He thinks I gave it to him

How can tht be possible from wat I've read n heard because I am new to this is tht it can only be spread thru the place of contact if u never had any sexual contact with him then how could u have given it to him n it's on his penis he should have had cold sores on his mouth not penis n plus u was not having an outbreak either.

I kno exactly how he feels n u too because I'm currently going thru the same I feel like now I will never find anyone thts going to accept being with me because of this n then I dnt want to b the one to give it to sumone else n they blame me for messing up their life so it's a no win situation.

So dnt be so hard on urself because u told him tge truth u didn't hide anything from him n he continued to b around u so at the end of the day it was still his decision to keep seeing you n you asked him to go to the doctors n get checked u have did ur part now it's left up to him.

Dear Shell55

Dont ever feel like no one will love you because of this disease. I understand just how horrible it feels to find love while living with this disease but there is someone out there for every one of us...herpes or no herpes. What u must understand is that if this man wasn't going to stand by you with herpes then he was not going to stand by you without it. My guess is that this man only wanted sex with you from the beginning and panicked when he realized that he couldnt get that from you so he made something up to make himself feel better about cutting you off because men are so generously selfish sometimes. He probably didnt realize how you felt about him or how you would feel if you "gave him herpes" because if he is your age then he isnt thinking about your feelings anyway. If you havent had sex with him or even touched his private parts and he does have 3 little dots on his penis ( which I find very hard to believe simply because its unlikely for him to get it while you arent outbreaking) then he may have been having sex with someone else. About 80% of the world has been exposed to herpes so its likely that he met someone else who doesnt know that they have it. With the details you described it is impossible for him to have caught anything from you.

At the end of the day if his life does change its because of a decision he made. You cannot blame yourself for any of the changes he is going through. If he was really that worried he would go to the hospital. He would have went without u saying anything. He would have went before telling you anything about it. This guy honestly doesnt sound like a keeper anyway and any man who would agree to talking to you when he thinks he can have sex with you and then backs out when he realizes the going has gotten tough doesnt deserve you!.

Oh and if you dont want him then hes got a lot of growing up to do before his next encounter with a female. He should be just as honest as u were with him

U r very welcome......n I have read tht too tht u can get it from skin to skin contact but only if u r having an outbreak. But the fact of the matter is he being very disrespectful n ignorant about the whole situation, like frfr wat grown man does tht he kno tht u can't get it if there is no kind of outbreak n no kind of sexual contact at the end of the day it's his lost. Regardless of wat health situation u, me n anyone else who has this doesn't mean tht we r bad ppl n we go around intentionally finding ppl to have sex with jus to give them herpes. I hope u feel better about the whole thing soon becuz none if wats going on wit him is ur fault it's his he's a grown man who needs to grow up n stop trying to use others for his mistakes tht he has already made before u even came along.

It sounds like me and you are similar in how we contracted the disease. I am 20 years old and got herpes when travelling from a one night stand. Firstly, you didn't give it to him. That isn't possible so clearly he has either slept with someone else who does or had it all along. You have to remember 1/4 people have it and also that a lot of people have it and don't get an outbreak ever or for years. If I'm honest he doesn't sound like he is concerned about your wellbeing as he should be caring for your feelings too.

I'm also wondering if the people you've had protected sex with since you have always told? I feel like I'm in the minority here but since I got it a year ago I haven't told anyone I've been sexually active with. I am on daily medication and use protection but I feel like I'm the only one who hasn't been brave enough to say anything. I'm planning on telling my boyfriend of 4 months this weekend. I'm so scared and want to hear from other people what they have done in the same situation.

Lastly, you haven't ruined someones life - we have to remember we are still people and it's the stigma that hurts us not the disease. I hope you're ok, feel free to talk to me if you need. I think communication between people going through the same thing is going to be really important for me 

I know how you feel howeveer I feel as though my life has been destroyed...I wasn;t a carrier I was the unlucky lowered immune whom picked it up and within 24 hours had full blown sores and pain like I cannot even share- Your young...and it is important to share I have to believe in my heart if someone loves you- they will work on things with you- regardless of what was exchanged phyically- I hate to say it- at your age typical a guy would say "you gave this to me"....that is VERY typical... I am over 2x your age- men do give better feedback....not many but some do- 

DONT feel guilt- I learned from my gyno- even your mother having a normal delivery with you she could have passed it on- that's how common it is- but not descrbed this way in most forums... my doctor shared this with me too...