear him telling me stories about the things i did when manic.  Mostly we enjoy experiencing 'the now' and are able to make modest plans for the future.  I am so glad you experienced good health care in the past.  I think it is vitally important for the Govt. to fund mental health services, especially young people so they can have a future without mental tumult.
  • lynne05476
    lynne05476 clare39944

    Posted

    Hi All,So much of what has been said resonates with me anytime that i decide to dip into this forum and for that i thank you all.I have a big smile on my face because i had an interview for a new job on friday and have been offered it,you will be able to recognise that interviews are not easy at best but i think because of my now controlled bipolar it enhanced the process (i had to do a presentation,numeracy test) it lasted over 1hr but talking is never my problem !!! the biggest thing for me was that i was controlled,measured in my answers,clear and concise.Without mania propelling me into the stratisfere i came away feeling i'm begining to find out who i really am !!! So i too will keep taking the tablets !!! onwards but not upwards !!!!!
    • frank_21545
      frank_21545 lynne05476

      Posted

      Hi, Lynne, well done in your smooth job interview and new job, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and be an asset. I too started a job last year at a national art gallery which I feel is much more suited to my talents. And I didn't fluff the interview either...cool and collected! So the drugs DO work!

      PS) I only meant 'upwards' in the sense of reaching my pinnacle in my potential as a person!

    • lynne05476
      lynne05476 frank_21545

      Posted

      Feels great doesn't it, new beginnings at 50 baggage being laid to rest best wishes ,

      Frank

    • clare39944
      clare39944 lynne05476

      Posted

      Dear Lynne, many congratulations on getting that job.  Also thank you for promoting the idea that meds make sense. All I can recommend to people who are struggling with their medication is to go back to the doctor and ask him/her to try something else.  Good luck, Lynne and please keep posting, if you have the time.
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