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I have a fear of getting cancer or any type of illness, I need help.

Posted , 78 users are following.

iwanttobenormal
iwanttobenormal

I'm pretty new to these kind of forums so sorry if what I am about to say sounds utterly bonkers, but I've developed this fear of getting cancer, I feel like an utter coward and a fool for feeling like this and especially selfish to all the brave people out there fighting it. 

I can't really define what has triggered this fear as my family thankfully are very healthy specimens, however I know alot of family friends that have got different kinds of cancer, some lucky and still in remission and others not so fortunate.

I constantly fear that I have cancer, a tummy ache and i have stomach or bowel cancer, a headache and i have a brain tumour etc I am constantly poking and prodding at anything i think isn't normal for me. Its gotten so bad that i have myself in a routine now to keep myself sane, I wake up in the morning and read something awful that has maybe happened to a young female like myself and all of a sudden they have either been diagnosed or have died from cancer and then i totally freak and will pick up my laptop and check symptoms and then convince myself that I have it and then will end up having a panic attack followed by uncontrollable crying, I can't do this anymore. I have a great loving partner but this is a special year for him so he needs to be committed to the project he is working on not being my carer 24/7. I can't eat properly any more or even go out the door without fearing i might take a panic attack, I am trying to keep positive some days but I'm finding it tough, we have recently moved to Bedford so I don't have any friends to go see or talk to and take my mind of this.

Is it always going to be like this? i feel so trapped and bullied by my own mind at the moment. I just want to be normal again.

I would really appreciate any advice or tips on how I can kick this.

Thanks everyone.

x

6 likes, 86 replies

86 Replies

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  • sally67691
    sally67691 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    im exactly the same as you. It's terrible feeling. I get myself in such a panic. Iv been the docs an they have put me on clitrapram. An Iv also been for cognitive behaviour therapy. Which I found really helps. The more u think u have a pain it becomes real. Iv also found by asking all these lovely people on this difrent ways to relax. The one I find help is reading. Takes your mind away from everything. But I really think cbt really helps. Hope you find something to help you. Xx 
    • iwanttobenormal
      iwanttobenormal sally67691

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your words of comfort, it means alot to hear from someone else experiencing this too. I am going to go see a Dr within the week and I feel i will be able to explain this better to them now that I know I'm not alone in this. I used design and illustrate but since the anxieties have taken over not so much and most definately i love to read. 

      Maybe I need to get myself back in those things to help me think more positively and less time being a worry wart. 

      Thank you xo

    • sally67691
      sally67691 iwanttobenormal

      Posted

      You really need to try an get back to what you enjoy. It's really hard. But it dose help. If you ever feel alone you can always talk on here. People don't judge you an are very reassuring. I'm very new to this. But people have really helped an give good advice. Iv been so scared to go out incase I faint or have a heart attack. Iv made all kinds of excuses. Iv also had pancreas cancer bone cancer an many more. All in one week😁. But I'm slowly getting there. I hope you do to. Xxx. 
    • flosslovesjas
      flosslovesjas sally67691

      Posted

      I find just sitting in the library reading helps. Its so hard to overcome though
    • hypochondriac88
      hypochondriac88 sally67691

      Posted

      I have similar fears.  For the past few weeks I've been burping every second, and it usually leads to cramps.  I keep worrying that it's stomach cancer or pancreatic cancer, especially because my uncle died from pancreatic cancer last year.

  • richard89308
    richard89308 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    everyone has their own personal fears and anxieties so don't feel alienated it is perfectly normal.  We all fear death and this thought about getting cancer may be linked to general normal fear of dying.  Keep talking on the forum and you will get lots of advice.

    Richard

    • iwanttobenormal
      iwanttobenormal richard89308

      Posted

      Thank you Richard for your reply, I feel a slight optimisim knowing I'm not alone with this and that people are here to listen and help out.
  • tracie20455
    tracie20455 iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    No one here will think you are bomkers! You won't be judged here as we have all got our own anxieties and cancer is a poular one if that is the right term!  I think personally its time you saw the doctor, CBT is very helpful and you might need some meds for a while to lift you out of the fog...hope this helps, and hope to see you sticking around for chats, we're very freindly here
    • iwanttobenormal
      iwanttobenormal tracie20455

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply to my issue, I am definately going to see a Dr now that I know I'm not alone in this and talking to you's will definately give me the courage to explain this to them. I feel alot more optimistic now. 

      Thanks 

  • sandraJayne
    sandraJayne iwanttobenormal

    Posted

    Hi I want to be...

    I am new here too but I have found reading words of encourangement here very helpful, simply knowing that I am not the only one feeling this way helps a lot. Sally recomends reading, I read a lot too, I also find walking helps, especially if the sun is shining, anything that distracts you from your worrying thoughts helps.  I have been assured that this will pass and I believe that (kinda have to dont we).

    Keep talking anyone who will listen and that includes us.

    *hugs*

    • iwanttobenormal
      iwanttobenormal sandraJayne

      Posted

      Hi sandraJayne, 

      Thank you so much for the reply, it is nice not to feel alienated with this, I do believe there is a light at every tunnel but for the moment I'm still in the tunnel and the only way I'll get out is getting proper help and talking to all you sweet people. This has definitately lifted my spirits a little and I feel less self destructive. 

      I hope you will get passed this too 

      x

    • alexia47775
      alexia47775 iwanttobenormal

      Posted

      Hi

      I am new to these forums. I came across this forum after googling cancer phobia.

      I can always remember from early childhood having major anxiety and fearing that I will stop breathing at any moment but as I got to my late teens my anxiety turned to cancer after finding a lump in my breast. The lump was removed and luckily was benign but since then I feared for years about getting cancer.

      Now I fear all cancers and every new ache or pain is some kind of cancer. My insecurities have also shifted from not just worrying about myself but worrying about my children and grandchildren. Every time I hear they are poorly I have terrible thoughts and anxiety. I literally can't cope with these overwhelming feelings and worry of leaving my family if I die or fear of losing one of them.. I sometimes feel stupid but it is also so real to me.

      I have been to the doctors and they gave me antidepressants but I defo need counselling. I do get comfort knowing it's not just me that feels this way but it doesn't stop me worrying on a daily basis.. I need it to stop so that I can just get on and enjoy my life and family.

    • Big_lass_j
      Big_lass_j alexia47775

      Posted

      Hi Alexia I could be you are you could be me ...I know your post was a while since but hope you see this. Can I ask how old you are? I am 62 and having a bad time at the mo, no sleep can’t eat feel sick crying al day... just come back from Docs reassured me some what and give me a low dose of Diazepam to help me sleep, hope this makes me feel a bit better... my heart goes out to all anxiety sufferers terrible lonely place to be.. stay strong all... 
    • corina37253
      corina37253 alexia47775

      Posted

      Hi, I hope you are well.  I just wondered how you were doing.  I have been experiencing exactly the same things you have.  I am struggling massively and wondered if you had any tips. I’ve tried cbt and medication and a year on I’m still struggling 😔

    • corina37253
      corina37253 Big_lass_j

      Posted

      Hi I’m going through the exactly the same thing as you.  I’m struggling massively it would be nice to know I’m not alone and have someone to talk to.  I worry about everything and dread every day 😔

    • Big_lass_j
      Big_lass_j corina37253

      Posted

      Hi Corina.. you are certainly not alone I wake every morning with the horrible anxiety.. wish I could say some words of comfort but at the moment I am really bad and feel very lonely, but you are not alone and it does help to talk to people.. and I can talk if that helps I feel on my own because I am older 62, I really feel for the young ones that are dealing with this terrible illness I have been a sufferer for many year.. I have had cancer, I did deal with it well, I got to be honest I never thought I would be able to, but I live to tell the tale, still doesn’t stop me worrying I do have some good days.. maybe it’s that I am older and think I should not be like this..I do wish mor than any think I could sort my head out. 
    • constantworry
      constantworry alexia47775

      Posted

      This is really to anyone that finds this forum looking for cancerphobia or hyperchondria or similar. Everybody searches out these forums in dark times when under the shadow of an impending cancer diagnosis. Most, for the time being at least will be cancer free but their lives will be blighted by constant, never ending thoughts, feelings and beliefs that this time it is cancer. Not just cancer but the worst kind, perhaps inoperable but always a variant that will completely destroy them from within. Their own body is going to kill them in a hideous manner and all that can be done is to watch for it in the hope you'll stop it in time.

      My father died in 1994 from bowel cancer at 55. I read up around cancer from his diagnosis at 53 until his death. 2 years later I brought on IBS through stress over worries surrounding cancer. I then had a colonoscopy to check. Since then I've had tests and moles etc removed due to my anguish. I've worried most days and nights. I've been at weddings and parties, been talking to people and outwardly giving an appearance of enjoyment, while all the time I've just wanted to get home so I can double check something I've been worrying about.

      Many of you will be long term worries. Long term believers that you will 100% become a statistic. I cant stop myself worrying. I've destroyed so much of my life over cancer fears. My wife left me at one time because this doesn't just affect yourself. Ultimately if anyone reading can look at the fears they may now be starting to have and can look at what this will do to their lives if they let it. I'm 30 years older but so unhappy. My wife fears nothing but instead will face what comes her way. I will need to do the same but I've already destroyed 30 years of my life, I'm now 50, waiting for this hideous disease to ambush me. Please live in the now if you possibly can because I've destroyed what could have been a far better life. Not just for me but my family. 30 years of fear is no joke but doesn't have to be the next 20 somethings date. Good luck and good life all.

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