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hate this fibro

Posted , 6 users are following.

tiggers1
tiggers1

So for the last week my pains have been bad and my back has drove me mad no amount of painkillers are helping or heat pads . Last night I had the worst headache in a long time and still have a headache this morning . Decided this morning I'd put my daughters now curtians up but the struggle I had with them had tremors in my hands and my arms and neck is beyond painful it took Me half and hour to put them up and inbetween stood and cried as I felt so helpless and never relise how bad this fibro was with me . I now feel so stupid that I cried over some curtians but no would understand how much I stuggle to this but now feeling proud I've finally done it . I relay want to scream at this fibro and shale it from me but I can't all I can do every day is carry on best I can with the support of my family and this site only ppl on here understand were I'm coming from today . Not to mention I've got to go to work later and feel bloody drained already . Here's hoping for a better afternoon . Warm hugs to you all and wishing you all a wonderful weekend x

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 tiggers1

    Posted

    Hi tiggers...I am so sorry that you are suffering so much at the moment....I can totally sympathize with you...it must be very difficult to cope with work, ( something to be proud of. ) as the exhaustion is overwhelming much of the time......pat yourself on the back for anything and everything that you do..xx

    Take good care of yourself, try and have a restful weekend....

    All the best LOVEY, Deirdre xxx

  • kaz_40
    kaz_40 tiggers1

    Posted

    Hi tiggers1 Well done you for struggling on with the curtains and for working. I can fully understand you breaking down crying when struggling to do things. as did it my self yesterday when trying to hang washing out, kept dropping washing struggling to open peg to put washing on line. I got washing on line eventually broke down in tears as in pain with hands fingers and back. just feel totally utterly useless. I hate fibro with a passion. you take care hope you have a lovely weekend. gentle hugs xx
  • deb97936
    deb97936 tiggers1

    Posted

    Hi Tiggers... hearing you and yes, I do break sometimes and have 'Tears of release or Tears of hurt and frustration at myself'...  I sprayed round my wee dwelling and my neighbours to..'Penny stamped' lawns and dwellings but a big shingled turning bay for cars and the area's round the boundaries...  Because I had been away the weeds have come through with avengence.. Neighbour unable to do anything as she is disabled herself.. (MS)...  

    I could already feel my aches and pains loading up,, the stiffness to got worse all over the last couple of weeks and of course BOOOM...  after finishing the spraying and I mowed my tiny wee penny stamp lawn, (small electric mower), that night WOW, talk about a blow out, next day a shocker and then that night NO sleep, and totally ripped in pain and heat..  It's been a few days past now, and I'm so dam exhausted and sore...  

    I hear you, and feel for you.  There is no way I can work now, dammit it all, all due to my issues.  I no longer have kiddies to run round for as all grown up and flown the coupe.. Grandchildren now to, light me up..  But I live a distance away and I can no longer afford to have my car on the road.  All thanks to my doc and our benefit system.  My GP doesn't believe I have Fibro.. denies me.  BUT I have my proof now and only recently produced it to our medical centre.  My GP is away currently...  When we think life couldn't get any tougher, those you pay and wish can support you, like your GP,  makes life even tougher here.   I'm awaiting a review from our Benefit system...  not holding my breathe though..   

    Don't be pushing yourself mentally or physically to much... it won't aid you.  You need to pace yourself, boardering on doing the least of a day even on some days...  To try and prevent your body loading up to a Flare up...

    Bless you Tiggers and family...  Love and light round you all and your house.  

    Try putting your feet up in a quiet part of the day, with NO urgent matters to attend to, no time restraints...let it be your time.  REST UP, and blob, relaxed back, and imagine yourself, your body being immersed or wrapped up in a relaxing shade of colour of your own choice...  keep focusing on it, focus on it soothing you, easing away aches and pains..  

    That focus is using that deep recess between you eyes..  Force yourself to revisit it as many times as you can or wish to.  Repeat it in bed before going to bed, and whilst imagining the colour your in, put it out there that you 'wish, want and need a good nights full sleep'  Repeat it to yourself over and over quietly and gently... never loose the colour image whilst your putting that request out there... It is amazing how this can work for a person...

    It is mind over matter and the more you practice it the easier it can be..and the more benefits over time....  :-)

  • lisa52101
    lisa52101 tiggers1

    Posted

    Hi Tiggers1,

    I completely understand your frustration and determination. Sometimes it's the littlest of things that are our greatest triumph and frustration all wrapped up in one act. These are the times and emotions that people without fierce daily struggles will never grasp. Congratulations on still fighting and continuing to work.

    Please remember to pace yourself though. This isn't easy with children to care for I know. A great psychologist specialising in pai management that I saw gave me this advice. "When you think you still have one more job inside you, STOP. " I used to use my good days and cram everything I could into them. It turns out she was right, by stopping earlier I found I could do a little more the next day. It was a soft way of teaching me to pace myself. I've also learned meditation which has helped me no end.

    Try not to beat yourself up, life can do that for all of us. Take care and gentle hugs xx

    • wendy92629
      wendy92629 lisa52101

      Posted

      yes your quiet right lisa, we all need to pace ourselves more. Stop rushing around and just relax. Often music or a hobby can help our body and mind relax better. Its suprising how much this can help release pain for a short while. It takes determination to overcome these conditions and its great that we now have the internet to share our stories and provide support to each other. Diet is also, a big benifactor and by perhaps writing down daily what you are eating you become more aware of bad things that might be acting as a possible trigger.
  • wendy92629
    wendy92629 tiggers1

    Posted

    Hello, hope you are feeling much better. Have you had any further tests or treatment. Please feel free to share with us as sounds like tremors iin your hands and arms might need looking into further. Best wishes
    • tiggers1
      tiggers1 wendy92629

      Posted

      Hi Wendy I've had recent bloods lately due to the fact I have a lot of memory p4obl3ms that I'm really worried about but I do get a lot of tremors and pain my hands and arms but all the bloods were fine so I will go back to dr and see what else can be done
  • manda08392
    manda08392 tiggers1

    Posted

    I completly empathize with you. I occassionally have a mini break down and it's infuriating but you know what? You GET to cry sometimes and you cried and you picked yourself back up and you were proud you got those damn curtains up! This can be so isolating because we don't want to always repeat ourselves or even hear ourselves talking about the pain so I think it's wonderful to have a place like this to cathartically vent those things that are driving us insane and know that the people reading it understand and aren't going to tell us unrelated stories about things they have tried for a sore ankle. smile Keep your head up, i hope your afternoon went better than your morning.
    • deb97936
      deb97936 manda08392

      Posted

      Great post manda...  you said that well and to the point bless you..  :-)
    • manda08392
      manda08392 deb97936

      Posted

      Aw,thanks deb. 24 hours ago I didn't know this forum existed and am so glad i came across this.
    • deb97936
      deb97936 manda08392

      Posted

      It is such a god-send to have folk to chat, vent, voice, cry and share with our issues and frustrations surrounding our Fibro nonsence..  Makes us feel we are definitely not alone with what Fibro throws at us and the consequences of it.  It is a debilitating illness, but together we are able to support and gain strength, 'that mental strength'...  Before stumbling upon this site and one other forum, I was struggling with total 'quilt' for not being able to explain to anyone who would ask 'whats wrong with you?'..  I was feeling truly awful, awkward and yes quilty.  I was over the last 8 months telling folk I had Fibro, becuase I had personally come to the conclusion that that was actually my issue.  My Doctor kept denying me, BUT I knew I was right.  And yes, I was right, after being fully assessed by a Specialist in Fibro.  YAYE!  What I relief... all that past quilt... unjustified gone!!   Now I can look folk in the eyes and not feel 'a heel, no quilt for not functioning as I used to, not being able to function and work now'...  I do though still have that 'glumness and grieving' at times as I do miss 'me' and my once successful and ambidexterious abilities...  poof gone.  

      BUT... that simply is what it is now and life goes on, and one has to work with oneself as best as one can and not mope to much.. 'we are though, human', so yes we have our moments aye...  All I have now is my doodling with my Oil painting because it helps keep my mind off some pain some days and I also have something to show for my time.  

      If I could sing I would be singing, if I could play an instrument I would to! However, there is still room and time to learn to play an instrument of some sort I guess...  hmmmm food for thought haha

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