haunting memories

Hello, Gavin,

I too have made many unwise choices in life (and still make them!) Decisions and choices are only stupid in retrospect, at the tome they seemed perfectly sound, or were forced upon us by circumstance. If you can atone for them, or ask forgiveness of mistakes (though in my experience, most people express puzzlement and tell you there is nothing to forgive), then by all means, make the attempt. But if not, let it go. Life's too short to shackle yourself with guilt, especially when you can do much more worthwhile things!

Anyway, practical advice. Go for a long walk in the country, or in a wood, observe everything around you, do it slowly, your mind will be so active, it will not have time to think about other matters. Or it will be so exhausted it will refuse to think. Or try to meditate, try to find some peace within yourself. More importantly, learn to forgive yourself. Otherwise, you're stating that you never make mistakes, which is to place yourself in a superhuman category!

Alternatively, try reading John Bradshaw's Healing The Shame That Binds You. I wish I had read it when I was eighteen, it would have saved me years of grief, loneliness and confusion! I hope this helps

Take care

Hi I always try to think that we make choices on the information that we had at the time.....if you were ill, thats why you made a poor choice and never have regrets.  I always think that that was the " bi polar me" and not who I a all the time.  As someone else has said, people rarely remember the things we thought were bad or embarrassing.  What might help you is counselling, its good to off load and learn how to put things into compartments and to get them out of your head.  Good luck