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I am unable to confide in anyone re my depression

Posted , 10 users are following.

Veronica111
Veronica111

I do not have anyone to confide as I haven't any friends close enough to understand or be sympathetic. Any advice please?

2 likes, 37 replies

37 Replies

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  • lattifa7777
    lattifa7777 Veronica111

    Posted

    You can talk to us, we are here to support

    Each other, tell me what's been happening?

  • liana01735
    liana01735 Veronica111

    Posted

    Make sure you speak to your doctor about how you are feeling and to discuss treatment options. Also I think you may be surprised how understanding your friends may be if you open up to them, it may even make you closer. However I appreciate this may be very hard especially as depression is an isolating experience that makes it hard to connect with people. When you get treatment and start to feel more confident try new hobbies to get out and meet some like minded people and you may make a connection because having close friends to talk to makes all the difference in the world. Or speaking to people on here will make you appreciate that you’re not alone. I know that sounds daunting now but trust me it will get easier over time, just take things at your own pace. x
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 liana01735

      Posted

      Thank you, I am due to go back to see the doctor soon. My friends all seem so 'together' confident, capable and independent . I havent got any close friends, I think I bore people !! as I am not a confident person although I put on a brave face and try my best. I haven't got any reason to be depressed, I miss my 2 sons so much even though they are married with children. I still cry about this even now!! They have their own lives, they are very good but I don't see one of them very much at all and of course they are so busy.Thank you so much for caring, that is so important. x
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 Veronica111

    Posted

    This is one of the reasons...our depression gets worse  You are not alone because what depression has done to my life...has scared everyone away.  People end up not knowing what to say anymore..so instead they stop answering calls, mobile texts get shorter and shorter...and then they dissappear.  I know they think of us...but they are helpless.

    Which makes me isolate more...and get more depressed it is such a vicious cycle.

    My only advice for you and I try to do this myself....When you meet someone new...try VERY hard to not always be a "downer".

    Example:  I met a woman in a convience store I go to...I started telling her my problems...over and over...and then one day I noticed that she...wasn't responding to me as much...and I realized when I got in my car...."I really like her and I need to stop complaining to her all the time and become a little bit interested in her day".  Or "put on a happy face at least a couple times I go in the store, crack a joke...etc".

    And it worked...I don't want to scare her away...she is a very nice woman who I am becoming pretty close to.  Its work..it really is...but you have to recognize how depressing WE CAN BE. 

    I still complain to her an awful lot...but I really do try and catch myself....and stop once in a while.

    And to get friends that are "close" enough as in your case....you have to try and care and ask about how they are doing....maybe you do that and maybe you don't SHARE how you are doing...if that is the case...than open up and share....people are compassionate...but people can also only take so much of us complaining.

    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thanks a lot, that is very helpful, makes sense, I do try to be upbeat but it is really hard sometimes. Thank you
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 Veronica111

      Posted

      It is really hard...but that is what we have to push THRU if we want support from others.
    • samantha77967
      samantha77967 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thank you yes I do need to stop complaining at times, people do move away from me when I am on a downer which makes me upset. I will try and be kinder to others and do things for them. I have been so emotional lately need to go back to doctors I was on setraline but they stopped working after a year . When they worked I was a different person don't know if doc will prescribe something else to try. I have just been fighting it without meds  but I feel like I am losing the battle again. It's so exhausting you smile and try and go about your life but inside i feel so down.  

       

  • carole28488
    carole28488 Veronica111

    Posted

    Hi, Denale...We, as a group, are all here to help you.  Everyone on this board has suffered from depression and or anxiety....Please see a doctor to get on the right meds for you, and stay with us and let us help you.  You are NOT alone....HUGS.
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 carole28488

      Posted

      Thank you, felt bad today, just feel like I cant cope and get irritated and annoyed. Just wish I could snap out of it. Can't see the doctor I've seen before until Dec. Hard because my husband sees my posts, hasn't yet but he will not like me being on here. Thanks again.
  • jamie1918
    jamie1918 Veronica111

    Posted

    I know how you feel im here for you anytime my friend im sure one of your friends would listen i thought nobody would understand but they will your friends care about you and want the best for you. Get an appointment with your doctor if you feel intimedated/nervous scared just remember the doctor will have dealt with so many cases before yours they can help you ,maybe get a friend or a close family member to come with you maybe they can help you when talking to the doctor about how your feeling or even if its just to wait outside for you.You are not alone and you can get better stay strong mate. 
    • hypercat
      hypercat Veronica111

      Posted

      Hi I totally agree with Missy.   My best friend I could go to with all my woes,  she would listen,  then tell me all hers.  We would end up drinking endless cups of coffee and laughing and putting th world to rights.

      It always dismays me when depressives have an obsessive need to endlessly talk about how they are feeling.  I find that often in company the best thing to do is use it as a distraction from those thoughts.  No matter how depressed I am I usually feel better after seeing friends.  Ok there are times when you have to get it out but not every time and not to excess as you do drive everyone away in the end.   Depression is a very selfish illness and we often forget that helping others with their problems can help us with ours.  That's what I have found anyway.  x

    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 hypercat

      Posted

      That's true, helping others does help me! I think you are rite, its not always good to talk about it, but I'm constantly on this forum, my son gets angry with me and tells me to stop, but it does help too, I dunno, I'm just weird I guess lol
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 hypercat

      Posted

      Yes, I realise that depression can be selfish, I've admitted that myself. I just think about me me me! I do ok for a while, then it comes back .my brain stops me from doing what I want to do.Ahhhhh !!!!
    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 Veronica111

      Posted

      Gosh I know 😞 same as me me me looool 😂 we have to put some humour in somewhere x
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 lattifa7777

      Posted

      Was on Citalopram for years, been on Sertraline for few weeks, not very good today. Managed to hide the way I am for years but am finding it hard not to loose it and blurt things out or react in the wrong way with people. That would be a nightmare! Also worried that this isn't private!
    • jamie1918
      jamie1918 Veronica111

      Posted

      its nothing friend let me know how things go im here for you anytime x
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 lattifa7777

      Posted

      Have had ups and downs, just don't want to do things, well cant to tell the truth. Made an effort today and did ok, but back to square 1 again now i'm home.
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 jamie1918

      Posted

      thank you, just know people are going to see these posts eventually, don't think that will be good if they do. Keep deleting them ! i am going to ask the doc to up my dose if she will when I go in Dec. How are you?
    • jamie1918
      jamie1918 Veronica111

      Posted

      oh ok how do i delete them ? what tablets do you take what effects do you get? im struggling a lot to be honest.
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 jamie1918

      Posted

      Are you on a phone or computer? On my phone there is a little pic of a bin, so you click on that. On the computer there is a delete icon top left, you click on that. Not very clear I know!! I have been on Sertraline for 8 weeks, before that Citalopram. I've had nausea, palpitations, feel like staying in bed.So sorry you're struggling, don't beat yourself up about it. Thinking of you and hoping you feel much better very soon.
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Veronica111

      Posted

      You can delete everything you do on your phone, comouter and ipads. On the ipad go to settings and then click safari or whatever engine the on the left scroll down and it says delete or clear hit that and it will delete. Every device has this. The phone it depends on yiur onine you can search how to delete my searches on...out in device and it will tell you. Your husband should be a bit more concerned with your well being then oaranoid or upset if you use a site that comforts you. This is your life as well and this site is very lovely. Its not a stigma to seek out comfort or help. Some people gets a bit ansy or uncomfortable with going on oublic sites but hinestly a tremendous amount of people are dealing with carious issues in life and we now have the luzury of the internet to find people we can assimilate with and maybe help or get help from. Empty nest syndrome sucks. Its now a time to find yourself and figure out what brings you joy. A cat or puppy can be very comforting and you would be caring for it and they bring love. Dogs are very comforting. My dog is wonderful and they cuddle up or push you to take walks or play with them. Very nice feeling, a lot of work so etimes but well worth the unconditional love they provide. Also maybe go on an anxiety retreat if you can. They have tons of them. I have never dine one but many people i know have gone on one or two. Even seminars or webinars are nice. The ipod or ipad is the easiest to roam on and very simole to delete your trail. Very user friendly.
    • Madasahatter
      Madasahatter Veronica111

      Posted

      Sertraline is THE worst antidepressant on the market. See any doctor if you are in a group practice, don't wait just to see your own doctor. I was on Sertraline for months and it actually made me worse so my dr put me on fluoxetine which  is excellent. It's made me put on weight and sweat a lot, but at least I can face the world again and not feel suicidal all the time. If your OH reads this then don't tick the follow box and change your password. Sometimes we need non-involved people to chat too. I haven't told my hubby I'm depressed but I'm pretty sure he's guessed! Good luck and get some help right away.
    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 Madasahatter

      Posted

      Oh dear, maybe I should mention fluoxetine to the doctor when I see her. Sertraline is not helping yet !!

      Thanks for your advice.

    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 jamie1918

      Posted

      Sorry Jamie, on my post I meant that I keep deleting posts, not that you should, sorry I worded it wrong. Take Care.
    • hypercat
      hypercat Madasahatter

      Posted

      Everyone is different as fluoextine didn't work for me but sertraline works well.   Is it a good idea for the wellbeing of those on here to run down an ad so much just because it didn't work for you?  Isn't it creating worries for those who are on it?   Don't forget everyone is different and what suits some won't suit everyone.  x

       

    • Veronica111
      Veronica111 hypercat

      Posted

      I know what you mean, we are all different so have different reactions to medication.I am going to keep on Sertraline for a few months to give it a chance to take effect. xx
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