Help

Darren,

at a guess I'd say your mind is going at a hundred miles and hour, you probably feel like a zombie, awake but not alive? Whilst medication is great it does rely on acceptance, the trouble is sometimes we can fight the medication just to prove it doesn't work. You have worked yourself into an anxious ball of neurosis and Dr Google probably hasn't helped. It kind of like people who research the medications they are given and scare themselves witless regarding the side effects. If I could suggest two things for you to try they would be

1) relax, mediated before bed or listen to a self hypnosis session they are easy to download. 

2) as the old expression goes "a watched pot never boils" well it's the same with sleep, you can't force yourself it sleep it's counterproductive, try accepting that you may not get to sleep for a while tonight, relax in bed with a good book and enjoy the silence and the book, your body will soon take over.

the cruel part of anxiety is it messes with our routines, this makes us tired and frustrated which feeds the anxiety. You know the problem which is half the battle, you now need to fight without fighting (I sound like a zen master) beat anxiety by finding calm. I hope this helps, please keep me updated on your progress

Darren 

feeling nervous, scared and paranoid is normal, you'd have to hunt high and low on here to find someone who ain't been there. As for a night in the affects of alcohol can be enhanced by Clomipraline so I'd steer clear for now. Your task right now is to find some calm, while a night on the tiles might sound like a welcome relief you might spend the night awake with a hangover for company. Be strong, relax (easier said than done I know) and remember this is an illness, your not defective, crazy or a loser your ill and accepting that will help

Hi Darren,

Meds can help, but they are an aid, not a permanent fix. You should probably see a therapist too. They can help you find ways to manage the anxiety that almost certainly worsens your sleep issues. I didn't begin my own recovery until I started working with a psychologist.

There are other good habits to get into as well. I think we've been having a good discussion here: https://patient.info/forums/discuss/the-fear-of-not-getting-back-to-sleep-depression-anxiety-hell--414073?page=0#1405661.   

Lastly, I'd like to offer some hope. I've been where you are now, constantly afraid about not sleeping. But when I started really working on it, I was able to recover. There IS a solution that will work for you, and you WILL get better.

Hi Darren, I have been in the exactly same place as your reading your story made me think is this writing this.  I have been on and off like this for years. The last time I was like this was just before Christmas and I was in a bad way to.  I know exactly what what tie thinking,you can't see how you are you going to get out of this.  My doctor changed my medication and put me on diazepam which I must say relaxed me before bed.  I used to have a hot bath and hot milk and took the diazepam an hour before bed and it helped me.  You are the exactly the same as me worry of a night am I going to sleep tonight.  The more I worried the more I got anxious.  But you just have to get in that sleep patten, and tell yourself out loud I am going to sleep tonight, so go away and leave me alone, the brain is a very powerful thing and you can't let it win.  Ask your doctor to give you some diazepam it helped me and I still now and again take one if I feel anxious of a night.  You will get through this. Keep stronge Darren, regards DebbieDebbie