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i'm anxious, depressed, and scared, PLEASE help me I cant take this anymore

Posted , 8 users are following.

asd86040
asd86040

  Recently I've become more and more depressed and anxious and I don't understand where its all coming from. I know someone who had a break down because of these issues and they can't cope with their life anymore. I don't want to go through the same thing. It's gotten worse actually, I would be scared to walk on the street or go to crowded places. Everywhere I go I feel like people are judging me or think I'm weird. Whenever there's people whispering or laughing, I feel like they're talking about me. Sometimes they are. Once these two girls were on the bus and this one girl sat behing me and yelled:" it stinks here!" so they moved to the otherside. Afterwards they were discussing why and I guess they dcided to blame it on me because suddenly one of them said really loudly:"Maybe she never showers!!" I was the only one sitting there. I care a lot about my personal hygenie so I'm pretty sure it wasn't me but for someone who's so self-conscious that hurt a lot. It also made my parinoia worse. I literary have no self-esteem, I hate everything about myself including my looks and personality. I can't give a speech in front of a class without looking like an idiot or stuttering. I'm constantly scared of looking stupid or embrassing myself. Looking people in the eye is like vegetarians eating meat. I feel like I have no control over my body, people would say stuff like:" you look like you're about to cry." when I feel perfectly fine or "why is your face like that". I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and I feel like I'm embrassing myself all the time. At school I dropped so many courses and quite so many activities because I just want to go home and lock myself in my room. Nothing seems fun anymore. I stopped hangingout with my friends because I feel too uncomfortable around them and pushed people away.  I have no energy and feel so tired all the time. Also I always find people laughing at me or smirking whenever I walk by or say something. Today this guy that was talking to me looked so awkward and uncomfortable. I wanted to jump into a crack. I'm so sensitive its ruining my life. I wish I can just be normal again and go about my life like before, hangingout with friends and cracking jokes. Now winter break's gonna be over and I have to go back to school where everone thinks I'm weird and stupid. Looking forward to that. Please help me, I just want to be myself again.

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • lattifa7777
    lattifa7777 asd86040

    Posted

    Hi maybi ask how old you are? Have you spoken to your dr?

    Or even a relative or friend about these issues?

    I want you to know that what youbate going through is depression and anxiety and it is very treatable , you wont be like it for ever. How long has this been going on?

    • asd86040
      asd86040 lattifa7777

      Posted

      hello, i'm 17 yrs old.  i haven't spoken to my doctor also since i've just recently moved i dont have a lot of friends either. I'm not close with and family relatives, not even my mom and dad because i use to move around alot between house holds so thats not an option either. Its been a few months since it first started. 
    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 asd86040

      Posted

      First step is make an appointment with ypur dr, choose a dr you have seen before and feel comfortable with, you must open up to the dr and tell them everything that yoi have told us. This will be a the first and biggest step to you getting well again. The dr will listen to you and will not judge you, its her job to make you better , in order to do that you must tell her everything you are going through. Your not stupid or weak you are evwr so strong . Young people and even older people can be very mean and judgmental of things they dont understand. If they felt the way you felt just for a min they wpuld not be able to handle it at all and would nwvwr judge again how somone looks or behaves. I know I am much more sympathetic and caringbto people I dont understandvwhat is gping onnwith them., and it will in time make you the same and make you stronger happier . Plese let me know when you have booked your dr appointment and how it goes. You will get better I promise.

      Just keep strong for now and come on here to talk it does really help.

      Lots of big hugs x

    • asd86040
      asd86040 lattifa7777

      Posted

      thank you for the support, you don't know how much it means to me especially when i've never really told anyone about this and felt so alone. Its just something i bottled up for such a long time. I'll try and make an appointment but  whenever i try, i feel too anxious about meeting my doctor. 
    • lattifa7777
      lattifa7777 asd86040

      Posted

      Plz plz do try and make that step, I know how hard it is. But you have to think that if you do go to your dr that in a few weeks you will be better. Xx hugs to you x
  • Alwaysannette
    Alwaysannette asd86040

    Posted

    You just told my story. I thought that I was 5he only one who felt like this. Everything you mentioned is going on. I'm an agoraphobic. Can't go out to work so I am not making any money for bills so I lost my place and am making my roommate fall farther into debt maybe even bankruptcy.

    Getting to the point, I just want you to know you're not alone. You're not weird or stupid and neither am I! We have to remember this! I am trying to get into counseling and to get disability at this point my fears as irrational as they are; are winning. Get into a counceler who deals with our issue in particular. Don't wait as long as I have and become stuck in your home left to feel even lesser of a person. I'd interested in hearing what you do find that helps. Just remember that if they love you they'll do their best to understand and if they don't and wanna tease or make fun of you they don't matter. Easier said than done I know, but try your best.

    • asd86040
      asd86040 Alwaysannette

      Posted

        it feels soo good knowing that i'm not the only one and good for you getting help! Iogically I know I should get help but then my anxiety kicks in so thats gonna be a bit of a challenge.But i'll keep trying.I understand what you're saying but its just so hard to stop worrying even though i know they're irrelavent. And the more i worry the more i try not to show it  the more uncomfortable i seem. I guess in a sense this is a good thing figuring out who's really there for me. Thank you for sharing your story and I really hope we can overcome this. <3>
    • YOD
      YOD asd86040

      Posted

      Hi.

      I'm 51 yrs old.

      Your story was me when i was 29.

      I had all your symptoms, thinking everyone hated me,was talking about me,agraphobia & clostaphobia(at same time),worried all the time,dropping out of things,dropping friends,stopped going out,just wanted to get home & lock the world out. I never told anyone about the enormous stress i was suffering from.I just carried on working and hating it. Could'nt wait to get home at 4.30pm everyday, draw the curtains and lock the world out.

      8 months later i was in full breakdown mode.

      People were sarcastic and mean commented around me and i did let it get at me,which made matters worse.I ignored them and their comments unless i was sure they meant me but i did assume they knew what i was going through.They didn't have a clue.It was only a select few, but they were just tossa's and knew only that i wasn't fighting back,so would make snide comments whenever i was around.

      If i knew then what i know now my advice to myself would be, no matter what, keep your head up, always.You are worth 10 of these people.

      Don't think you can fight it on your own and deff get that app with a doc.

      Powerful thought can help immensely but sometimes you need that extra help.

      And remember no matter how you are feeling you can and will beat it.go the right way and do it alot quicker.

      You are NOT alone asd86040, and there are many many people that are with you in spirit if not in person and many going through the same thing. so don't let it destroy you.Give yourself a fighting chance.It's not your fault.

      I'm with you along with a lot of others,judging by the response to your plea.

      The help with these problems are better today than they were in 94 when it stuck me, so fight through your anxiety and make that app.

      I'm sure once you do you will be walking down the street and not feeling you are the centre of attention or feeling your standing out like you are a large orange.(if you know what i mean).

      A long journey starts with a tiny single step & that step is your phone call.

      Best of luck young lady.

      Regards.

      YOD

  • lisa17089
    lisa17089 asd86040

    Posted

    Hi there reading your post there are so many things I can relate to. I feel fat,;ugly etc and can't public speak. I go red and blotchy and have trouble breathing. So you are not alone there. I suffer anxiety also and have little interest in things I use to find fun. What you need is a good doctor. tell them how you are ferling, in fact tell them exactly what you have wrote down here. They should get you the right help you need and maybe try some medication. I know a lot of people don't want to go down the tablet route snd they defiantly make you feel worse before your better, but they really do help. And if that's what it takes for you to feel good about yourself, then go with it.that along with some counselling and you should start to enjoy things again. Big hugs and take care. And make that Dr's appointment asap xx
  • Superbrain3000
    Superbrain3000 asd86040

    Posted

    Dear asd86040,

    Your post is 5 months old now so you might not see this response. I hope you're feeling so much better. 17 is such a tough time of life in general. Moving around a lot must be hard. I know how mean people can be. Your post made me tear up and I'm a 45 year old guy. I'm a psychologist but came across your post after searching for some new ideas for my own depression. I won't tell you how to live your life or what you should do to try to feel better. Just know that life will be a lot easier very very soon once you get out of high school. Please try hard to tell yourself that you'll be okay, that you love yourself even if you feel like unloveable. As another poster said, it comes down to keeping your chin up everyday. If there's an underlying health issue or perhaps something that rises to the level of needing medication, you'll figure it out. Simply by reaching out on this forum you've already done more for yourself, at 17, than most people who struggle like this ever do. If you do read this, please tell us how you're doing. It will get easier.

    Best wishes,

    SB3000

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