I'll have to give it a go

Hi Paul, thanks for the reply, so far so good did have some sweats last night and im thinking partly withdrawal and partly humidity

My Mrs came home from work last night ...........with a bottle of vodka i didnt indulge even though she offered me twice, and the bloody urge to say yes was very strong but kept reminding my self of the back pain

if i do get serious withdrawals, although i think im ok should i drink?

or what other opptions are there?

Have you told your wide what you are doing, Paul? You could really do with her not bringing booze home and offering it to you.

You should be past the point where you will suffer bad withdrawal symptoms now, Paul. You are likely to still crave a drink though at times.

I haven't told her paul I know I should but on Sunday she preached that we or more specifically me need to cut out the drink due to our weight gain and eat healthier. I was a bit annoyed that she brought home vodka but I think I have to sit her down and explain my cravings 

at this moment in time 18:00 day 3 I'm fighting with my cravings as I could murder a couple of pints now

Drink the couple of pints you crave, Poor you. Then try and stop abruptly. If you wake up tomorrow after another session which you didn't intend. You're probably alcoholic. Stop craving attention and stop messing around. People die from this.

 

I did mean 'wife' of course

Bit harsh Richard

Yeah, it is harsh. This disease is harsh.

im not craving attention at all Richard just documenting my feelings/thoughts i do understand that people die from this

I lost my mother to f##k knows how many bottles of whiskey and watching her convulsing while spewing up blood prior to intensive care and her death still didnt wise me up

 

It won't. Nothing will. I had to expreience my own experience and subsequent surrender.

Because it is a physiological problem, not a psychological one. The psychological issues come later for many people after they have been talked into believing they are bad people.

There are different methods of treatment. People should use what works best for them.

You're right it's a physiological one. It's also physical and spiritual. Until I understood this and gave in, I kept drinking.

How is analysing all this working out for you?

 

I am following this discussion as I have a drink problem too. Few weeks sober now. Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Sounds like you've been through a lot and I don't think you're craving attention at all. You're just being honest and saying how you're feeling, good on you! Keep trying you've done so well. Can't you just say to your wife that you both need to try and stop drinking for a while so that there's no drink in the house. ? I'm sure she will be supportive as she suggested it? I couldn't do this if I was living with another drinker. So well done and don't give up. We can do this! :-)

I tried to stop on my own. I'd always drink again. When I wasn't drinking, I'd be thinking of drinking. I'd always go back to drinking and then drink more than I intended. Once the alcohol was in me the craving would continue beyond my control. I'd drink until I passed out. That was years ago. My drinking was never really 'social'. Though for years, I told myself I was in control and due to the circles I was in and the pubs I frequented and then the bottles of wine after the pub, I lived the fantasy that everyone drank like me and this was normal.

It progressed. I ended up in an asylum for a day, numerous jail cells and then the hospital. On two occassions the dts. I saw tormenting ghosts telling me they were going to kill me for five days and they would be there all day following me to the pub. I drank to get rid of them. This I later learned, were dts. I got into a pub fight and had my ribs broken and was separated from alcohol, only because I was in hospital with broken ribs, for 48 hours, this is when the dts kick in. I had still told myself I was drinking socially. Before this experience I'd been on a three-month bender. Rememeber, I began as and still believed I was a 'social' drinker and I was in control.

I went to rehab, got an alcohol worker through the NHS. I still kept drinking and kept getting arrested. Left England and had a three day black out in an airport.

I kept drinking. Suicide seemes like an option. I kept drinking. Another detox and then I gave in. I surrendered. Alcohol is more powerful than I am. I asked for help from A.A. and worked The Steps.

I haven't drank for 9 months and 15 days.

I couldn't do it on my own. I had lost the choice in drinking alcohol. No matter what my memories were of my past drinking I always returned to it. My will power was non-existent and failed in regards to alcohol.

My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.

Thank God, that I've relaised that and I get the chance to make amends.

 

It's not about working it out for ME, Richard. It's about being supportive to people with a problem who often get seen extremely negatively by society. I don't believe that people should be forced to accept all of the blame for a condition they never chose to be inflicted with.

What would the reaction be if we had cancer patients standing up and saying how their illness was all their fault and that they had been terrible people, hurting their families? It would be a scandal.

That is how I see the demonisation of people with alcohol addiction.

Society's attitude needs changing towards people who suffer this terrible illness but we have a long way to go as even doctors still believe that it is a self-inflicted life choice.

Have you read my story? I am not coming from an academic, "Istudied alcoholism viepoint. I had enough of those people when I was trying to get help and asked 'Doctors'. True, I wasn't honest enough with them. Not surprising they failed me. I failed myself by being dishonest and then nearly died a few times.

"I tried to stop on my own. I'd always drink again. When I wasn't drinking, I'd be thinking of drinking. I'd always go back to drinking and then drink more than I intended. Once the alcohol was in me the craving would continue beyond my control. I'd drink until I passed out. That was years ago. My drinking was never really 'social'. Though for years, I told myself I was in control and due to the circles I was in and the pubs I frequented and then the bottles of wine after the pub, I lived the fantasy that everyone drank like me and this was normal.

It progressed. I ended up in an asylum for a day, numerous jail cells and then the hospital. On two occassions the dts. I saw tormenting ghosts telling me they were going to kill me for five days and they would be there all day following me to the pub. I drank to get rid of them. This I later learned, were dts. I got into a pub fight and had my ribs broken and was separated from alcohol, only because I was in hospital with broken ribs, for 48 hours, this is when the dts kick in. I had still told myself I was drinking socially. Before this experience I'd been on a three-month bender. Rememeber, I began as and still believed I was a 'social' drinker and I was in control.

I went to rehab, got an alcohol worker through the NHS. I still kept drinking and kept getting arrested. Left England and had a three day black out in an airport.

I kept drinking. Suicide seemes like an option. I kept drinking. Another detox and then I gave in. I surrendered. Alcohol is more powerful than I am. I asked for help from A.A. and worked The Steps.

I haven't drank for 9 months and 15 days.

I couldn't do it on my own. I had lost the choice in drinking alcohol. No matter what my memories were of my past drinking I always returned to it. My will power was non-existent and failed in regards to alcohol.

My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic.

Thank God, that I've relaised that and I get the chance to make amends."

Stay in the blame of society and doctors. It's more comfortable. I had to admit my part in the addiction to acohol and my part in the illness first. I had to be honest. I had to surrender and leave the blame and debating society. I had to admit my powerlessness and unmanageability with regards to alcoholism before I could begin my recovery.

I am not surprised at all that you were let down by doctors, Richard. The majority of people coming here have found that they haven't been offered a medical approach that has helped them. That doesn't mean that there isn't a medical approach which does work.

Yes, you and I differ in that you are coming from the point-of-view of a person who has suffered this awful affliction. I am coming from the point of view of a person who has been working to help people with addiction problems for more than 25 years. I am constantly appalled at the poor services offered to people with addiction and the bad attitude that is displayed by healthcare professionals and the rest of society.

I don't believe that drinkers should have to blame themselves anymore than a person suffering with any other medical disorder should. I find that people welcome the opportunity to say (and be believed) 'this is not my fault.' They also welcome the respect and understanding shown by a person who understands the real cause of the problem.

Ask yourself why the success rate of rehab is less than 10% and The Sinclair Method, a medical approach has a 78% success rate in Finland.

As I always say, people should do what works for them.

I agree with you that a person with an alcohol problem cannot simply blame society and doctors. While it is not a person's fault that they got an alcohol problem in the first place, the responsibility to find a solution does fall on their own shoulders.

I'm afraid I can't go along with the 'powerlessness' bit but it would be a boring world if we all had the same views on everything

Please elaborate "shown by a person who understands the real cause of the problem."

A person who recognises that alcohol addiction is a medical condition and not a life choice.

Yeah, I lost that choice.

You never had that choice That is my point, there is no choice about getting into trouble in the first place. The only time you get a choice is when you decide which treatment methods you will try.

Ah f**k the choice. I'm an addict alcoholic with none months and 16 days off both. I f*****d around with 'em for long enough and thought I was the one in control. The booze and the rest are more powerful than me. AA put me enabled me to find something bigger (my conception of and willingness) than me which is solving my problem, that which is me. The booze and the drugs were only the solution.

I am not doubting that, Richard. I am simply saying that one method doesn't suit everybody. I think you do yourself down by thinking of it as a personal weakness. It's an illness like cancer and heart disease. AA works for you and that is great, for YOU. Many people can't deal with AA, it simply doesn't make any sense to them. Those people will try other methods and have more success than if they did something they didn't believe in. Clearly you have worked hard to get where you are and should be congratulated.

Thanl you. I think of it as a strength. AA has enabled me to see it as a strrength. True, I had to surrender and admit to the fact of being an alcoholic. I had to look for my part in the illness. I have to continue making amends for my past actions. Then the reults are immeasurable. The negative becomes a positive, Fear became courage, Reluctance became perseverence. Terror became serenity.